Expectations of guests

[zenie]

Plus it's usually me doing the entertaining, as we rarely get invited back.

I'd take it as a compliment, you're a good cook, people are probably scared it won't live up to yours

 

[Orang Utan]

But surely they're your guests? So you feed and water them?

No, I feed them. Guests bring booze - this is unspoken though

 

[Orang Utan]

Maybe there's a difference then between having people round for food (which I'd consider guests) and having a dinner party.

I don't think there is?

 

[teuchter]

I'd expect them to bring a bottle of wine or something but wouldn't be bothered if they didn't.

Mainly because I don't really drink wine, so it would be their loss and not mine.

 

[Cloo]

I do expect people to bring wine, especially as most of the people I know drink quite a lot. Plus it's usually me doing the entertaining, as we rarely get invited back.

Ah, that's an option I forgot - being invited in return. I don't think I'd really notice if someone didn't offer, but I feel it's nice to do so.

 

[Biddlybee]

I don't think there is?

Well then where's the differnce coming from? I don't expect people to bring anything but themselves if they come round for tea.

 

[quimcunx]

Mainly because I don't really drink wine, so it would be their loss and not mine.

Exactly!

I don't want wine bottles using up fridge space for months afterwards, either.

 

[zenie]

Well then where's the differnce coming from? I don't expect people to bring anything but themselves if they come round for tea.

and me.

You and me would end up pissed everytime otherwise!

At least this thread tells us whose house to go round

 

[Orang Utan]

Well then where's the differnce coming from? I don't expect people to bring anything but themselves if they come round for tea.

I dunno - when I cook for people, they always end up being boozy affairs - I spend a lot of money on the food, so I couldn't afford to get everyone pissed on top of that

 

[Ms T]

Ah, that's an option I forgot - being invited in return. I don't think I'd really notice if someone didn't offer, but I feel it's nice to do so.

I notice when I've invited someone half a dozen times and never been invited back in return.

 

[Ms T]

Well then where's the differnce coming from? I don't expect people to bring anything but themselves if they come round for tea.

Don't you always take a bottle when you go to someone's house for food though? I know I do....

 

[Biddlybee]

Don't you always take a bottle when you go to someone's house for food though? I know I do....

Sometimes... but doesn't mean I expect people to bring anything when they come to mine.

 

[teuchter]

Exactly!

I don't want wine bottles using up fridge space for months afterwards, either.

They are useful for taking to other people's houses when you are invited there for dinner at a later date, though.


If I'm going to someone else's house, I sometimes take wine but sometimes I take ice cream or something desert-ish instead. That usually goes down well as long as it's an informal kind of thing where they aren't likely to have made desert specially themselves. And the profit/loss equation works more in my favour than it would if I took wine, due to aforementioned reasons.

 

[Belushi]

I dont go anywhere without turning up with a bottle, usually two as I do tend to drink a lot.

 

[quimcunx]

They are useful for taking to other people's houses when you are invited there for dinner at a later date, though.

True but I'd probably forget.

If I'm going to someone else's house, I sometimes take wine but sometimes I take ice cream or something desert-ish instead. That usually goes down well as long as it's an informal kind of thing where they aren't likely to have made dessert specially themselves. And the profit/loss equation works more in my favour than it would if I took wine, due to aforementioned reasons.

Yes. profit/loss equation. quite right.

At first I thought good idea. However, you would have to make sure it was a dessert and not chocolates to encourage them to eat them while you're there. I've been caught out like that before... Also it wouldn't necessarily work for me as they might give me a tiny tiny bit of it and leave the rest in view uneaten, calling to me, while I resist shouting ''Well give me some more of the bloody cake then you miserly git, I paid for it after all! ''

 

[moose]

I expect guest to bring a few laughs and some quality conversation, nothing else.

 

[Orang Utan]

You need booze though.

 

[Belushi]

Innit I reckon Im only tolerable to people after they've had a few drinks

 

[moose]

If I'm hosting, I'm happy to provide that, particularly as I usually consume more than anyone else, and I buy in bulk

 

[Orang Utan]

But say 10 guests = 20+ bottles of wine and god knows what else - no way could I afford that. I'd get a few bottles in, but the bulk of it would have to be carried by the guests.

 

[Herbsman.]

If they're my guests then that means I invited them, so why should they have to do anything? I only expect them to bring their own booze, cos that's expensive and I don't know what they feel like drinking

 

[littlebabyjesus]

If I'm going around to someone's I will invariably take something.

But if I've invited someone round, I expect absolutely nothing. For me, the rules of hospitality are simple – you share what you have with whomever is there and expect nothing in return. Anything that is brought round is graciously accepted, but I think it is rude to invite someone round and expect them to bring something unless you have specified explicitly that they should.

 

[Santino]

I think some people are perhaps confusing two senses of 'expecting'.

Expecting (1), to anticipate on the basis of previous experience or other knowledge

and

Expecting (2), to consider reasonable or proper according to a tacit or explicit contract

 

[bluestreak]

Show up, entertain me, not soil themselves on the couch. beyond that, it's all good.

 

[Orang Utan]

I think some people are perhaps confusing two senses of 'expecting'.

Expecting (1), to anticipate on the basis of previous experience or other knowledge

and

Expecting (2), to consider reasonable or proper according to a tacit or explicit contract

Yes, you're right - I mean it in the first sense.

 

[Relahni]

i expect guests to feel at home, that is all. sometimes this means them buynig some toilet roll one the way to mine, other times it means them getting changed into their pyjamas, but mostly it just means being comfy

basically just bring themselves, but if they want to brign nibbles and booze thats good too.

yeah, toilet roll or other groceries that we haven't got.

I don't expect anything - their mere presence is enough for me!

 

[seeformiles]

I always bring enough booze for myself and half of that again in case anyone's short. If people come over I always ask them to bring a bottle but always have shedloads of homebrew in to plug any gaps.

 

[Mation]

It's good if people bring stuff cos then there's MOAR, but I'll generally try to get enough, wine (and sometimes drugs) in so that we don't run out and I certainly don't require anyone else to bring any, nor any food. I'll take a bottle or two (and sometimes drugs) round to other people's...

I hate it when people want to clean up/wash up at mine (you're a guest - relax!) but have been told off in the past for making people feel uncomfortable because they can't help and are being treated like guests

I don't particularly want to help out at other people's - I'm a guest ffs

I don't really mind though!

 

[spanglechick]

Plus it's usually me doing the entertaining, as we rarely get invited back.

I notice when I've invited someone half a dozen times and never been invited back in return.

Hmm - I feel bad about this. We never have people round - partly cos it's stig-of-the-dumpsville, but also cos our place is teeny weeny.

 

[Orang Utan]

Hmm - I feel bad about this. We never have people round - partly cos it's stig-of-the-dumpsville, but also cos our place is teeny weeny.

This is one of the reasons I haven't had people round in yonks