Stobart Stopper
Well-Known Member
Are you on drugs tonight?
Fatal road crash story scenario questions
- Thread starter Badger Kitten
- Start date
Are you on drugs tonight?
Mrs Magpie
On a bit of break...
OK. So bosky is saying that it's unacceptable to use any subject that may distress people in fiction again......does the word 'dead' offend? Perhap s/he wants a world of saccharine euphemism.....
Mrs Magpie
On a bit of break...
Just read back...sudden switch from bosky's usual 'fat old hag' line in insults to self-consciously masturbatory blokey only with-a-dick stuff cheers! Best laugh I've had all week...and so predictable!btw BK, I can maybe get a couple of answers tomorrow at work...if so, I'll post 'em up....
agricola
a genuine importer of owls
I think there isnt a drug that can cause someone to behave as bizarrely as bosky has here.
madzone
Physically unfavourable
Any thread could potentially upset someone - should we all refrain from starting threads? Surely it's all to do with intent? BK is asking a serious question and IMO she's asking it with some sensitivity. The thread is clearly titled so if it's an issue that someone may get upset by it's easily avoided.
Why do you feel the need to defend such irrational and unpleasant behaviour?
madamv
Oi! With the poodle already
cesare said:
Neither does the first line of this quote.... There are ways of saying things that dont have to sound rude or challenging..
Louloubelle
Well-Known Member
I'm sure I've seen a few of his photos of decomposing animals
He obviously feels inspired by death in some way himself to take those photos (they were quite good), but it's interesting that he gets so very excited and rude when someone wants to write about the subject
What can it all be about?
Eta. I'm surprised by how mystified people are by bosky's outburst. This in not a one off thing is it? he's our very own mr angry when he gets going and I don't think rationality has anything to do with it
cesare
shady's dreams ♥
Any thread could potentially upset someone - should we all refrain from starting threads? Surely it's all to do with intent? BK is asking a serious question and IMO she's asking it with some sensitivity. The thread is clearly titled so if it's an issue that someone may get upset by it's easily avoided.
Why do you feel the need to defend such irrational and unpleasant behaviour?
I don't agree. There are lots of threads asking questions such as 'what wedding favours?' (by way of example only) where the likelihood of truly upsetting someone is slim.
Not everything's to do with intent. The recipient decides too. It's possible for well intentioned but potentially upsetting threads - to upset people. BK knows this, otherwise she wouldn't have made the point in her OP about trying to deal with it sensitively.
So BK knew this when she posted. She may not have anticipated the strength of feeling or how it would be expressed, but she knew that it was a possibility.
Knowing that - anticipating that in her OP - there's surely no surprises when one or two people do react in an upset fashion. If people are upset, they don't always choose their words carefully.
This is a thread asking about information relating to violent and untimely death for the purposes of a storyline. There's nothing inherently wrong in asking - but there's a lot inherently wrong in getting fucking uppity if people reading it get upset.
madzone
Physically unfavourable
Maybe people wouldn't be getting 'uppity'* if the upset was expressed coherently and intelligently instead of just an outpouring of bile.
* I don't see anyone getting uppity - I see people questioning why someone is so uneccessarily aggressive
mauvais
on reddit or something
Rolf sez you're a bunch of fuckin loonies and he's instructed all the goats to not give you one bit of advice when your cam belt goes and you can't figure out what's wrong cos the only Haynes manual you've ever seen is for a 1976 Ford Cortina Mark IV and that's not what you're looking at right now. Oh I wonder if there's a nearby farm that could help us at least get to Aber not fucking likely sunshine you can bang on that door all you like but all you'll get is the faint sound of giggling from somewhere nearby and when you can't quite place it you won't half feel silly stood in the rain wondering if you've gone a bit dim and wasn't it just easier when all you had to do was photocopy stuff for Mr. Brown fuckin ell I hope we don't wind up like in that film Deliverance.
agricola
a genuine importer of owls
Exactly.
cesare
shady's dreams ♥
I don't perceive Bosky as being unnecessarily aggressive here. My perception is that he suggested BK do her own research by way of library and then when pushed explained that he'd seen a lot of RTAs by way of the dry walls that BK described in her OP.
And just because none of your nearest and dearest have come to grief (yet) by way of an RTA on one of the dry walls surrounding you (FFS) doesn't mean that Bosky hasn't either experienced it or can imagine it. So he might well be upset.
As might you be if one of your kids was killed in the scenario that BK posted, then volunteering information to help her homework whilst reliving the incident while you do it.
Maybe he just has a higher degree of empathy for those who posted to help BK with her storyline.
Badger Kitten
oof
Interestingly, nobody on this thread who has contributed, or PM -d me, who has personally experienced the violent or sudden death of a friend or loved one has expressed reservations at all about the thread, despite the technicalities of bureaucracy following sudden death being a subject most people don't want to think about, (not surprising). Obviously if what I have posted has upset anyone, I am truly sorry.
If the question is whether I am upset about certain specific negative reactions to my request for specific info - nope, not really. Sorry if that disappoints the stirrers.
As to the 'strength of feeling' of the naysayers, TBH I would be surprised if there was any actual real strength of feeling to be found at all. Because you could have fooled me. Or maybe I'm just too cynical these days.
FWIW, thanks again to everyone who was dead helpful. I hope next fortnight's homework involves researching kittens and how to make sultana flapjacks, it'll be a damn sight easier.
If the question is whether I am upset about certain specific negative reactions to my request for specific info - nope, not really. Sorry if that disappoints the stirrers.
As to the 'strength of feeling' of the naysayers, TBH I would be surprised if there was any actual real strength of feeling to be found at all. Because you could have fooled me. Or maybe I'm just too cynical these days.
FWIW, thanks again to everyone who was dead helpful. I hope next fortnight's homework involves researching kittens and how to make sultana flapjacks, it'll be a damn sight easier.
mauvais
on reddit or something
I've got some reservations about my contributions cos they're a massive load of turgid horse shite tbh but I'm going to make em into a novel anyway generating sixteen quid in profit then get immediately done for libel by some antipodean legal ponce with four different bits in his name 
Badger Kitten
oof
That'll be £16 in profit more than
me then.
me then.Wintermute
easy tiger
You're very much in a minority.
agricola
a genuine importer of owls
No offence, but this and the rest of your post is nonsense - bosky was just being pointlessly rude, and one wonders why you are trying to defend bosky thus.
I dont think anyone who had lost someone close to them, or anyone who had experienced a fatal road traffic accident (speaking as someone who has) would be bothered by someone asking questions about how they are dealt with in the way that BK has. Its not as if she was going on about how all car drivers are evil and therefore deserve it, she was asking very simple, very neutral questions which the vast majority of posters have tried to answer, with one person being very snide to her, and then being rude to the nicest mod on the forum.
the button
out on the kocker
How would you know this? Maybe some posters choose to keep their personal experiences to themselves, but nonetheless have reservations which they've expressed. Unless by "contributed" you mean "said nice things" or "answered my questions."
Did everyone reply to your PMs soliciting further information, btw? I know I didn't.
cesare
shady's dreams ♥
You PMd me and I didn't reply.
Yes - I've experienced the violent and sudden death of a loved one. You wanted information, I gave what I could. I hope you found it useful.
You escaped from the same train that my friend and colleague of 4½ years died on - you survived. Bosky has had friends dying from the same scenario you described in your OP. For some of us (including you) this stuff runs close to the surface and we remain upset as I'm sure you do. You know what grief and anger does to us.
Cut some slack and get off your high horse - there are other people grieving aside from you and if you choose to bring these things to the surface by way of a thread in General - what else can you expect?
the button
out on the kocker
Ah right. Not just me then.
Badger Kitten
oof
Thank you for the information you gave, cesare , and the spirit in which you gave it. I thank you here publicly as I thank you privately. I hope that is ok with you?
I also PM-d 'the button' asking if I had ever met him or come across him, since I was surprised by his posts...
and
I#
As to whether this thread deliberately upset people, any more than the BBC reports each day of sudden death upset them, or me, or you, or anyone else, I honestly can say only this: it was quite clearly not designed to upset people, being about technical questions related to sudden death for fictional purposes with the author keen to be as sensitive as possible for her own reasons. Bosky, rather than saying he was upset, and why, because of personal experiences I could not have known about launched into an unprovoked attack, which I did not respond to. I have seen many nasty attacks on u75 recently, and it struck me as interesting, that the people who had experienced sudden death acted as I & my family and friends had done this last six months: helped and shared without attacking.
I dare say that some reading and lurking the thread I started may have been upset and not told me, but all I can go on is the spirit in which I wrote the thread, and the answers I have seen.
I have not seen, for example, people on u75 angry with drugs thread posters asking for drugs advice, because their loved ones died because of drug use. Perhaps people read it all the time and are terribly upset, but I don't know. And yet they have have decided to say nothing until now, in public or private,. in case it upsets a lurking poster who cant read the #drugs forum' title..
I'm not psychic you know. Is anyone? Should I never mention anything, ever, to anyone
I have to go now so apols if there are mistakes, but need to get offline and won't be online til tomorrow
I also PM-d 'the button' asking if I had ever met him or come across him, since I was surprised by his posts...
and
I#
As to whether this thread deliberately upset people, any more than the BBC reports each day of sudden death upset them, or me, or you, or anyone else, I honestly can say only this: it was quite clearly not designed to upset people, being about technical questions related to sudden death for fictional purposes with the author keen to be as sensitive as possible for her own reasons. Bosky, rather than saying he was upset, and why, because of personal experiences I could not have known about launched into an unprovoked attack, which I did not respond to. I have seen many nasty attacks on u75 recently, and it struck me as interesting, that the people who had experienced sudden death acted as I & my family and friends had done this last six months: helped and shared without attacking.
I dare say that some reading and lurking the thread I started may have been upset and not told me, but all I can go on is the spirit in which I wrote the thread, and the answers I have seen.
I have not seen, for example, people on u75 angry with drugs thread posters asking for drugs advice, because their loved ones died because of drug use. Perhaps people read it all the time and are terribly upset, but I don't know. And yet they have have decided to say nothing until now, in public or private,. in case it upsets a lurking poster who cant read the #drugs forum' title..
I'm not psychic you know. Is anyone? Should I never mention anything, ever, to anyone
I have to go now so apols if there are mistakes, but need to get offline and won't be online til tomorrow
cesare
shady's dreams ♥
Hey hey BK
Lots of upset people in this world and not all of them/us express them/ourselves in the best way possible.
That's what grief and anger does.
There's no harm on this thread, all you're seeing is either information or emotion or both.
Time for bed as Zebedee would have said
Hector would have some words of wisdom too I reckon, but he's conspicuous by his absence
Lots of upset people in this world and not all of them/us express them/ourselves in the best way possible.
That's what grief and anger does.
There's no harm on this thread, all you're seeing is either information or emotion or both.
Time for bed as Zebedee would have said
Hector would have some words of wisdom too I reckon, but he's conspicuous by his absence
the button
out on the kocker
Once again, how could you know this? Unless the people who didn't "help & share" (leaving aside the prayer-group connotations of the notion of "sharing" for a moment) weren't being affected by a sudden death in the appropriate fashion, obviously.
Christ, fancy being upset and not telling you. What a set of bastards, eh?
Badger Kitten
oof
I tell you what, ''the button''. I have tried to engage with you, perfectly politely person to person, privately,and publicly, never having met you, or engaged with you on the boards, knowing nothing about you apart from words on a screen, and you won't even bother to be polite enough to respond,
so you want to tell me why I should keep trying, or caring, hey?
so you want to tell me why I should keep trying, or caring, hey?
the button
out on the kocker
You tell me, just over half an hour after you said you were calling it a night. Personal vanity would suggest that I've touched a nerve, but I don't flatter myself to that extent.
the button
out on the kocker
Aaaaaanyway. Bedtime for button now. Sleep well.
agricola
a genuine importer of owls
Well done, by being an arse you have managed to annoy someone. Have a gold star.
Agent Sparrow
AGENT TRAITOR; fools 8 year olds
If we never posted about anything which could upset some of the urban population for any sort of personal gain (albiet if that personal gain is getting a popular thread or a good discussion), then there would be a huge limit to what anyone could post on urban. Perhaps I can see how some people might see an information query as more self serving than the above reasons, but I just see it as someone wanting to get their facts as right as can be for a non profitable story; which isn't that bad a thing, surely?
