flat pack furniture grr

[WouldBe]

Does it help to use that plastic nail guide thingy?

What's one of them?

 

[Hi-ASL]

It's a white plastic thing with a gap that you fit the nail - or panel pin, actually, to give it its technical term - into. You fit it against the edge and, hey presto, it automatically holds the nail the right distance from the edge whilst you triumphantly hammer it in.

I always throw it away as soon as I've opened the box. Seems a complete waste of time to me.

Exactly how do you get those little nails to go in straight without chipping splinters off the front, right left and centre? I never can get that bit right.

 

[_angel_]

To be fair to anyone who has struggled with the unrelenting evil that is the dreaded flat pack furniture, I reckon that the designers are specially recruited for their evil and twisted sense of humour.

First, they design the stuff in such a way that it's practically impossible to assemble, at least in a manner which looks anything like the picture on the box and not some Turner Prize-winning piece of modern art, anyway.

Then, after struggling blindly, and swearing and cursing your way to a massive stomach ulcer and/or coronary thrombosis, you find, at the bottom of the box and beneath all the pieces, naturally, the instructions.

Having already worked yourself into an almighty frenzy of rage, you then calm down and lower your defences to the point where you're thinking you might get the bloody thing built at some point before darkness falls.

AND THE INSTRUCTIONS ARE IN FUCKING GERMAN!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

mad:

One hour and a quarter last night we got two pieces screwed together and are on diagram '2' out of about 12.


Can Vintage Paw nip round here sometime?

It's raining now so I can legitimately ignore it for the time being.

 

[dodgepot]

I've never understood this attitude to flat-pack... They really couldn't make it any simpler than it already is.

same here. every bit of flat pack furniture that i've had to assemble has been a piece of piss, really.

and i've never had a problem putting up a deckchair, either, just for the record.

 

[Vintage Paw]

One hour and a quarter last night we got two pieces screwed together and are on diagram '2' out of about 12.


Can Vintage Paw nip round here sometime?

It's raining now so I can legitimately ignore it for the time being.

If you happen to live in Stoke I'll be around in ten

 

[_angel_]

same here. every bit of flat pack furniture that i've had to assemble has been a piece of piss, really.

and i've never had a problem putting up a deckchair, either, just for the record.

You say that now but you don't have the 26 piece garden chair, the 10,000 piece practical joke 'trampoline' a big paddling pool to assemble and a broken child's bed that wouldn't slot into place like it said it would.


I hate flatpack.

 

[Gromit]

A world without flatpack is a world where I wouldn't be able to afford much furniture.

It keeps prices low by enabling greater storage for companies and reducing transportation costs (more items per van). Not to mention it just comes of a mass production line without the extra cost of employing people to assemble it at the factory.

Also allows you to get furniture in the house without having to remove windows to fit it through. Assembled it would never get through that door, in bits it does.

All in all flatpack rules. Its not the furniture world's fault that some people have no basic construction skills. Perhaps they should teach mechano and lego at school to equip them for the inevitable day they buy something flatpacked?

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

Serendipity. I spent about 4 hours putting together 2 cd racks and a geo-cube thing yesterday afternoon. Managed to keep my temper (mostly), finally managed to decipher the appalling instructions and the idiotic drawings, only to discover i'd put 2 of the shelves on cd unit upside down so you could see the fasteners, i'd also put one fixed shelf in at the wrong height so you couldn't fit any cds in it

After having a bath to relax myself, i got out and decided to take it apart to rectify the fault cos it was annoying me standing there all unsymmetric. Got the nailed-on back off, put it on the floor, went to take the top off and forget about the nails standing upright in the rack-back and stood on a nail, straight into my heel - but i did get the shelves put back together properly now i ache all up my legs and back and my foot still hurts....

 

[_angel_]

A world without flatpack is a world where I wouldn't be able to afford much furniture.

It keeps prices low by enabling greater storage for companies and reducing transportation costs (more items per van). Not to mention it just comes of a mass production line without the extra cost of employing people to assemble it at the factory.

Also allows you to get furniture in the house without having to remove windows to fit it through. Assembled it would never get through that door, in bits it does.

All in all flatpack rules. Its not the furniture world's fault that some people have no basic construction skills. Perhaps they should teach mechano and lego at school to equip them for the inevitable day they buy something flatpacked?

I disagree. Stuff like double beds need to come in bits but these items are smaller and so why should you?

It's really so they can pile it high and sell it cheap. Also, a bit of a bummer if you live on your own and are a little old lady with no one to help you assemble.

Not everyone lives in pairs.

Not everyone's OH is gifted at DIY.


(He'll kill me)

 

[Cid]

Serendipity. I spent about 4 hours putting together 2 cd racks and a geo-cube thing yesterday afternoon. Managed to keep my temper (mostly), finally managed to decipher the appalling instructions and the idiotic drawings, only to discover i'd put 2 of the shelves on cd unit upside down so you could see the fasteners, i'd also put one fixed shelf in at the wrong height so you couldn't fit any cds in it

After having a bath to relax myself, i got out and decided to take it apart to rectify the fault cos it was annoying me standing there all unsymmetric. Got the nailed-on back off, put it on the floor, went to take the top off and forget about the nails standing upright in the rack-back and stood on a nail, straight into my heel - but i did get the shelves put back together properly now i ache all up my legs and back and my foot still hurts....

Er... the foot isn't swelling is it?

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

Er... the foot isn't swelling is it?

Throbbing a bit. I sterilised after and my mum and ma-in-law have both told me i need to go get a tetanus next week.

 

[Cid]

I disagree. Stuff like double beds need to come in bits but these items are smaller and so why should you?

It's really so they can pile it high and sell it cheap. Also, a bit of a bummer if you live on your own and are a little old lady with no one to help you assemble.

Not everyone lives in pairs.

Not everyone's OH is gifted at DIY.


(He'll kill me)

You don't have to buy flatpack, you'll just pay more if you don't. And that's basic economics. Anyway, doesn't matter how small the item is, flatpacking it and cutting down on labour will reduce the price.

 

[_angel_]

You don't have to buy flatpack, you'll just pay more if you don't. And that's basic economics. Anyway, doesn't matter how small the item is, flatpacking it and cutting down on labour will reduce the price.

They don't often tell you the items flat packed to be honest.

 

[Cid]

Throbbing a bit. I sterilised after and my mum and ma-in-law have both told me i need to go get a tetanus next week.

Probably all right then, careful though - if it starts to feel hot, has red streaks or pus then get thee to a doctor pronto.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

its very wasteful how much packaging you've got to get rid of aterwards. we've had 4 bing bags of white polystyrene packing, as well as a bundle of think cardboard about 2' by 3' by 6inches. crazy.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

Probably all right then, careful though - if it starts to feel hot, has red streaks or pus then get thee to a doctor pronto.

Doesn't look like that atm, just throbbing but will keep a close eye. Thanx

 

[Cid]

its very wasteful how much packaging you've got to get rid of aterwards. we've had 4 bing bags of white polystyrene packing, as well as a bundle of think cardboard about 2' by 3' by 6inches. crazy.

It's probably no more than they'd use in pre-assembled stuff though, and you're saving on transport costs by being able to pack far more into a lorry.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

It's probably no more than they'd use in pre-assembled stuff though, and you're saving on transport costs by being able to pack far more into a lorry.

Suppose so. Still feels like a lot. I'm used to s/h furniture, used to deliver it as well as buy it, so that didn't come with packaging at all. Now the missus has got posh pretensions, we have to buy new.

 

[Gromit]

I disagree. Stuff like double beds need to come in bits but these items are smaller and so why should you?

It's really so they can pile it high and sell it cheap.

The squeezing through doors bit was obviously about larger items duh!

You just answered your own question which was a massive waste of time as i'd alreeady said that.

But hey if you want to pay £400 for something that comes pre-assembled cause you don't want to put together a £100 flatpack thats upto you.

But cheap piled high furniture is good if flat packing is what makes it cheap and it is. Plus it helps save the environment doing so.
Less space on a van = more trips = bigger carbon footprints.

Just stay away from Ikea, MFI, Argos, any big mass produced furniture store (never surprised its flat packed, its what you would expect) and go to expensive hand crafted places if you hate cheap furniture that much.

 

[_angel_]

The squeezing through doors bit was obviously about larger items duh!

You just answered your own question which was a massive waste of time as i'd alreeady said that.

But hey if you want to pay £400 for something that comes pre-assembled cause you don't want to put together a £100 flatpack thats upto you.

But cheap piled high furniture is good if flat packing is what makes it cheap and it is. Plus it helps save the environment doing so.
Less space on a van = more trips = bigger carbon footprints.

Just stay away from Ikea, MFI, Argos, any big mass produced furniture store (never surprised its flat packed, its what you would expect) and go to expensive hand crafted places if you hate cheap furniture that much.

I'd just pay a bit extra to have them assemble it. I'm amazed the likes of argos, ikea haven't cottoned on to that, yet.

 

[1927]

I've never understood this attitude to flat-pack... They really couldn't make it any simpler than it already is. All you need to do is follow the simple cartoon-like instructions, go slow and steady, make sure you're doing it right. It really is easy.

This!

 

[Gromit]

I'd just pay a bit extra to have them assemble it. I'm amazed the likes of argos, ikea haven't cottoned on to that, yet.

MFI, B&Q etc. will assemble your flatpack kitchen for you. They only wanted to charge me a mere £1800. So they do have in-house carpenters but they like to do the big jobs they can cream you for.

£1800!

I got a local chippy to help out for £500.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

I'd just pay a bit extra to have them assemble it. I'm amazed the likes of argos, ikea haven't cottoned on to that, yet.

maybe that's what you should ask to do when dwp make you sign on for jsa soon. tell them you want to start a flat-pack furtniture installation service? although that would mean dealing with the fecking stuff all the time

 

[Gromit]

I've never understood this attitude to flat-pack... They really couldn't make it any simpler than it already is. All you need to do is follow the simple cartoon-like instructions, go slow and steady, make sure you're doing it right. It really is easy.

I don't know where they are getting their stuff from but I get most of mine from Ikea but not only is it really simple to put together and the instructions straight forward its engineered so well it goes together like a dream.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

This!

execpt when the bleeding instructions are wrong

the cd racks had no words, just pictures in a randomly ordered bunch of papers, as well as no instruction as to where the middle, fixed, cd shelf should be screwed in. hence me doing a best guess and getting it completely wrong which is why i had to deconstruct and then reconstruct and why i've got a throbbing hole in my heel.

i hate flat-pack furniture too i've decided. and i've got a deck stand coming on tuesday which is, you guessed it, flat packed *gulp*

 

[_angel_]

maybe that's what you should ask to do when dwp make you sign on for jsa soon. tell them you want to start a flat-pack furtniture installation service? although that would mean dealing with the fecking stuff all the time

I won't be signing on to JSA anytime soon.

Having to assemble flat pack furniture sounds like my idea of hell.

What happened to written directions? What's with all these strange cartoons that bear no relation to thing you're assembling??

 

[Hi-ASL]

I don't know where they are getting their stuff from but I get most of mine from Ikea but not only is it really simple to put together and the instructions straight forward its engineered so well it goes together like a dream.

Ditto B&Q. They're getting it from Argos probably. Their stuff's normally pretty shoddy.

 

[Hi-ASL]

What happened to written directions? What's with all these strange cartoons that bear no relation to thing you're assembling??

It makes everything more fun. You don't like jigsaws? If it goes wrong you can always enter it for the Turner Prize. It will almost certainly win.

 

[_angel_]

It makes everything more fun. You don't like jigsaws? If it goes wrong you can always enter it for the Turner Prize. It will almost certainly win.

My sons bed is a right turner prize. (That was another pictures only thing) Tbh I think it was the parts supplied that were faulty.

The first trampoline was also faulty.

 

[Bakunin]

My sons bed is a right turner prize. (That was another pictures only thing) Tbh I think it was the parts supplied that were faulty.

The first trampoline was also faulty.

Ah, the perennial excuse of the constructively challenged.

That should be the slogan on all this sort of stuff.

'Flat Pack: It's Not For Girls.'