Getting rid of a shedload of old bank statements

[Throbbing Angel]

The local council might run an incinerator - ours did back in the day, and you could drive up and dump anything into the hoppers to be consumed by the flames. You'd probably get away with bodies 30 years ago.

'might'
'back in the day'
'probably'

 

[JimW]

You could send them to the DSS in support of a benefits claim, they'll never be seen or heard of again.

 

[blossie33]

You've probably got too much paper to want to do this but I ripped up some papers roughly and put them in a bowl, then put boiling water in it, left it for a while to get cooler then mashed it all together.
I then mixed it up in the middle of my general rubbish bag.

 

[editor]

You've probably got too much paper to want to do this but I ripped up some papers roughly and put them in a bowl, then put boiling water in it, left it for a while to get cooler then mashed it all together.
I then mixed it up in the middle of my general rubbish bag.

If I had that amount of time, I'd probably make a papier mache dinosaur.

 

[toblerone3]

Why do you keep 5 years of paper copies of bank statements anyway? i don't get any paper copies these days. Even when I did have paper statements, I never saw the need to keep more than one year's worth.

 

[Treacle Toes]

Visit a friend with a garden. Burn.
Or, visit a friend in an office with a big shredder. Shred.

 

[existentialist]

My mum once gave me a shit ton of confidential documents and told me to burn them in the back yard. There was so much it took me a couple of hours to get rid of it all.

Unfortunately my mum had also made a small pile of stuff that wasn't to be burnt, but for reasons unknown had also left this in the backyard next to the many piles of stuff that was to be burnt. So obviously I burnt the don't burn pile. One of the things in that pile was the little sister's student loan application, and she ended up penniless for her first time at university and, predictably, borrowing beer money off me

The exMrsE had (has) a habit of putting Things To Go Somewhere in black bin bags. I know that some have ended up going out for the dustmen, but I shudder to think what stuff might have gone that way without our even knowing it. And she was as impervious to my suggestion that she didn't do this as she was to my rather more insistent suggestion that she stopped putting piles of polythene sleeves at the top of the stairs - "but how else will anyone know they need to go downstairs?".

 

[existentialist]

Visit a friend with a garden. Burn.
Or, visit a friend in an office with a big shredder. Shred.

Stacks of paper are a complete nightmare to burn, though - I made the mistake of shoving them onto a fire in big clumps, once, and when the fire had burned out, there were still loads of chunks of completely unburned paper. I ended up feeding them on in ones and twos, and it was a proper arseache.

 

[moose]

Go mad with one of these on the personal details (surprisingly satisfying!), and put the rest in the bin

Trodat Identity Protection Stamp

 

[maomao]

Rip up/shred and stick on someone's compost heap. People always have too much veg peelings and not enough paper and cardboard to balance it out in compost heaps.

 

[Looby]

We had this problem a while back and will again shortly as we’re going to have a sort out. We used a shredding service and it saved so much time and hassle.

Shredding ourselves took forever because the shredder kept overheating. Burning is rubbish too and lots of the paper will be coated and shouldn’t be burnt.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

I did mine in a £10 lidl incinerator in the back garden in winter. Quite an intense fire.

 

[19sixtysix]

I did mine in a £10 lidl incinerator in the back garden in winter. Quite an intense fire.

They have those in Lidl this week. A small one £7ish

 

[Sea Star]

<deleted> due to lack of fucking interest

 

[Treacle Toes]

Stacks of paper are a complete nightmare to burn, though - I made the mistake of shoving them onto a fire in big clumps, once, and when the fire had burned out, there were still loads of chunks of completely unburned paper. I ended up feeding them on in ones and twos, and it was a proper arseache.

I did mine in a £10 lidl incinerator in the back garden in winter. Quite an intense fire.

Yes.

...and never ever collect so much unnecessary paper copies like this again.

 

[editor]

I did mine in a £10 lidl incinerator in the back garden in winter. Quite an intense fire.

Like the idea but I wish I could put all that stored energy to good use.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

'might'
'back in the day'
'probably'

There is still an incinerator on Teesside - but from what I can tell it doesn't seem to allow them public to drive up and dump stuff like the old one did. I liked going to the incinerator with my dad when I was a kid - lots of noise and I always tried to imagine what the inside of the furnace looked like.

 

[Baronage-Phase]

she was as impervious to my suggestion that she didn't do this as she was to my rather more insistent suggestion that she stopped putting piles of polythene sleeves at the top of the stairs - "but how else will anyone know they need to go downstairs?".

Polypockets?
They're lethal when stood on...and at the top of the stairs you wouldn't have a chance.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Quite surprised you haven't already got rid of paper statements editor
The only thing I've had through the post from my bank in at LEAST the last three years and likely longer is new plastic.

 

[existentialist]

Polypockets?
They're lethal when stood on...and at the top of the stairs you wouldn't have a chance.

Yes, those. I am sure the coincidence of this going on while she badgered me to take out life insurance was entirely that

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Yes, those. I am sure the coincidence of this going on while she badgered me to take out life insurance was entirely that

Did she have any previous husbands, by any chance?

A fiendish plan, although slightly difficult to disguise a lorry from Staples delivering industrial quantities of polypockets.

 

[Chilli.s]

If you run any kind of business then keeping them for 5 years is what you gotta do. For large bulk I go with fire in the garden, shredder for small amounts. Don't recommend fires in flats or balconies.

In the past desperate times tearing up and mixing with rotting food waste and a big bottle of piss in a black bag and left for bin men. Any would be snoop will hopefully move on to less offensively drenched pickings.

 

[Baronage-Phase]

You can always opt for paperless statements once you've recycled the bank statements.

 

[klang]

just be careful not to leave your shreds near Iranian children.
from

to

 

[shakespearegirl]

Soak them in water for a couple of weeks and you have pulp

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Soak them in water for a couple of weeks and you have pulp

only common people do that...

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Like the idea but I wish I could put all that stored energy to good use.

Fry some eggs on top, bake a whole meal. Those things can get crazy hot.

 

[Sea Star]

.

 

[petee]

i shred everyfuckingthing. i have a fellowes which works perfectly after a good decade, but i use small batches in it, about weekly, so this will not speak to your condition.

go with the bonfire. do it on st john's eve for that pagan feel.

 

[Ax^]

punch them in the face with fire