Erroneous Travel Advice Thread

[teuchter]

Thank you. That is a vey practical suggestion.

Does the bus route 21 (from Stoke Newington to Lewisham) offer an alternative route, if I should happen to find that my red lacky bands are lacking a certain grip maybe?

Bus route 21 does not accept panniers, I'm afraid.

 

[teuchter]

Dear Uncle Teuchter,

Hoping you can help me; I was taking some friends to Alderran but my satnav appears to be using an out-of-date map. I'm now heading instead for this small moon in the distance, but that's not showing up either and now Obi-Wan keeps muttering something about space-stations, the senile old twat. Can you point me back towards Mos Eisley, preferably avoiding the A406?

Yours,
Han

I am afraid I am not qualified to advise on matters extra-terrestrial. You will need to consult a specialist about this.

 

[teuchter]

I believe it takes just a day from here to Tulsa, but according to the timetable I can never, never, never go home again. This seems incorrect - can you advise?

If it helps, I'm currently at a small motel with a jukebox and a very attractive young lady.

What leads you to believe that the timetable is incorrect? Personally, I find that there a few things in life as reliable as a well-composed timetable. You will probably find that the attractive young lady does not fall into this category.

 

[teuchter]

Sir, I am replying to thank you for your advice above. I have just returned from The Wonders of Ancient Egypt and your advice was very helpful. In fact because I bought a package deal and went everywhere on organised tours I met blessedly few Musselmen and those I did meet - our tour guide and the bus driver - I tipped heavily every day so that it would not occur to them to kill me. Taking your advice I took some tinned sausages, and they went down with all the foreigners I met, including the aforementioned Muslins and the Pole who was also on the tour and was delighted to be introduced to sausages.

On the basis of this experience I can heartily recommend The Wonders of Ancient Egypt as a destination to all your readers, though of course it is not one for the fainthearted!

Yours heartily

RHB

Marvelous news. Good work, old chap.

 

[teuchter]

1. Is this the way to Amarillo?

And more importantly

2. Will "My baby" know when I get there?

Thanking you in advance for your excellent advice and public service.

1. Yes
2. Yes.

Thanking you in retrospect for your thanks.

 

[teuchter]

Teuchter may well be here soon to offer more accurate advice, but i believe if you board the last train to clarksville, you can be there by 16.30. This may not suit your travel needs.

e2a: i believe it is possible for seating to be reserved on this service

This is correct, but bear in mind that seating can only be reserved up to 1 hour before the departure of the train. Coach B is usually unreserved, should you not manage to secure a reservation, and coach A is the quiet coach.

 

[laptop]

Dear Travel Advice Service -

Having gone against the advice of my friends and touched a copy of the Daily Mail, I am now seriously concerned about substance abuse among transportation operatives.

Can you advise how I can be sure that it is not Casey Jones, driving that train?

Rgds,

S. T. Raightedge
Carshalton Beeches

 

[laptop]

In a possibly-related query, can you tell me the quickest way to Sugar Hill in Harlem?