Half Man Half Biscuit

[souljacker]

Check the bass on Uffington Wassail. That's why they were never a comedy band,

Also, one of their best ever lyrics:

Sealed Knot society let's see you try and do this one
Lunton Town, Millwall, 1985

 

[billy_bob]

I could find my way home from Sierra Leone, but I'm lost without an inside pocket

 

[mauvais]

I went to a Derbyshire town yesterday. Which one?

No frills
Handy for the hills
That's the way you spell New Mills

 

[QOTH]

He's just able to skewer people with a really precise put-down. Like this -

'You call glastonbury 'glasto', you'd like to go there one day
When they've put up the gun towers, to keep the hippies away.'

You know *exactly* who he means.

 

[billy_bob]

He's just able to skewer people with a really precise put-down. Like this -

'You call glastonbury 'glasto', you'd like to go there one day
When they've put up the gun towers, to keep the hippies away.'

You know *exactly* who he means.

And of course,
They've got nothing but total respect for
Annie Lennox

 

[krtek a houby]

I shout all my obscenities from steeples
But please don’t label me a madman
I’m off to see the Bootleg Beatles
As the bootleg Mark Chapman

 

[butchersapron]

Of all the options you post one that's already been posted.

 

[sojourner]

I was coming to post this.

Sting, singing on the roof of the Barbican perfectly encapsulates... something very english.

I remember when I first met you, years ago, and I was raving about HMHB. You said 'they don't play very well though, do they?' and I believe I ripped the piss out of you on the very spot

Anyway, massive fan here, seen 'em loads over the years, but Nigel's deffo lost his ire now. Last three albums have been weak in terms of contempt, scorn and cutting lyrics. I can't choose between about 5 of the albums, but Godcore is right up there, cos there is just nothing like that last track.

Also - 'lazy greedy farmers, pick your own strawberries!'

And as I was driving the other day and someone tried to pull out of a junction too eagerly for my liking, I actually said 'get back in your technical area' in a growly voice Careful D'Ward, listen to too much of them and you begin to speak like Nigel!

 

[killer b]

I think I'd only seen them live at that point Soj: maybe I caught them on a bad night, but it just seemed like tiresome pub rock.

I've had the chance to listen to some of their records since (I guess being able to hear the lyrics, away from a load of drunk middle aged men roaring along in their duckla prague away kits helped), and have revised my views.

 

[souljacker]

And as I was driving the other day and someone tried to pull out of a junction too eagerly for my liking, I actually said 'get back in your technical area' in a growly voice Careful D'Ward, listen to too much of them and you begin to speak like Nigel!

I regularly burst into HMHB whilst driving, specifically: Indicate then, you stupid bastard how was I supposed to know you're turning left instead of right, I'm not a mind reader.....

Scares the kids a little.

 

[billy_bob]

I regularly burst into HMHB whilst driving, specifically: Indicate then, you stupid bastard how was I supposed to know you're turning left instead of right, I'm not a mind reader.....

Scares the kids a little.

A little less aggressive than that one, but I often find myself muttering 'oh, you stay as you are and I'll just walk in the road...' sarcastically at inconsiderate pavement-hoggers.

 

[stavros]

"I'll take the TGV to Zurich and jump off the roof of Dignitas"

 

[big eejit]

Curse those in charge of plots!
Curse these forget-me-knots!

 

[josef1878]

Curse those in charge of plots!
Curse these forget-me-knots!

That really shouldn't have made me laugh as much as it did

 

[billy_bob]

...almost inevitably, Clare Raynor appeared....

 

[Idris2002]

Of all the options you post one that's already been posted.

If only people would study the rules more.

 

[Nice one]

Flight of the Conchords are the only other band I can think of that successfully pulls it off.

Television Personalities had a lot to answer for. If you've got someone who can take the blame, you've got privilege, it's one thing i never had. Dan Treacy also did overbearing sentimentality like no other. Then there was I Ludicrous who were a paired down geography teacher version of HMHB, and Carter who were an I Ludicrous rip-off band, although more clever word-play than comedy interludes.

On a lilo in a sea of alright

 

[William of Walworth]

Half Man Half Biscuit are up there as the cleverest and funniest band ever (IMO).

But whoever said earlier that their commitment to gigging is (or was?) patchy is spot on

One of the organisers at Bearded Theory has tried and tried several times to book them (said organiser is even a Tranmere fan ), and Bearded isn't even in the South (they have a widely known aversion to gigging it all, but especially in the South). No joy

ETA though :mention on the HMHB website (next post) of 'Autumn gigs in Lincoln, Newcastle, Leeds' ..... but which Autumn do they mean?

 

[William of Walworth]

Anyway my very favourite HMHB lyric (Reflections In a Flat) :

Oh darling sugar honey
When it was nice and sunny
And when I had some money
We would go and see Echo And The Bunny
…men

Superb linebreak

And what a superb site this one is generally : The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

 

[William of Walworth]

They're already available. The half of the audience that weren't wearing a dukla Prague away kit when I last saw them were sporting joy division oven gloves.

Want pair!!

And now, reading back through the thread properly, I keep seeing references to recent gigs, even one in Bristol .... am I out of date then about their gigging drought?

 

[billy_bob]

ETA though :mention on the HMHB website (next post) of 'Autumn gigs in Lincoln, Newcastle, Leeds' ..... but which Autumn do they mean?

Apparently they do mean this year

Very good news for those of us near Newcastle, who will get to find out whether HMHB can organise a piss-up in a brewery (a particularly fine brewery at that ).

 

[billy_bob]

And what a superb site this one is generally : The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

The level of pedantry in the discussions is magnificent, isn't it? Their fans really care.

 

[rekil]

"Hear Patti Smith (and Annie Lennox) sing at the Vatican"

Not one of Nigel's. It's 4 real.

Ten things to do in Italy in December

 

[friedaweed]

Upcoming Gigs

• Robin 2, Bilston – 8th February 2018 • Tickets
• The Assembly, Leamington Spa – 27th April 2018 • Tickets
• O2 Forum, Kentish Town, London – 8th June 2018 • Tickets

• 
  

 

[craigxcraig]

Thanks for the heads up, booked for the Forum

 

[billy_bob]

I was just on the website this morning wondering whether they had any gigs coming up that I could ask for tickets to for christmas. Those are too far away though

 

[friedaweed]

Yeah I'm waiting for the Camel Lairds Social Club Secret Gig

 

[billy_bob]

Yeah I'm waiting for the Camel Lairds Social Club Secret Gig

Or supporting Styx...

 

[friedaweed]

Or supporting Styx...

I hear that one got a Bad Review

 

[billy_bob]

I... oh fuck it, I could be doing this all day.