Do you give gifts?

[Cloo]

I like to give pressies, but don't always do this. I tend to give something small and fun, though, if it's for a mate.

I was amazed to read a letter in a mid-range women's mag where this woman was saying 'Oh, I just want to get my mate an inexpensive piece of jewellery, not more than £70' - I wonder if many people would spend that money on mates.

 

[Iam]

No, I don't.

 

[moonsi til]

Yeah I love giving presents ...I give to both male and female friends and family. Depends on who they are etc. Bought a male friend in March a jar of Guinness marmite and a few bars of chocolate and a lady pal yesterday a lovely necklace. Im at the moment planning my sisters present which is normally shoes or a handbag and a friends 1st year of being married present.

 

[Miss-Shelf]

I hate shopping. I only do it when I have to.

I have wondered if half the present buying that goes on occurs because the giver has a shopping hobby.

different people symbolise their love and affection with gifts. I can accept this. It's not something I naturally want to do.

Money is partially part of the issue. it's not always easy for every friend of someone to budget for going out AND buying a present.

I have offered reflexology to friends for which there is often enthusiastic take up. Not for everyone tho.

I wish I was a blerk in this respect and then I could blame it on my gender.

 

[Orang Utan]

I like to give pressies, but don't always do this. I tend to give something small and fun, though, if it's for a mate.

I was amazed to read a letter in a mid-range women's mag where this woman was saying 'Oh, I just want to get my mate an inexpensive piece of jewellery, not more than £70' - I wonder if many people would spend that money on mates.

I don't even spend that much on family! Never more than £20, unless it's a partner

 

[butterfly child]

I like buying gifts, it's a nice way to show you care and are thinking of someone other than yourself!

My husband will buy his female friends presents (birthdays, more than Christmas) but not his male friends, and I buy for both sexes.

I often see something and think "such and such would like that". It's often the thought that goes into choosing it and then all the wrapping that makes it special in my eyes, not necessarily the gift (although I have been known to take things to the charity shop the first chance I get, the giver would never know.)

 

[story]

I do love being given gifts, but as others have said, I detest the tat that gets passed around in the name of gift-giving. No more of these pointless things that will sit about collecting dust!!!

I'll cart stuff off to the charity shop, or give it away to someone else.

Anyone else re-wrap stuff and give it away again? I'll do it only if it's something I'd have chosen for the recipient anyway. If I'd not have chosen it to give, I'll not give it onward.

 

[Orang Utan]

Anyone else re-wrap stuff and give it away again? I'll do it only if it's something I'd have chosen for the recipient anyway. If I'd not have chosen it to give, I'll not give it onward.

No, I never get that sort of gift.
It's well tight too!

 

[story]

No, I never get that sort of gift.
It's well tight too!

How would you know, though, Orang Utan? I mean, if someone gave you something they'd recieved but not wanted, and it was perfect for you, how would you know it wasn't bought and paid for with you in mind?

What about if someone is broke? What if they made it, or bought it in a charity shop. Is that tight? Does that devalue the giving of the gift?

I don't think that the value of a gift is in the cost. If someone has in their house a thing that is perfect for me, and they give it to me, then I'd accept it with delight.

I'd far rather that, than something bought thoughtlessly, however expensive it was.

 

[Orang Utan]

I dunno, I can't imagine what kind of gift you may be referring to - I only ever get things like CDs, booze and books, and it's only the odd book that is 'unwanted' - I still keep them though
I think you should keep gifts given to you, unless they're really hideous and if they're awful, I wouldn't want to inflict them on anyone else.

 

[story]

Hmm... I should keep all gifts given to me, regardless of the fact that they're not useful, or beautiful, or wanted...? really?

They hold no meaning for me. And since they were so poorly chosen, I cannot assume that they hold any meaning for the person from whom they came. So where is the purpose in keeping hold of them?

I was last week given a holiday souvenir by someone I know slightly. I was immensely touched by the gesture, but I have no use or desire for the tatty item. It is currently knocking about in the kitchen, waiting to be moved onward to the charity shop or one of my godchildren. Do I *have* to keep it?

 

[Orang Utan]

No, as I said, I don't really know what kind of gift you're on about - we must move in different worlds - if a friend were to give me a raffia donkey from Spain, I'd probably ask him what the hell he was playing at - but, I concede that it would probably get binned - but I do have a number of knick knacks I have no use for but I don't want to give away because they were given to me by loved ones - if, however, I was given nothing but tatty knickknacks, I would get rid of a lot of them. I don't think I'd ever give them to other people unless it was something that struck me as suitable - I have a friend who collects flamingos, so if I was given one, I'd pass it on to her, but I'd tell her - I certainly wouldn't wait til next birthday, wrap it, then give it to her in lieu of another gift.

 

[story]

I think we're basically in agreement here.

Except for the bit where you say that you'd keep something because of who gave it to you. I don't see the thing as rpresenting the person. If I get rid of the thing, I'm not getting rid of the person, nor am I dismissing their regard for me.

But yes - the bloody nicknacks: they must go.

We were given a straw donkey once, as it goes. It was a miniature one, and it was approriate (elaborate in-joke) so we kept it. It gave rise to several other straw bloody donkey gifts though, and the others all made their way, donkey-caravan style, to the local charity shop.

I don't do smellies - you know aftershave/perfume, soaps etc. If someone gives me something from the Bodyshop, I'll go back and swap it for a gift voucher. I might use the gift voucher to get something for myself, but if I can't find anything I want, I'd not have any qualms using the voucher to buy a gift for someone else.

My sister gives me very odd gifts. I think she chooses things that she wants in her own home (she does the same with her husband - she seems to give him things she wants to own). We are very different though, so I really have no desire for seaside collages, or wooden fruit, or enamelled letter tidies. These lurk about the house for a while, and if they can't be made to be useful here, they end up either in someone else's possession ("Oooh, that's handy!" "Here, have it if you like") or the local charity shop.

This thread seems to have morphed from a discussion about gift giving to gift receiving ...

 

[Orang Utan]

I think we're basically in agreement here.

Except for the bit where you say that you'd keep something because of who gave it to you. I don't see the thing as rpresenting the person. If I get rid of the thing, I'm not getting rid of the person, nor am I dismissing their regard for me.

Well, the only things I have on my mantelpiece are 3 gifts from my sister that she bought in Africa and while I'd never have bought them myself (I don't buy decorative things), I've become quite fond of them. I also have a wooden domino set that I never play but I couldn't bring myself to throw them out - it's never occurred to me.
I've just looked to the left of me an spotted a pair of bookends that are the front and back half of a pink poodle - they're absolutely vile but I probably won't get around to throwing them out as they remind me of the dear friend who gave them to me. Luckily I don't get given those sort of things very often. The things I've just described to you are the entire catalogue of non-functional 'things' (or knick knacks, whatever you choose to call them) that I own I don't even have any posters or pictures, except for a map of the world in the bog which came with the flat

 

[sojourner]

Nah, have never bought pressies for mates - birthdays or xmas. I hardly ever remember their birthdays anyway, and if I do, it's usually a month later

I am however planning* on buying my oldest bessie mate a bottle of champagne for her upcoming 40th birthday - she'll probably fall over with shock We've been mates for 26 years now so I reckon it needs marking, the old 40th, (plus she's still just THAT bit older than me so a cracking opportunity to rub it in )










*disclaimer - I'm planning it, there's no guarantee I'll actually remember to DO it

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

well im a sinner then
i give people gifts all the time. if i see something and it brings to mind a person who i think will enjoy it, then more often than not i will get it for them, i bring flowers and stuff when visiting,if i have a toy or book i dont want or need in the house i will give it to friends children, maybe im a peple pleaser or maybe im just kind but i do think gifts are all about the thought behind them
the worst gifts ive received are the ones i would never even consider buying for myself, these are the ones i let ShiftyJunior break accidently on purpose