England come home

Discussion in 'football' started by palomino, Jun 13, 2010.

  1. palomino

    palomino New Member

    Heskey can’t hit a wide open goal, and Green can’t stop a shot that any Sunday league player would have had without any problem, and this showing against those giants of the game the USA

    On this showing England might as well save themselves further embarrassment and get the first plane out. Never mind there's always 2014 :facepalm:
  2. Proper Tidy

    Proper Tidy I killed a man

    On behalf of ABE's everywhere, lol
  3. palomino

    palomino New Member

    Great news we can at least claim plagued by bad luck Rio Ferdinand is out, he has a bad leg;)
  4. tommers

    tommers Your disco needs you

    This sort of shit is one of the drawbacks to the World Cup.
  5. Lord Camomile

    Lord Camomile Lemonade socialist

    It's not even in the right forum :rolleyes: :p
  6. Pie 1

    Pie 1 The fuck did I do?

    Is it basically a bit shit being you?
  7. trevhagl

    trevhagl Famous author , company CEO

    we do have a fantastic midfield, sadly we need a Gary Lineker goal moucher
  8. Lord Camomile

    Lord Camomile Lemonade socialist

    Michael Owe... oh :(
  9. aylee

    aylee In exile in Haringay

    Are you a journalist for The Sun, by any chance? :rolleyes:
  10. stavros

    stavros Well-Known Member

    Lineker twenty years younger would be a godsend. Similarly Shearer ten-fifteen years ago.
  11. Augie March

    Augie March Well-Known Member

    Copy this, then insert the names and dates accordingly each time England play a tournament.

    You'll then save the 30 odd seconds it took you to come up with such an insightful thread, the next time your overly high expectations are shot down so tragically.
  12. Orang Utan


    people don't half talk a lot of shit about football. as a very amateur observer, i reckon 99% of anyone commenting on football hasn't got the tiniest clue what they are talking about. they just randomly throw together half-remembered comments from tabloid coverage and tv pundits.
  13. Orang Utan


  14. Shreddy

    Shreddy Truth Through Character

    What...you mean England always pretending they're WC contenders but in reality have done fuck all since those four lovable Liverpudlian moptops were recording their second album?

    Agreed. :p
  15. strung out

    strung out (",)

    quarter finals in the last two world cups.
  16. Shreddy

    Shreddy Truth Through Character

    Care to explain England's performance in the other seven decades of FIFA's existence?


    In the meantime: "She loves you yeah yeah yeah..." :rolleyes::facepalm:
  17. strung out

    strung out (",)

    semi finals 90, quarter finals 86, quarter final 70
  18. Proper Tidy

    Proper Tidy I killed a man

    Aye, that's quality for a nation of sixty million with one of the most advanced leagues and footballing infrastructures in world football.

    If football was boxing then England would be Audley Harrison.
  19. Lord Camomile

    Lord Camomile Lemonade socialist

    There's a book that has statistically proven that England overperform in every tournament, taking all that stuff into account.

    So there :p
  20. strung out

    strung out (",)


    i'm sorry if appearing regularly in the final eight of the world's biggest football tournament constitutes consistent failure in your eyes. we're actually more successful in world cups than lots of other countries with larger populations (usa, china etc) or similarly wealthy leagues (spain)
  21. Proper Tidy

    Proper Tidy I killed a man

  22. Maltin

    Maltin Well-Known Member

    FIFA were founded in 1904. England's performance on the world stage during this period is:

    1908 - Olympic world champions
    1912 - Olympic world champions
    1920 - withdrew from FIFA as refused to fraternise with wartime adversaries
    1924 - did not compete
    1928 - withdrew from FIFA over the definition of "amateurs"
    1930, 1934 and 1938 World Cups - not part of FIFA
    1950 - first round
    1954 - quarter finals
    1958 - first round
    1962 - quarter finals (lost to eventual champions)
    1966 - world champions
    1970 - quarter finals (lost to eventual champions)
    1974 and 1978 - did not qualify
    1982 - second round
    1986 - quarter finals (lost to eventual champtions)
    1990 - fourth (lost semi-final on penalties to eventual champions)
    1994 - did not qualify
    1998 - second round (lost on penalties)
    2002 - quarter finals (lost to eventual champions)
    2006 - quarter finals (lost on penalties)

    So out of the 15 World Cup competitions since England's re-affiliation with FIFA, we have qualified for 12 (80%).

    Of those 12, we have got to the quarter finals 8 times (67% of the times qualified and 53% of all of the competitions).

    We've been knocked out during the knockout stages by the eventual winners five times (42% of the times qualified).

    Of the 3 times we have gone to penalties, we have lost 3 times (100%).

    In conclusion, throughout FIFA's history we have consistently been one of the 8 best footballing countries in the world. You can also conclude that we are poor at penalty shoot-outs.

    England have the fifth best performance in all World Cup competitions.

    Only Brazil (5 times champions), Italy (4 times), Germany (3 times) and Argentina (2 times) have better records.


    Which country are you from?
  23. Proper Tidy

    Proper Tidy I killed a man

    Ah, so you're better than those notorious footballing superpowers of the US and China? Well done. How about India, they're wank too aren't they?

    Do me a favour. How about you try and draw comparisons with footballing nations instead?

    Oh, Spain. Is England's record significantly better than notorious under achievers Spain?

    Here's one for you. Uruguay, population 3 million, shite footballing infrastructure, weak league. Two world cups.

    How does the population and standard of league in Germany, Italy, France, Argentina and the Netherlands compare to England?

    See, this is what pisses me off - the completely undeserved sense of superiority. England are and have been since the late sixties massive underachievers. You would think this half a century of punching below your weight might imbue a sense of humility, but oh no. Somebody wrote a book proving that we're not really massive flops and everything, so there!
  24. strung out

    strung out (",)

    we have the fifth best world cup record. twat.
  25. Proper Tidy

    Proper Tidy I killed a man

    You have a huge population, the longest established and most comprehensive league structure in the world, and a footballing pedigree that is probably unmatched in world football, and you're crowing about 'the fifth best world cup record'? The only stat that matters is comp wins you fuckwit.
  26. Lord Camomile

    Lord Camomile Lemonade socialist



    And no, I'm not copying out the entire chapter devoted to it.
  27. discokermit

    discokermit Well-Known Member

    piss off taffy.
  28. Maltin

    Maltin Well-Known Member

    Of the teams who have a better record than us:

    Brazil - population 198 million (3 times England)
    Germany - population 82 million (1.3 times England)
    Italy - similar size but took part and won in 1934 and 1938 when England were in self imposed exile
    Argentina - population 41 million - won on home territory in 1978 and won due to the brilliance of Diego Maradona in 1986 and got to the final in 1990 with him
  29. strung out

    strung out (",)

    in that case, we're seventh. how come wales are so shit then, considering you use our league system for all your players?
  30. Proper Tidy

    Proper Tidy I killed a man

    I'm from the north you tit

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