Euphemisms in school reports

[AnnO'Neemus]

A girl I travelled/taught in India with was like that. She got 5 As at A level at a really rough school in Hull, while doing no work whatsoever...

It did help to be Aspie and have an almost photographic memory!

 

[LilMissHissyFit]

The best comment my son ever recieved was "enjoys the social side of school a little too enthusiastically"

she should just have written Class clown, we all knew he was pissing about constantly to hide everything he couldnt do

 

[electrogirl]

= totally disrupts everything I do, for God's sake please get me out before I have a breakdown!

No way I wasn't that bad! I was just mildly irritating. Got sent out for singing once. An Eternal song if you'd like to know.

 

[Citizen66]

'Class Clown' is a euphemism for 'Mathematical Genius'.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

'Class Clown' is a euphemism for 'Mathematical Genius'.

 

[Maurice Picarda]

My dad taught for thirty bitter years. He would divide each form's reports into four piles: stupid and idle, idle but not stupid, stupid but not idle, neither stupid nor idle. That was his job finished.

Then my poor mum, without any further input, had the job of thinking up appropriate euphemisms (in order, perhaps - "his progress has been disappointing", "varying standard of work but good contributions in classroom discussion", "has shown real application", "a fantastic year for Wayne - a delight to teach") and writing the reports.

 

[Balbi]

Harrison is very considerate towards others, which is reflected in his work = Harrison is a pupil with zero concentration who couldn't have an original idea if I hammered it into his fucking ears, as long as I could get it past that truly ridiculous haircut you have inflicted upon him.

 

[Cid]

No way I wasn't that bad! I was just mildly irritating. Got sent out for singing once. An Eternal song if you'd like to know.

You have only served to reinforce my opinion of your childhood self with that comment...

 

[ExtraRefined]

I got an A for attainment and 5 for effort.

We used to consider this the absolute best possible grade, which gives some indication of the mindset amongst my arrogant bastard friends. I was one of the few people to achieve it.

Protip - there is a point where that approach to life no longer works

 

[zoooo]

My sister's PE report was just "I don't know who this person is."

My headmaster once wrote that I had "shown true metal".

?

 

[Ms Ordinary]

I've just found an old school report for A-level German which says "participates readily in oral sessions"

 

[pigtails]

 

[stretchy18]

'physically able' = violent thug
'quiet and polite' = practically mute
'can form letters' = illiterate
'active and enthusiastic' = ADHD
'thoughtful' = no idea who this kid is
'lively contributor' = never fucking shuts up

Yes, I'm writing reports and getting to the point where I just want to tell it like it is.

'Bob, as I'm sure you're aware, is a total pain in the arse. He's an arrogant, know-all twat who uses his fists to solve arguments but cries like a baby the moment he gets told off. Bob listens to no-one except his inner voices, all of whom are as thick as he is. I, along with most of the staff, loathe him with a vengeance and raise a cheer when we hear he is to be absent. I wish him well for the future and suggest his skillset would be most applicable to the Armed Forces. Or Teaching.'

Thats a bit stiff rolleyes:

 

[Sweet FA]

Thats a bit stiff rolleyes:

It's known in educational circles as a 'joke'.

stretchy18 - "a touch humourless"

 

[blues]

One of my English reports said "her interest has started to wain recently" and at parents evening my English teacher complained I showed little respect for her.

I wonder why!!!