Hip-Hop Lines To Use In Job Interviews

[DotCommunist]

You'll be expected to negotiate with driven salespeople in ongoing contract negotiations. What would you say to one of our guys in a negotiation of pay and conditions

Base, how low can you go

 

[Supine]

Brilliant thread idea

 

[eatmorecheese]

How will you inspire confidence in our largely public school educated clientele? Can you speak the language?

Yah Yah Yah, Yah Yah
Yah Yah Yah, Yah Yah
Yah Yah Yah, Yah Yah
Yah Yah Yah, Yah Yah


When I step up in the place
ay yo I step correct
Woo-Hah
got you all in check

 

[DotCommunist]

As a shop floor manager you'll also be expected to undertake the role of fire marshall in the event of a fire. How do you envisage effecting this role under crises

we don't need no water let the motherfucker burn

 

[ddraig]

"Wu Tang is for the children"

 

[eatmorecheese]

Can you tell me three important factors in effective team working?

Stop, collaborate and listen

 

[DaveCinzano]

I have to say, we on the NASA recruitment board were rather baffled by your CV, given that you have no military or civil aviation experience, no scientific background - and I am sorry to inform you that we have been advised that your certificate in ‘5 Percenter Mathematics’ from the Shaolin Online University does not meet our minimum requirements - and yet simultaneously intrigued by your application, in which you stated that you had read a book which completely qualified you to join our astronaut program. Can you tell us a little more about that - and for a start, what is the name of this wonder manual?

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

 

[stethoscope]

What would your priority be if you were to become environmental services officer?
Broken glass everywhere
People pissin' on the stairs, you know they just don't care

 

[DaveCinzano]

As a shop floor manager you'll also be expected to undertake the role of fire marshall in the event of a fire. How do you envisage effecting this role under crises

we don't need no water let the motherfucker burn

I am minded that onenameshelley was (or perhaps still is) a fire marshal, and I can completely hear her uttering that line in the event of a blaze

 

[Supine]

Can you tell us how you'd deal with key stakeholders who want to push you in different directions?

Jump up, jump up and get down!

 

[Voley]

To summarise, then, what are the main skills that you could bring to the role of lollipop lady?

Manipulator, fader, perpetrator, hater, innovator, debater, operator, calculator.

 

[Supine]

To summarise, then, what are the main skills that you could bring to the role of lollipop lady?

Manipulator, fader, perpetrator, hater, innovator, debater, operator, calculator.

Hired!!!

 

[Athos]

Tell me about your experience in the hospitality industry.

Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Platform safety - obviously a very important aspect to station safety here on the Underground. How would you sum it up in one line?

Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge

 

[DaveCinzano]

Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn.

Beaten to the punch by DotCommunist - ouch, that's got to sting

 

[DaveCinzano]

Obviously a big thing in today's caring, sharing, globalised and transparent business world is the concept of corporate social responsibility - tell us your thoughts on that...

It ain't a crime if you don't get caught.

Congratulations! Welcome onboard!

 

[Voley]

Platform safety - obviously a very important aspect to station safety here on the Underground.

And sometimes it makes you wonder how you keep from going under.

 

[Supine]

You need to pull in the team for some weekend working due to the multi million pound contract getting signed on Monday morning. How do you motivate the team?

Saturday, it's a Saturday
It's a Saturday, it's a Saturday
Saturday, it's a Saturday
Saturday, it's a Saturday

 

[DotCommunist]

Beaten to the punch by DotCommunist - ouch, that's got to sting

and he got the lyric correct whereas I didn't (there's a surprise). But I harvest the likes

 

[Athos]

Beaten to the punch by DotCommunist - ouch, that's got to sting

But, like Tupac says, 'Through all the rain and all the pain, you gotta keep your sense of humor'.

 

[Voley]

Working as a gravedigger will require sensitivity to people recently bereaved. How will you approach this?

I got six foot deep ditches for all you motherfuckin fake bitches.

 

[Supine]

Your booked to DJ at a Samaritans Christmas party. What's the first song you'd play?

Don't push me, cos I'm close to the edge

 

[Athos]

So, if the company was to appoint you to the post of Female Dog Salesman, what would you say to potential customers to reassure them that our products are not of low quality?

Bitches ain't shit.

 

[8115]

What's your biggest weakness?

I wish I was a little bit taller.

 

[pesh]

you're going to be doing a 6 week workfare placement

even though we getting money you can gimmie some more

 

[Athos]

I understand you lost your previous job - at the coffee shop - because of the way you made the drinks; tell me about that...

Too black. Too strong.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

I understand you're looking for employment here as a landscape gardener. Can you show us a portfolio of your work in this field?

Check out my gravel pit.

 

[Athos]

Talk me through how you calculate the gross profit margin based on the unit cost of raw ingredients...

32 grams raw, chop it in half, get 16. Double it times 3, we got 48, which mean a whole lot of cream. Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight, we back to sixteen...

 

[8115]

Have you got any holiday already booked?

Yes, I'll be gone till November.

 

[Silva]

So, what's your reason to work here?

Got a bum education, double digit inflation?