Housemate problem

[Jazzz]

Recently I've had the stress of having to ask a housemate to leave. I've lived with this girl a while but her foibles have just got worse to the point where she's been quite intolerable. This includes pinching food as a matter of routine; hardly doing any housework - (you have to scream at her several times to get her to do any, and then she does it really badly); running up a large phone bill on my telephone without any permission which I only discover when I check the calls (I am still waiting for the money); being short of the bill money because she has no control over her finances, although she earns over £30k - etc etc

Latest fun was her smashing in the glass pane in the front door with a brick coming home on NYE because I'd unusually triple-locked the door and she assumed it was locked from the inside.

The trouble is, true to form, she appears to have no plans to go quietly and is acting as if nothing has happened. We have six months left to run on a year's contract. I am really really keen - along with the other housemate - that she simply goes in some reasonable timeframe. Or that we can get out of the contract somehow and find somewhere else but I'd like to keep the house if possible.

I am just exasperated with this

Any advice welcome

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

Tell her to get out. Tell her to get out within 24 hours or you're chucking her stuff out. Then do it.

 

[Yu_Gi_Oh]

Did you actually ask her to go? What did she say?

 

[Badgers]

Is her name on the contract?

 

[idioteque]

Bloody hell, she sounds even worse than mine

 

[Gmart]

Change the locks!!

 

[littlebabyjesus]

Is this the first time you've mentioned her moving out, or had you made her an ultimatum before - sort yourself out, or else...

Not paying the bills is reason enough to kick her out, I would have thought, and it's not even being harsh if she's earning good money. That's just plain selfish of her.

 

[bluestreak]

I agree with lbj. You've asked her to leave, she should now be going. It sucks for her but tough luck, you shouldn't ahve to put up with this. If she doesn't go quite simply throw her stuff out into the street and change the locks.

 

[Jazzz]

Is this the first time you've mentioned her moving out, or had you made her an ultimatum before - sort yourself out, or else...

Not paying the bills is reason enough to kick her out, I would have thought, and it's not even being harsh if she's earning good money. That's just plain selfish of her.

We decided that enough was enough and that the point of no return was reached and we just wanted her out as soon as possible. The other girl just couldn't bear her anymore (she'd do really nice things like 'borrow' her tights, which she'd get back when she found them on the floor, unwashed). There had already been several attempts to make an issue of it - she would simply ignore them and play the 'poor me' card (she spends all her time fretting over her completely bonkers relationships with total freaks). Meetings would be cancelled. When she was cornered, she'd throw a tantrum and announce that none of it mattered anyway because she was going to move out!

The thing is I've really been so accommodating and supportive of her but now just feel like she has sapped all my energy

 

[Gmart]

If she doesn't go quite simply throw her stuff out into the street and change the locks.

What about squatter's rights???

 

[Jazzz]

Is her name on the contract?

Yep it's the standard joint tenancy (assurred shorthold?). We've already run one year, then the third housemate changed, and we signed up for another year.

 

[Vintage Paw]

It can feel like you're caught in the middle of a tornado, but try to take a step outside of it, re-read what you've posted about her, and realise that anyone in your position wouldn't stand for it any more. Get tough, take no prisoners, and kick the silly woman out pronto.

Letting it drag on will clearly cause more problems.

 

[madzone]

Yep it's the standard joint tenancy (assurred shorthold?). We've already run one year, then the third housemate changed, and we signed up for another year.

If her name's on the contract can you throw her out?

 

[littlebabyjesus]

It's tough, mind - do you have someone else lined up to move in? Otherwise you may be lumbered with paying her share of the rent.

 

[Jazzz]

Did you actually ask her to go? What did she say?

She threw a tantrum but the basic gist of it was that she didn't appear to feel any need to move out on our behalf and from discussions I've had with mutual friends that seems to be the case still.

She's kind of 'being sweet' now and it's kicked her into sorting out her four-month pile of laundry but unfortunately I now just can't find any behaviour of hers reasonable while she doesn't agree to go.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

If her name's on the contract can you throw her out?

If she doesn't pay her share of the bills, she's broken an unwritten contract with her housemates, and she'd have a weak case in court because of that.

 

[astral]

Yep it's the standard joint tenancy (assurred shorthold?). We've already run one year, then the third housemate changed, and we signed up for another year.

If it comes to it, you can speak to your Landlord and give him a months notice, then move out. You should be able to get out of the tenancy agreement with the correct notice.

 

[Jazzz]

It's tough, mind - do you have someone else lined up to move in? Otherwise you may be lumbered with paying her share of the rent.

yes there's a possibility lined up plus it's the biggest room in a really spacious house - there wouldn't be any problem renting it.

 

[bluestreak]

What about squatter's rights???

Squatters have no rights, the only people who think they do are idiots! If it's a standard tenancy all the names on the tenancy agreement are liable for all the rent. If one person isn't paying the others are legally responsible. If no-one is lined up Jazzz et al will still need to supply the full rent.

 

[Jazzz]

Change the locks!!

I'd love to be able to consider this or Ann's suggestion but it would be an unlawful eviction.

 

[bluestreak]

It would be, but the police wouldn't be interested, and if she can't afford the bills she won't be able to afford to prosecute!

 

[pogofish]

The thing is I've really been so accommodating and supportive of her but now just feel like she has sapped all my energy

That is exactly what these characters tend to do to you, esp if you have been in any way supportive/helpful towards them. Been there & suggest you don't piss about any more.

Give her a final warning & a firm deadline to quit - if she fails to move out, put a bolt on the door & move her stuff to the middle of a local roundabout, then tell her where to collect it.

I'd be very surprised if she tries to come back after that!

 

[Belushi]

When I saw the title I hoped Jazzz suspected his housemate of being a lizard

Kick her out mate, folk like her will just keep on taking the piss.

 

[catrina]

You have to just detach yourself from the situation. It can be very awkward and feel dehumanizing, but if you want her out that's the best way. Just approach her when she's calm (i.e. not pissed), and say we need you out by the end of the week, you've broken your end of the bargain, and if you don't move then we are breaking the lease. Perhaps ask your landlord/estate agent whether this would be possible so that you can provide evidence that this is a reality. Have her share of the deposit ready, less any outstanding money she owes for bills.

Then sever any connection. You can be polite, but don't be warm and friendly, as she sounds like the type who is quick to prey on people who cut her slack.

 

[TopCat]

Rent a little sorage space and move her stuff into it. Give her the key, end of.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

If her name's on the contract can you throw her out?

Not legally. But what's she going to do? Sue?

Dear Mr Magistrate, yes, I know I was really unreasonable, by running up bills, not paying them, stealing food, wearing my flatmates tights and returning them unwashed, but even so, it was really, really, really, really unreasonable of them to kick me out.

You have to think of the legal remedies... the legal remedy would be to re-install her, allow her to back into the property... but by the time the case went to court, the six month tenancy would probably be up anyway...

And if she can't afford to pay bills, buy her own food and tights, does she have enough money for a lawyer?

Nah, f*** her!

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

I'd love to be able to consider this or Ann's suggestion but it would be an unlawful eviction.

And you care... because...?

She isn't treating you with any respect, so why should you be expected to treat her with any respect?

Don't.

She treats you like sh!t, give her a dose of her own medicine. It's the only thing that seems to work -- although she'll probably whinge and feel hard done to and complain about how awful you are, without even stopping to think for one second about her actions and responsibility for the whole affair.1

 

[Jazzz]

And you care... because...?

She isn't treating you with any respect, so why should you be expected to treat her with any respect?

Don't.

She treats you like sh!t, give her a dose of her own medicine. It's the only thing that seems to work -- although she'll probably whinge and feel hard done to and complain about how awful you are, without even stopping to think for one second about her actions and responsibility for the whole affair.1

Well if she isn't gone by the end of the notice we gave her (1 month) then...

well hypothetically if we did this couldn't she get the police to regain entry?

 

[Thora]

Well if she isn't gone by the end of the notice we gave her (1 month) then...

well hypothetically if we did this couldn't she get the police to regain entry?

Maybe hypothetically but I can't see them being bothered too.

 

[baldrick]

Well if she isn't gone by the end of the notice we gave her (1 month) then...

well hypothetically if we did this couldn't she get the police to regain entry?

i doubt it. they certainly wouldn't break your door down to get her back in and tbh they'll probably just try and talk to you and see if there's a reasonable solution to be had.

how long do you have to put up with her till her notice ends?