Drunken moments you dare not think about
- Thread starter northernhord
- Start date
lynne8
Well-Known Member
oryx said:We couldn't find a condom. The cats came into the room. Biggest male cat sat on my head and dribbled onto my eyeball. It was a total, unmitigated disaster. The guy turned out to be a c*** of the first order as well. He had ex-girlfriend, personal hygiene, parent, work, landlord, financial, life & general existence problems to boot.
Just put that one down to experience.
Thanks for that, I feel better about my 'blank out'. Everyone has one of those hey? You should have listened to your cat, he obviously didn't think it would work!!
electrogirl
dignity is overrated
Oh lordy, just recently I've been to a few work do's with free wine and things have ended up messy.
The first one I kissed three people, got picked up over his shoulder by one of my workmates with my pants showing and everything and then dropped on the floor and also started booing like a baby when one of the stars from the show shook my hand.
Second time I kissed FOUR people, told my boss I fancied her, got so drunk that no taxi would take me home, got carried back into the bar and fell asleep in there for an hour, woke up talking gibberish and then finally got put in a nice sympathetic taxi.
The first one I kissed three people, got picked up over his shoulder by one of my workmates with my pants showing and everything and then dropped on the floor and also started booing like a baby when one of the stars from the show shook my hand.
Second time I kissed FOUR people, told my boss I fancied her, got so drunk that no taxi would take me home, got carried back into the bar and fell asleep in there for an hour, woke up talking gibberish and then finally got put in a nice sympathetic taxi.
Nixon said:
(((((Nixon's girlfriend)))))
Didn't she see this?
bluestreak
HomosexualityIsStalin’sAtomBombtoDestroyAmerica
wow.
you lot are ridiculous.
either that or i'm too restrained.
the worst that i ever did with drink was drink too much and throw up. or pass out. or in one case, wake up in the grounds of snaresbrook county court and no knowledge of how i got there.
you lot are ridiculous.
either that or i'm too restrained.
the worst that i ever did with drink was drink too much and throw up. or pass out. or in one case, wake up in the grounds of snaresbrook county court and no knowledge of how i got there.
Last Thursday, Offline.
I was on a day at the seaside with my now ex wifes work chums in margate. I got really drunk and when we staggered back to the coach I realised I needed a huge piss. There was a waste bin housing in the coach park and I went to piss behind that. I did not realise that the whole coach could see me pissing but not see my face. It did not help that I got my ex to hold my cock and make pretty piss patterns with it. The coach cheered when it was revealed to be us.
Stobart Stopper
Well-Known Member
I don't drink, but Pig more than makes up for it. A few months back he went to a leaving do, came in at midnight and I refused to allow him into bed until he's had a shower. 5 minutes later there was a huge crash and I went in the bathroom to find him on his back on the floor with his fat little legs in the air, he'd fallen out of the bath and was so pissed he couldn't get up.
Stobart Stopper
Well-Known Member
Where's Spymaster? He has a tale to tell!
heheheh at this thread
These days I normally fall asleep long before I have time to do too much damage.
All the 'moment's I'd rather forget' relate to entirely inappropriate drunken outpouring of emotion. The worst being hitting my best male friend and then weeping uncontrollably for hours, after which the penny *finally* dropped for him that I was kind of in love him. And we never really spoke to each other again
My most confusing drunken experience was travelling home with my boyfriend after a rather drunken night out. I remember we got on the tube together, after which it all goes blank until a stranger woke me up from a nap I'd decided to take, flat-out on the platform at Brixton station. As for the boyfriend - he eventually turned up at Seven Sisters. Quite how we ended up at opposite ends of the Victoria line remains a mystery.
These days I normally fall asleep long before I have time to do too much damage.
All the 'moment's I'd rather forget' relate to entirely inappropriate drunken outpouring of emotion. The worst being hitting my best male friend and then weeping uncontrollably for hours, after which the penny *finally* dropped for him that I was kind of in love him. And we never really spoke to each other again
My most confusing drunken experience was travelling home with my boyfriend after a rather drunken night out. I remember we got on the tube together, after which it all goes blank until a stranger woke me up from a nap I'd decided to take, flat-out on the platform at Brixton station. As for the boyfriend - he eventually turned up at Seven Sisters. Quite how we ended up at opposite ends of the Victoria line remains a mystery.
Mrs Bradley
wears the trousers
LOLmoose said:I've just remembered the night the Manchester police rescued me from certain death. I knew that if I crawled on my hands and knees along the white lines in the middle of Oxford Road, I'd end up near Piccadilly bus station eventually.
Nixon said:It was an accident
I swear
Im a faithful one
But how do you accidentally have your hand up a girl's skirt all night?
More to the point, what was your hand doing? Meh, you can't say that just because you were pissed it's not being unfaithful
chainsaw cat
Tea. Biccies. Happy now?
SubZeroCat said:Sex in a club toilet cubicle anyone?
....alone?
chainsaw cat
Tea. Biccies. Happy now?
My bestest for sheer comedy value was being arrested on the roof of a McDonalds and trying to bite the police dog when they took me down to the paddywagon....
chainsaw cat said:
Nope. That would be wanking, silly
iROBOT
CURRENTLY RE-BOOTING
One that still baffles me is when I went for a mates leaving do in Battersea. Many pints later the slammers arrived, after four of these decided to be sensible and go home. Get up, say my goodbyes and walk through the door and that’s the last I remember of Battersea cause I wake up the following morning at about 6am in a park in Camden…..no idea what went on between 10.30 (Battersea) and 6am (Camden).
One of many blackouts
One of many blackouts
iROBOT said:
I hate blackouts, they scare me
I don't seem to get that pissed anymore though.
baldrick
hmmmmm
night out with a workmate - double amaretto and lemonades in a trendy bar, 2 bottles of wine in another bar, then onto a club with the trad bottle of vodka in the handbag trick
bumped into some of workmates friends in there, was having a (drunken) chat with one woman, when i found a leftover pill in my bag. we did half each and that was that as they say - i have vague recollections of being so wankered i fell over every time i tried to dance, spilled purple drink down my beige trousers and had to ask for help with the fag machine
i also allegedly gave some abuse to a guy i knew from work - fuck knows what i said, i don't remember even seeing him
all in all i reckon i lost 3 hours, complete blackout
bumped into some of workmates friends in there, was having a (drunken) chat with one woman, when i found a leftover pill in my bag. we did half each and that was that as they say - i have vague recollections of being so wankered i fell over every time i tried to dance, spilled purple drink down my beige trousers and had to ask for help with the fag machine
i also allegedly gave some abuse to a guy i knew from work - fuck knows what i said, i don't remember even seeing him
all in all i reckon i lost 3 hours, complete blackout
Wintermute
easy tiger
My moment of public humiliation would have been in a club... somewhere... near Farringdon. They'd decided that shin-level glass-topped tables right next to the dance floor were a top idea, and I'd decided that it would be really, seriously cool to drink bottles of beer through a straw.
In a herculean display of dancing prowess, I put one foot through the table, spilling several people's drinks and causing everyone in the club to look immediately, and with some alarm, in my direction. Still with one foot half-in a table and clutching my beer nonchanatly, I made one of those split-second decisions that onlookers can see spread across your face like a toffee on a warm dashboard.
"I can make this look good", I thought, "I've got The Skills. I am Moving Like A Dance God. All I've got to do is twist, like this, and jump-and-hook-my-other-leg-and..."
Luckily, my attempts to decapitate the people around me with the splintered remains of the table while wearing a smug, "I bet you all wish you could recover from a potentially embarassing fall this well" expression were swiftly met by the club bouncers who held me down long enough to remove the table, which had inexplicably now attached itself to both feet, and then threw me - minus beer bottle and straw - into the street.
I haven't drunk beer through a straw since.
In a herculean display of dancing prowess, I put one foot through the table, spilling several people's drinks and causing everyone in the club to look immediately, and with some alarm, in my direction. Still with one foot half-in a table and clutching my beer nonchanatly, I made one of those split-second decisions that onlookers can see spread across your face like a toffee on a warm dashboard.
"I can make this look good", I thought, "I've got The Skills. I am Moving Like A Dance God. All I've got to do is twist, like this, and jump-and-hook-my-other-leg-and..."
Luckily, my attempts to decapitate the people around me with the splintered remains of the table while wearing a smug, "I bet you all wish you could recover from a potentially embarassing fall this well" expression were swiftly met by the club bouncers who held me down long enough to remove the table, which had inexplicably now attached itself to both feet, and then threw me - minus beer bottle and straw - into the street.
I haven't drunk beer through a straw since.
