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Does no one THINK about Christmas presents anymore?

Discussion in 'Wintervaltide - Xmas and Year Review 2011' started by mrsfran, Dec 20, 2011.

  1. trashpony

    trashpony Never knowingly underawed

    See I have a load on my shelves and I buy them for friends. But they don't buy them back. I love cookbooks
  2. quimcunx

    quimcunx Too tall.

    When someone already owns a lot of something and regularly buys for themselves the worry is they already have the one you've bought them.
    spanglechick likes this.
  3. Fedayn

    Fedayn Well-Known Member

    That seems a bit silly i'd agree.
  4. story

    story Changing the facts

    But very often, they don't, because they are waiting for someone to buy it for them.

    I've lost count of how many copies of the Keith Moon autobiography I have given as gifts. And the Mark E Smith one.
  5. Greebo

    Greebo 'scuse me, Mrs May, can I have my country back? R.I.P.

    That's the reason I asked VP for a wishlist this year - he's got so many DVDs that I'd probably see something, think he'd like it, order it, and only then find that he's already got it. The same goes for books (even he found he was buying what he'd already got, hence the database) and CDs.

    Most of the time I don't mind trying to work out what somebody might like or want. But I do expect to at least be told if there's something they really don't want.
  6. Yu_Gi_Oh

    Yu_Gi_Oh 天天好心情

    Mr Yu's family insist that we all adhere to Amazon wishlists, I hate it, I feel like we have no choice what to buy someone and are just kind of meeting their order, and I also feel forced into choosing gifts from Amazon for myself and making a fecking wishlist myself when most of what I would like isn't on Amazon.

    Also I feel like if people don't have a clue what I like or would want then they shouldn't buy me anything at all. I don't like the feeling of obligation which sneaks in when you're not looking around and choosing lovely things for people you love and feeling happy because you are thinking of them and imagining how happy they'll be when they recieve it. Buying shit just for the sake of it makes me sad and it doesn't feel special.

    This year I have rebelled against Mr Yu's families strict rules about Xmas and bought them all something lovely, unusual and Chinese. Then I took them to the PO and sent them by slow boat, so they'll arrive in March. :oops::facepalm:
    spanglechick likes this.
  7. Glitter

    Glitter Goddess of rock!

    For most people I like to choose gifts but for my other half I prefer him to tell me what he wants because he's so damned hard to buy for. He usually passes me a list, I take off what I'm buying him and forward it onto his Mum.

    I try and get him at least one surprise though.
  8. wtfftw

    wtfftw Well-Known Member

    My family have lists on google docs. We are allowed to go off list though. Works fine for my dad but my mum is impossible to buy for.
    If you're sensible (like me) you put so much on your list that you get surprised and there's always vague entries like eyeshadow or booze or a book you think I should own. etc.

    As systems go, I like it. :)
  9. radio_atomica

    radio_atomica mrs vole the vet

    That person totally has a spreadsheet. My mum and dad both do this 'what do the kids want for christmas?' Fair enough, we only have a small house and we already have toys so it makes sense not to duplicate things, but on the other hand, they could at least think of something first and then say 'I was thinking of getting...have they already got one?' On the other hand, the presents from people who don't check are usually worse, haha!
  10. Voley

    Voley The Prebendary Of Wetwang

    A couple of Xmasses back I thought along the same lines as you, mrsfran, so when people asked me what I wanted I told them I wanted a surprise. I reciprocated, too, by not asking anyone what they wanted and put quite a bit of thought into getting people stuff I thought they'd like. The result was that everyone got mightily pissed off with me. They mostly got me nice things but fucking hated me for it. Did they like what I got them? No idea. I won't be doing it again. :D

    A lot of people tell me I'm impossible to buy for despite having keen interests in music, books, films, travel, nice food and drink and also never having enough money to buy enough of these things for myself. 'You've got everything already' I'm frequently told. Even when I'm on the dole.
  11. Geri

    Geri wasn't born to follow

    I do not like surprises. They will more than likely end up at the charity shop.
  12. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I spend a long time thinking about what presents to get people, but it is really hard when I am buying for people I only see once a year, and know very little about - which is quite a few members of my family! I even get it wrong quite often with those I see more frequently, as my daughter would tell you!
  13. ViolentPanda

    ViolentPanda Hardly getting over it.

    I try quite hard to get my wife and parents (I have a "no presents" deal with my siblings, all of whom have children, I get the kids something instead) presents that I know they'll like, that they want, but that they won't be expecting. My nephews and nieces however, as there's over a dozen of them, all get exactly the same thing every year until they turn 21: Chocolate, a bag of sweets and some cash. :)
  14. ViolentPanda

    ViolentPanda Hardly getting over it.

    I'm fortunate in that with the 3 people I buy individualised presents for, I'm well-acquainted with their tastes. I know my dad loves certain bands and genres of music, and books on certain subjects, that my mum, while having fairly narrow tastes in music, loves sci-fi, fantasy and horror fiction as well as "classic" films and well-made dramas on DVD, and that Greebo has fairly broad literary and musical tastes and loves crafts.
    I can usually work with that. :)
  15. ViolentPanda

    ViolentPanda Hardly getting over it.

    And home-made pickled onions, 9 times out of 10, are far superior to shop-bought ones.
  16. EastEnder

    EastEnder Brixton Barnacle

    The problem with my family is that none of them are rich enough to buy me anything really good. So I have to come up with the same tedious, predictable, cheap suggestions every year. Would it really hurt them to sell a kidney one year, something like that, and finally get me something decent? :(
  17. wayward bob

    wayward bob i ate all your bees

    tbh i've stopped believing in presents for adults now. it just adds extra stress/effort/expense to a time where there's already plenty of that thanks all the same.

    edit: or at least i've stopped believing in reciprocal presents. if you see something you know is just *perfect* for someone i reckon you should get it, but it shouldn't start some kind of present-wars where you're all gonna be losers in the end :(
    quimcunx and Me76 like this.
  18. aqua

    aqua made of cheese and gin

    See I don't mind this idea :) As the list would help give me ideas too for other things (esp if I didn't see the person often and given how people start liking new things) I just hate that my mum will ask what I want and that's it - nothing special in it at all :( but I know she's superb at buying things for people :) but has somehow slipped into this routine

    this year I'm on maternity leave and have no income so presents aren't exactly high on the list :D
  19. EastEnder

    EastEnder Brixton Barnacle

    If you're on maternity leave that means you've got lots of spare time on your hands - why not get a paper round?
  20. Me76

    Me76 Not very good lurker

    I used to think that not getting presents would be awful, but my Mum hasn't got me anything for years, me and my sister only get each other presents if we particularly want something that we know isn't that expensive and for the last few months my BF has been earning bugger all, so I didn;t get anything for my birthday and won;t be for Christmas either. It is no big deal though. Spending time with people and having fun is more important to me really.

    Although the landlady of my local pub gave me a present the other day. It was a dress that she had worn a few weeks before and I had complimented her on and she bought it for me out of the blue. Very unexpected and thoughtful and made me choke up a bit tbh.
    Yu_Gi_Oh and feyr like this.
  21. nagapie

    nagapie Well-Known Member

    Every year I try to convince mr nags that we should stop giving each other gifts. This year I also tried to convince him that our 2yr old, who has just had a birthday and will be getting loads from family, didn't need a gift from us. He was horrified and asked what he would tell his family, I said tell them he's (son's) Jewish, which as his mum's a lapsed Jew is true. If I have to give an adult a gift at Xmas, I bloody want a list.
  22. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan Sub-Sub-Librarian

    i would love it if people asked me for an amazon wish list, but it's not done in our family, so sometimes i end up with books i'll never read and hideous sweaters. but that's xmas.
  23. Geri

    Geri wasn't born to follow

    That is the problem with me. What can they get me that's no more than £15? If something is that cheap, chances are I've bought it already.
  24. weepiper

    weepiper Jock under the bed

    If anyone else asks me to supply exact present requirements for my three kids I will scream.
  25. Termite Man

    Termite Man zombie flesh eater

    I suppose if people don't have much money they don't want to spend it on something that may or may not be appreciated so it's safer to just ask what the person wants
  26. Lo Siento.

    Lo Siento. Second As Farce

    I don't get the point of asking people what they expect for Christmas. I mean surely that's just reducing the whole thing to some weird financial obligation.
    spanglechick likes this.
  27. Geri

    Geri wasn't born to follow

    I agree. What is the point of adults, especially non religious ones, exchanging gifts of roughtly the same value? It's just stupid. I've managed to agree not to exchange presents with everyone but my mother. I do still give cash to my nieces and nephews though.
    Lo Siento. likes this.
  28. Lo Siento.

    Lo Siento. Second As Farce

    people should appreciate gifts for the intention and thought, not because it happens to something they actually want.
  29. Greebo

    Greebo 'scuse me, Mrs May, can I have my country back? R.I.P.

    This year, there's just one person I just can't work out what to get. And joint presents with her husband won't work because I still need to come up with something for her birthday. I've looked, and thought, still nothing. Will probably end up just sending a large bunch of flowers, if I can find somewhere which delivers on a bank holiday.
  30. Lo Siento.

    Lo Siento. Second As Farce

    It's great if both parties are into it, but clearly if its reduced to something so mechanical, surely its time to abandon it.

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