Got a Beemer as a courtesy car. How should I amend my behaviour?

[JuanTwoThree]

Vorhaut durch Technik

 

[Poi E]

You could try driving it, but the VANOS will break once you get up to speed. Crush it and use it as a BMW malaise-era paperweight.

 

[Pickman's model]

You could try driving it, but the VANOS will break once you get up to speed. Crush it and use it as a BMW malaise-era paperweight.

vanos? wtf?

e2a: why didn't you just say variable nockenwellensteuerung?

 

[hash tag]

If you should chance upon an indicator stalk (I believe some models were erroneously fitted with these) be sure to snap it off lest you be tempted to use it at any point.

Indicator stalks are for hanging underwear on, either yours, someone else's or both.

Drive it like you stole it. Drive it like you own the road, like there is no one else to bother about.

 

[Poi E]

vanos? wtf?

e2a: why didn't you just say variable nockenwellensteuerung?

Read it like that and you just know it will break.

 

[Gromit]

They say the fastest car in the world is the...

... Hire car.

Drive it like you stole it coz hell it's not your concern if you fuck the gears etc.

 

[weltweit]

... Hire car.

 

[DownwardDog]

Why would anyone do this?

So you can do a mint sampatsu drift without open diffing it into a one wheel peel and thereby losing at life.

 

[DownwardDog]

oh BMW. And now you're poisoning Toyota

I think the new BMW B58 engined Supra is going to be good. I'm on the list for a white one which will be enhanced by a set of bronze TE37s. I am basically working my way through all the cars I wanted as a teenager but couldn't afford.

 

[telbert]

Just drive like a cunt.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Bloke in a BMW just ran me over on a pedestrian crossing.

Was it you A380 ?

 

[hash tag]

If someone ran you over they really did a poor job if you are still posting

 

[dessiato]

Bloke in a BMW just ran me over on a pedestrian crossing.

Was it you A380 ?

Were you killed?

 

[SpookyFrank]

Were you killed?

My bike was. I myself am immortal.

 

[dessiato]

My bike was. I myself am immortal.

Two of the worst things in the U75 universe. Bicycles and BMW.

 

[hash tag]

There are three things in the U75 universe

Bicycles
BMW
Audi

 

[A380]

Bloke in a BMW just ran me over on a pedestrian crossing.

Was it you A380 ?

Yeah, since it was dropped off by the hire company I can no longer see zebra crossings. It was your fault for being on the road peasant.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Yeah, since it was dropped off by the hire company I can no longer see zebra crossings. It was your fault for being on the road peasant.

It's a very badly designed crossing. It's not marked like a normal zebra crossing so it's not clear who has priority and visibilty is bad both from the road and the bike lane/pavement. Luckily for me there are speed bumps though.

The driver was very nice to give him his due, although whether that was out of sheer dread at the prospect of being sued only the gods know.

 

[spitfire]

Two of the worst things in the U75 universe. Bicycles and BMW.

I have both. *hates self*

 

[dessiato]

I have both. *hates self*

And so you should.

 

[not-bono-ever]

i have been kicking about in a transit all weekend. My behavior has certainly changed. you have to thrash the ball off them

'ave it

 

[sim667]

Did you disconnect the indicators? Thats important.

 

[Spymaster]

My bike was.

Any pics for us to laugh at?

 

[ViolentPanda]

So, after someone who definitely wasn’t on their phone rear ended me on an empty dual carriageway at 70 my hippy/taxi driver channeling hybrid is now a foot shorter than it once was.

I get a curtesy car and the hire company have given me a black BMW318 with tinted windows. It’s not an Audi, so I don’t have to become a sociopath, but how do I amend my driving / life style to fully embrace my new hair gelled 1990’s personal pension salesman persona?

Drive like Spymaster. That is, like a psychopath fleeing the scene of a spree killing.

 

[kebabking]

Drive like Spymaster. That is, like a psychopath fleeing the scene of a spree killing.

Sensible policies for a happier Britain.

 

[steveo87]

The Old Man has driven BMW's most of my life.
He's all right.
Bit rascist, mind.
So be more rascist.

 

[Pickman's model]

The Old Man has driven BMW's most of my life.
He's all right.
Bit rascist, mind.
So be more rascist.

Nice to see an urban tradition revived

 

[Pickman's model]

Drive like Spymaster. That is, like a psychopath fleeing the scene of a spree killing.

Approaching, surely

 

[ViolentPanda]

Approaching, surely

Both, to be fair.

 

[tommers]

Don't forget to undertake.