First line of your novel?

[Mation]

Pronounced like orchid?

Anyway, you're derailing your own thread.

So you think my idea is worth expanding on? Lbj's made my eyes bleed tbh. Does he know about paragraphs and stuff yet?

You have hypocrititis of the retina. It's very serious. Amputation should do it. They just leave the front half on. It's fine.

Yes, expand on yours. It could be like Wonderland Avenue.

*hopes no faux pas*

 

[albionism]

"As M opened his front door in his underpants, or should i say my underpants,
i was immediately overcome by the stench of overcooked cabbage"

 

[El Sueno]

"Rufus wasn't a real doctor"

 

[ericjarvis]

I don't care what they say about me, I was right. And now they're all dead so I guess I win the argument by default.

I'd read on from that. Get on and write the blighter.

 

[Woollyredhat]

A drop hit my head as I contemplated the hellwhole I lived in; as I looked up to find the source of the unappealing drip, I saw the gaping mouth of my obnoxious wife.. it was time to run.

 

[Edie]

Mine would be -

We lived behind Desolation Row

Write the rest!

 

[likesfish]

Tony blair's head exploded as the glazier slugs hit home.

 

[bmd]

Write the rest!

I'm thinking about it, horrible Mation nearly put me off with her quip about Wonderland Avenue, which is shit. But thanks, it could well be back on cos of you.

 

[Superdupastupor]

The guacamole was rapidly browning, my lovingly crafted relish transforming into effluent before my eyes, and I asked myself for the hundredth time that day "Why oh why dont tescos stock a basic range of preservatives, additives and honest-to-goodness MSG.??"

hmm rusty grammar?

 

[littlebabyjesus]

aces. Very complete.

Reads a bit awkwardly a day later. Needs work.

note to self: never bash out paragraphs and chuck them straight onto the internet

 

[Mation]

I'm thinking about it, horrible Mation nearly put me off with her quip about Wonderland Avenue, which is shit. But thanks, it could well be back on cos of you.

I was going to add 'only better'

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

He paused as the burning Atroyd ships and endless lazergun fire blasted overhead, taking a swig from his bottle of mephylated hydrasti and resting his gun on the edge of one of the rusty old radiators which lined the trench.

 

[DotCommunist]

He paused as the burning Atroyd ships and endless lazergun fire blasted overhead, taking a swig from his bottle of mephylated hydrasti and resting his gun on the edge of one of the rusty old radiators which lined the trench.

like this. follow up.

Exercise became excision pretty fucking sharply. Then excision became attrition and dosage time. Hard to pinpoint where and when, but a railgun slug making pink mist and brief screams of Comms and Tac officers in two brief moments is a good place to start.

 

[Hocus Eye.]

He awoke looked through the gap at the edge of the curtain to see what the weather was doing. It was grey and dry. This was such a shock. It must be the end of the world. It was. The End.

 

[F_Burnside]

If it hadn't been for the exaggerated and protracted shrieks of carnal lust, I could have been forgiven for believing that the noise emanating from the room above me was a hyperactive kid bouncing around on a squeaking pogo stick while whacked out on E numbers and the excitement of the coming of Christmas.

 

[maldwyn]

Last night I dreamt I went to Dalston again

 

[mentalchik]

I surveyed my work with a warm feeling of satisfaction. Oh yes, the fuckers will never forget me now, oh no, not ever again and my laughter filled the room and the sun pierced my eyelids and everything crimson.....


I licked my lips, the taste of death on my tongue.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

As the chancellor spoke, my incandessant rage at his arrogance and false sense of superiority boiled over until I could take it no more.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

I stretched and reached over for the heavy white box at the side of my bed which I knew was the only thing preventing our civilisation from falling into the abyss.

 

[EastEnder]

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

Gazing at the crinkled, well-worn map with 'Here be dragons' marked in the top right hand corner' and a large red x in the bottom right one, the alien scrunched it up with a sigh and tossed it into the drawer marked 'evidence of peculiar 20th century earthling culture.

 

[EastEnder]

Jamie Oliver's severed head rolled down the aisle before coming to rest at the foot of the 5 items or less queue.

 

[1927]

His declaration of ignorance displayed a certain arrogance that I found hard to explain in one of such limited ability.

 

[Diamond]

Another winter’s day drew to a close and the lights outside the library window bathed the square in an orange glow.

 

[camouflage]

Vast, and alien, and dark and ancient; a silent place, and my home.

 

[fubert]

Today it seems to me providential that Fate should have chosen Scotland as my birthplace.

 

[rich!]

The wind from the opened door blew out the last fire on Earth. "Oh fuck, it's Dave again."

 

[izz]

I know my father didn’t want a family. I don’t know my mother’s views on the matter but I do know that she was pregnant practically before she got out of the church.

 

[Fictionist]

I realised I had a problem when I awoke and realised that the warm mouth around my tumescent love apparatus belonged to my mother in law.

 

[SpookyFrank]

I remember the day we first knew just how badly it had all gone wrong. Perhaps it was something in the air, or perhaps it was something in the faces of the strangers we passed in the street. It could equally have been the chunks of white hot radioactive metal perodically tumbling from the sky, obliterating cars and buildings wherever they landed; or the moment that Satan himself rose from a great rent in the Earth's crust and stormed into the local Jobcentre Plus, trailing streams of flame and ash and muttering darkly about how he'd just been made redundant.