Funniest Chants (or the most offensive chants) you have heard

Discussion in 'football' started by LiamO, Jan 29, 2012.

  1. LiamO

    LiamO Share the love

    Last weekend Arsenal fan's chanted 'Can you taste your brother's cock?' at Ryan Giggs and 'Who's the Scouser in the wig?" at Wayne Rooney. Full marks for invention and delivery.

    What one's have tickled you (even if they also made you wince a bit) over the years? And why?

    I always remember Asa Hartford failing a medical for a big-money transfer (to Leeds?) because they discovered he had a hole in his heart.

    Next time he played he was serenaded with 'There's a hole in your heart, dear Asa, dear Asa'.
    nuffsaid likes this.
  2. Clint Iguana

    Clint Iguana not an undercover cop

    Cardiff City Fans to Brighton and Hove Albion fans ----

    "You only sing when you're rimming" :facepalm:

    editor, stuff_it and LiamO like this.
  3. Mrs Magpie

    Mrs Magpie On a bit of break...

    It's not a chant but I wish I'd been at the Eastbourne Borough vs Burton Albion game some years ago. There was a pre-match announcement over the tannoy...
    "If anyone has a good knowledge of beetles - the insect, not the band - could they please make themselves known to us."
    It could have been my finest hour........
  4. Corax

    Corax Luke 5:16

    I had grudging respect for the gooners' chant for Petit:

    He's blonde, he's quick,
    His name's a porno flick
    Emmanuel, Emmanuel
    hash tag likes this.
  5. DotCommunist

    DotCommunist my world is fire and blood

    I don't follow the footie but I did hear of a chant that stuck with me for sheer offensivenes.

    'sol, sol, wherever you may be
    Your in the grip of lunacy
    And we don't give a fuck if your hanging from a tree
    your a *something* cunt with HIV'

    thats racism, homophobia and mental health bashing all in one short verse. Amazingly cruel.
  6. Athos

    Athos Well-Known Member

    You're a Judas cunt with HIV.

    ETA: Not you, DC - I was completing the 'lyric'.
  7. DotCommunist

    DotCommunist my world is fire and blood

    why the judas bit?
  8. Dan U

    Dan U Boompty

    Cos he left for the enemy
  9. Athos

    Athos Well-Known Member

    He's gonna die,
    He's gonna die,
    Elton John is gonna die,
    Twenty years of HIV,
    Elton John is history.

    Not my proudest moment as a Luton fan.

    Nor, sadly, the most embarrassing - before anyone else says it!
  10. LiamO

    LiamO Share the love

    Cos he left his boyhood club Spurs... on a Bosman... and signed for their arch rivals Arsenal.
  11. Glitter

    Glitter Goddess of rock!

    I quite like 'Evra, you're a cunt' from a lot of the southern clubs. (Arsenal and I think Spurs and Chelsea)

    No idea where it comes from but I appreciate it's simplicity and straight to the point-ness.
  12. Athos

    Athos Well-Known Member

    Becasue he left Tottenham for their bitterest rivals.

    And possibly because Judas is thought to have hanged himself. Though I might be crediting Tottenham fans with a little too much knowledge of the New Testament.
  13. LiamO

    LiamO Share the love

  14. butchersapron

    butchersapron blood on the walls

    That was probably because of his well publicised 'battle with depression' (see the lunacy ref) at the time rather than a reference to racist lynching or biblical stories.
  15. Glitter

    Glitter Goddess of rock!

    Also West Ham at Old Trafford a few years ago. We were dicking them by about four or five and they kept singing 'Lets pretend we've scored a goal', waited a few moments, celebrated like they'd scored then sang 4-1. This carried on until their fake goals were about seven to our five :D
    Me76 and kained&able like this.
  16. Maurice Picarda

    Maurice Picarda Actually, might as well flounce.

    Oh, this again. Two Andy Gorams. Funniest current chant at WHL would probably be the sanitised Abedayor song: his dad's an accountant, and his mum studies law.
    bromley likes this.
  17. Maurice Picarda

    Maurice Picarda Actually, might as well flounce.

    Even a stopped clock. Thank you, SW.
  18. Balbi

    Balbi Hey, Dean Yager!

    I hate to pogo this, but I recall a similar thread from bygone years ending badly due to chant content.
  19. Brixton Hatter

    Brixton Hatter Home is south London mate

    Luton fans at Fulham in about '97/98 (just after Diana & Dodi had died) to Mohammed al Fayed, who was walking round the pitch doing his scarf waving thing:

    He's fat
    He's round
    His son is in the ground
    Al Fayed, Al Fayed
  20. Brixton Hatter

    Brixton Hatter Home is south London mate

    yeah we have done this thread quite a few times before
  21. Athos

    Athos Well-Known Member

    I remember we all sang "We all shop at Tescos" at that game, too. As if he was bothered that Harrods wasn't full of Hatters!
    Brixton Hatter likes this.
  22. LiamO

    LiamO Share the love

    Worst I have ever seen/heard. Not just because of the chants but because of the sheer number of people chanting them.

    Skol Cup SF at Ibrox (Hampden was closed for refurb) early 90's.

    The previous weekend two stories broke.

    1. Richard Gough (Rangers captain) was on the front page of the Mail with his new (previously unheard of) wife, with the headline 'Wed In Secret'. At the time Glasgow was buzzing with (totally unfounded AFAIK) rumours about Gough, rent boys and a Masonic cover-up.

    2. The actor who played Wee Burnie on Rab C Nesbitt was convicted of possession of loads of kiddie porn videos.

    On the night, every Celtic bus was plastered with photocopies of the 'Wed In Secret' front page - but with Burnies head superimposed on the bride's body.

    Chants on the night included many renditions of 'Richard Gough's on Burnie's videos' and

    He's gay
    He's vile
    He's a fuckin paedophile
    Richard Gough, Richard Gough!

    Enough to put anyone off their game, you would think. Not Gough. He never had a finer 90 minutes for rangers.

    The cunt.
  23. Athos

    Athos Well-Known Member

    Yes. It was a joke about Tottenham fans and the New Testament.
  24. LiamO

    LiamO Share the love

    so feel free not to play.
  25. LiamO

    LiamO Share the love

    Happy to say I got that first time. Well witty too.
  26. Maurice Picarda

    Maurice Picarda Actually, might as well flounce.

    Boom. Tish.
  27. Athos

    Athos Well-Known Member

    I thank you. I'm here all week.
  28. Brixton Hatter

    Brixton Hatter Home is south London mate

    And (also to al Fayed at the same game): "You'll never get a passport"
  29. Athos

    Athos Well-Known Member

    My mate took his to wave at Al Fayed. Then reconsidered, as he thought it might be borderline racist!
    Brixton Hatter likes this.
  30. Corax

    Corax Luke 5:16

    I didn't. But I'm now outraged at the flagrant anti-semitism.

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