Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics (cheer me up)
- Thread starter billy_bob
- Start date
Velouria
Long time lurker
Architecture, Morality, Ted and Alice
The wonderful dexterity of Hanne Mikkula
Makes me want to shake hands with the whole of Finland
But the horrible sincerity of Miriam Stoppard!
makes me want to go out and commit mass murder!
I rang James Scott for a usual friend
he was otherwise engaged so I looked round the bend
I saw the wheels of nihilism rolling my way
and now I live life in the bus lane ...
I live life in the bus lane
the halcyonic dynamo of my little childhood
made me want to go out on the roads in winter
But the nauseating bashfulness of Lady Diana!!!
Makes me want to set fire to commemorative tea-towels!
[Forgot most of the second chorus, something to do with an axe wielding maniac]
... a maniac laughing at me
he said I saw it in the adverts...
I saw it in the adverts...
You broke your grandma`s neck
and smothered her in custard
as a contribution to your folio
and the very next day
the lecturer at college
the one with the beard and the polio
said `Well yeah it`s got potential
And it could well be essential
But it should be more dramatic if you know what I mean ...
Have you tuned in to Radio Gaga
Every ??? at ??? (every evening at quarter to five?)
Scan the airwaves for Radio Gaga
it goes something like this ...
[cue cheesy synth bit]
-------
HMHB wise I am prolly at a distinct advantage cause in the days before lyrics servers, and because we were cheapskates and only had tape copies of it, a friend of mine and I transcribed all the lyrics
and I`m still on the lookout for a proper transformer!!!
The wonderful dexterity of Hanne Mikkula
Makes me want to shake hands with the whole of Finland
But the horrible sincerity of Miriam Stoppard!
makes me want to go out and commit mass murder!
I rang James Scott for a usual friend
he was otherwise engaged so I looked round the bend
I saw the wheels of nihilism rolling my way
and now I live life in the bus lane ...
I live life in the bus lane
the halcyonic dynamo of my little childhood
made me want to go out on the roads in winter
But the nauseating bashfulness of Lady Diana!!!
Makes me want to set fire to commemorative tea-towels!
[Forgot most of the second chorus, something to do with an axe wielding maniac]
... a maniac laughing at me
he said I saw it in the adverts...
I saw it in the adverts...
You broke your grandma`s neck
and smothered her in custard
as a contribution to your folio
and the very next day
the lecturer at college
the one with the beard and the polio
said `Well yeah it`s got potential
And it could well be essential
But it should be more dramatic if you know what I mean ...
Have you tuned in to Radio Gaga
Every ??? at ??? (every evening at quarter to five?)
Scan the airwaves for Radio Gaga
it goes something like this ...
[cue cheesy synth bit]
-------
HMHB wise I am prolly at a distinct advantage cause in the days before lyrics servers, and because we were cheapskates and only had tape copies of it, a friend of mine and I transcribed all the lyrics
and I`m still on the lookout for a proper transformer!!!
Termite Man
zombie flesh eater
James Dean was just a careless driver
And Marylin Monroe was just a slag
And Marylin Monroe was just a slag
alphaDelta
◘◘\«ˆ»/◘◘
You call Glastonbury Glasto
You'd like to go there one day
When they put up the gun towers
To keep the hippies away
You'd like to go there one day
When they put up the gun towers
To keep the hippies away
Termite Man
zombie flesh eater
Pus D said:Get back in your technical area.
Hmmm...ideas for Saturday's PROD that have been gesticulating for a while now...no one's gonna dance to 'em though
HMHB at PRoD
Good idea !
souljacker
innit
Dubversion said:
Including their final Peel Session, which includes the rather wonderful " Joy Division Oven Gloves"
i_hate_beckham
Him From A Village
Time fly's by when your the driver of a train,
Speeding into Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine,
I get high when i'm the pilot of a plane,
Touching down at Heathrow when i'm stoned out of my brain.
Under bridges,
Over bridges,
To our destination,
Careful with that spliff Eugene,
It causes condensation,
Speeding into Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine,
I get high when i'm the pilot of a plane,
Touching down at Heathrow when i'm stoned out of my brain.
Under bridges,
Over bridges,
To our destination,
Careful with that spliff Eugene,
It causes condensation,
psycherelic
I'm not an old hippy!
They've got nothing but total respect for...
ANNIE LENNOX!
ANNIE LENNOX!
montevideo
New Member
Why is Rod Hull alive,
and getting paid as well!
and getting paid as well!
i_hate_beckham
Him From A Village
Its this threads fault i'm bidding for a copy of DHSS on ebay. 
billy_bob
Air of bewilderment model's own
Just come back to this thread after a computer-free holiday and I can't believe that Nigel's 'breakdown' or whatever you want to call it was discussed without someone mentioning "Used to be in Evil Gazebo":
"BEEN IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL, I'VE BEEN IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL,
BUT I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT"
One of the greatest choruses of all time.
It always pleases me to hear Andy Kershaw describe them as "the best English folk band since The Clash". Novelty act my arse.
Then there's
"do you turn the kitchen light off with your chin?"
"and I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes either"
"Husker du-du-du..."
"I am the landlord of the pub that gets the cemetry trade"
Aahh, I'm cheered up all over again.
"BEEN IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL, I'VE BEEN IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL,
BUT I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT"
One of the greatest choruses of all time.
It always pleases me to hear Andy Kershaw describe them as "the best English folk band since The Clash". Novelty act my arse.
Then there's
"do you turn the kitchen light off with your chin?"
"and I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes either"
"Husker du-du-du..."
"I am the landlord of the pub that gets the cemetry trade"
Aahh, I'm cheered up all over again.
Divisive Cotton
Now I just have my toy soldiers
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dulka Prague Away Kit
What a story... the B-side to the Trumpton Riots (which is probably one of the greatest punk songs of all time)
There was one in a gang,
Who had Scalextric,
And because of that,
He thought he was better than you.
Everyday after school,
You'd go around there to play it,
Hoping to compete for some kind championship,
And it always took about 15 billion hours to set the track up.
And even when you did, the thing never seemed to work.
It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.
A dodgy transformer, again and again.
It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.
A dodgy transformer, cost 3 pounds 10.
So he sent his doting mother
Up the stairs with the stepladder,
To get the Subbuteo,
Out of the loft.
He had all the accessories,
Required for that big-match atmosphere.
The crowd and the dugout,
And the floodlights, too.
And you'd always get palmed off
With a headless center-forward,
And a goal-kicker with no arms,
And a face like his.
And he'd managed to get hold of
A Dukla-Prague Away Kit,
His uncle owned a sport shop
And he'd kept it to one side.
And after only five minutes
You'd be down to ten men,
Because he'd sent off your right back for taking the base from under his left winger.
Come to half-time, you were losing, four-nil.
Each and every goal, a hotly disputed penatly.
So you smash up the floodlights
And the game was abandoned,
And the dog would bark
And you'd be banned from his house.
And your travelling army
Of synthetic supporters
Would be taken away from you
And thrown in the bin.
And now he's working
In a job with a future.
He hands me my Giro
Every two weeks.
And me, I'm on the lookout
For a proper transformer.
What a story... the B-side to the Trumpton Riots (which is probably one of the greatest punk songs of all time)
There was one in a gang,
Who had Scalextric,
And because of that,
He thought he was better than you.
Everyday after school,
You'd go around there to play it,
Hoping to compete for some kind championship,
And it always took about 15 billion hours to set the track up.
And even when you did, the thing never seemed to work.
It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.
A dodgy transformer, again and again.
It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.
A dodgy transformer, cost 3 pounds 10.
So he sent his doting mother
Up the stairs with the stepladder,
To get the Subbuteo,
Out of the loft.
He had all the accessories,
Required for that big-match atmosphere.
The crowd and the dugout,
And the floodlights, too.
And you'd always get palmed off
With a headless center-forward,
And a goal-kicker with no arms,
And a face like his.
And he'd managed to get hold of
A Dukla-Prague Away Kit,
His uncle owned a sport shop
And he'd kept it to one side.
And after only five minutes
You'd be down to ten men,
Because he'd sent off your right back for taking the base from under his left winger.
Come to half-time, you were losing, four-nil.
Each and every goal, a hotly disputed penatly.
So you smash up the floodlights
And the game was abandoned,
And the dog would bark
And you'd be banned from his house.
And your travelling army
Of synthetic supporters
Would be taken away from you
And thrown in the bin.
And now he's working
In a job with a future.
He hands me my Giro
Every two weeks.
And me, I'm on the lookout
For a proper transformer.
scumbalina
Scummy Mummy
t0bytoo said:
THATS what he sez!
fishfingerer
sultan of cringe
Dean Friedman's a fan.
Idaho
continuity character
The Groke said:
Well luckily for you I can pretty much remember all of it:
I fancy I'll open a stationers
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at the Rollwright stones
I came and set fire to your shed
because you probably work at an all night garage
you probably work at an all night garage
you probably work at an all night garage
with Talk Radio on
I only stopped by for a box of Pringles.. sour cream and chive
And because you have to get off your fat arse and walk round the counter to get them.. it's all terribly inconvienient so you toss them into that sliding draw that seperates us and say 'one thirty nine' rather than 'that will be one pound thirty nine please sir'. This is done of course to annoy me, but has the opposite effect of amusing me no end because I suddenly remember all sorts of things I want
I'll have ten kit-kats and jar of marmite
ten kit-kats and jar of marmite
ten kit-kats and jar of marmite
what sandwiches have you got?
Now you start to get quite irate and your voice starts to sound like Leadbelly at the depot
I got cheese
I got ham
I got tuna sweetcorn
I got tuna sweetcorn
I'll have three scotch eggs and a motoring atlas
three scotch eggs and a motoring atlas
and a Blues CD on the Hallmark label
that's sure to be good
He went to play golf on a sunday morning ... ahh.. forgotten the rest...
billy_bob
Air of bewilderment model's own
Idaho said:
--just a mile and a half from town,
his head was found on the driving range and his body has never been found.
I think you'll find.
Also, it's "slidey metal tray device thing", not "sliding draw".
Otherwise, spot on. Me and my mates used to play the same game when we were pissed and 18. Is it universal then?
fishfingerer
sultan of cringe
Been listening to HMHB a lot lately and noticed that Nigel's delivery is a crucial component in the band's greatness, eg the 'human resources' line in ITME.
My brother and I are contemplating a pilgrimage across the water to see them if they play some more gigs this year.
My brother and I are contemplating a pilgrimage across the water to see them if they play some more gigs this year.
ViolentPanda
Hardly getting over it.
Me, I love "Turn a Blind Eye" (off of "Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral") a pastiche of Pastor Neimoller's prose.
My fave line is (probably because it mirrors my own opinion):
"They came for Dani Behr...
I said 'she's over there, behind the wardrobe' "
My fave line is (probably because it mirrors my own opinion):
"They came for Dani Behr...
I said 'she's over there, behind the wardrobe' "
"we just had a guerilla gig
in the middle of another group's guerilla gig
we thought it was the ultimate guerilla gig
but still they cried like girls"
in the middle of another group's guerilla gig
we thought it was the ultimate guerilla gig
but still they cried like girls"
souljacker
innit
fishfingerer said:
Coincidentally.......
HMHB will be playing the Wulfrun Hall in Wolverhampton on Thursday 9th
June - tickets £12.50 - more info on the website....www.hmhb.co.uk
I received that this morning.
souljacker said:
i just had a conversation about this, but realised i'm going to be at Unsound in Italy. and Sheffield is just TOO far to go.
souljacker
innit
Dubversion said:
Well, you could save some of the hassle and just go to Worlverhampton, where the gig is.
souljacker said:Well, you could save some of the hassle and just go to Worlverhampton, where the gig is.
no. there's a sheffield gig in april. i'm in italy for the wolves one.
Not sure what song it is now - and this from memory - but I love the opening lines:
My uncle Charlie is a cynical man.
His wife's a bit sceptical too.
They've got a sticker in the backof their van
That says 'we've seen the prices at the zoo'.
When I called on Charlie and said that I was passing,
Charlie launched a scathing attack.
He looked at me and said 'you stupid bastard
We live in a cul-de-sac'
Recently regained all my old records from my mother's loft and am eagerly awaiting a HMHB session. Fantastic lyrics. Top band.
My uncle Charlie is a cynical man.
His wife's a bit sceptical too.
They've got a sticker in the backof their van
That says 'we've seen the prices at the zoo'.
When I called on Charlie and said that I was passing,
Charlie launched a scathing attack.
He looked at me and said 'you stupid bastard
We live in a cul-de-sac'
Recently regained all my old records from my mother's loft and am eagerly awaiting a HMHB session. Fantastic lyrics. Top band.
Termite Man
zombie flesh eater
I'll have 10 kitkats and a motoring atlas and a blue cd on the hallmark label - thats sure to be good !
Termite Man
zombie flesh eater
Biffo said:
I'm downloading loads of HMHB off Dubversion on soulseek
Best Band ever IMHO
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