Cunning household tips

[ivebeenhigh]

Don't waste time sorting laundry by colour. After washing all clothes together several times they will turn a similar shade. Then you will never have this decision to make again

 

[ivebeenhigh]

Pop a few teabags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa anytime by just turning on the tap

 

[nino_savatte]

Pop a few teabags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa anytime by just turning on the tap

You write for Viz and I claim my £5.

 

[ivebeenhigh]

If you spill white wine on a pale surface liberally douse the stain with red wine immediately.

 

[ivebeenhigh]

A squeezed out toothpaste tube can be refilled with gravel to give a serviceable door wedge.

 

[ivebeenhigh]

lavatories - if there is a gap under the door, write "Beware midget Limbo Dancers".

 

[ivebeenhigh]

car washing - put off annoying neighbours saying "you can do mine next!!" by simply producing a hammer and smashing your windscreen in when you see the grinning plebs start to wander over.

 

[cyberfairy]

An unsightly stain on on your worktop? A dead body on the floor will take attention away from it

 

[Structaural]

Make your girlfriend cry when you're having sex by phoning her up and telling her.

 

[icklefairy]

Viz classic

Don't waste money on Tampax, get some rizla and cotton wool and roll your own

 

[ivebeenhigh]

angry wasps inside a cigar case make for an inexpensive vibrator

 

[madzone]

I've just put a glug of vinegar in the washing because I'd washed it the other day and forgotten about it so it went a bit stale. Not only does it not smell stale any more but it's really really soft

 

[Structaural]

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

The stains on pale carpet thing -- it was rhubarb and blackcurrant tea, and also some red wine. I tried a can of squirty/moussy carpet cleaner but that didn't work.

Would hiring one of those professional carpet cleaning gadgets work?

Or is the carpet buggered and should I just buy a new one?

 

[Mogden]

I shall have to look up carpet stains later. The bicarb paste is a good idea for starters but you need to pat and dab carpet stains rather than rubbing cos that spreads the stain.

 

[Mogden]

Right with the wisdom of Kim and Aggie now to hand, Anthea is upstairs in the bedroom , enamel baths should be cleaned thusly:

To remove stains from an enamel bath, make a paste of bicarbonate of soda with a few drops of water and rub onto the surface of a cork. To remove mild rust marks on a steel bath, rub with salt and lemon juice and rinse.

So I wasn't too far off Don't know quite what properties the cork has but they're cleaning magicians so I ain't gonna argue with them.

Now to carpet stains:

K & A say to dab most of the wine off and then apply carbonated or soda water to the red wine, dab and then apply again but this is for wet stains. My instinct tells me that applying this would reactivate the dried wine stain and then you can lift it out using this method.

As for the fruit tea, I reckon the nearest would be beetroot which suggests a solution of borax soaking in for 15 mins if it's a coloured fabric or cover with borax and add hot water for white and then dab and, as my own interpretation of the method they suggest for clothing, add a tiny tiny bit of biological washing powder, add some warm water and then pat to rinse it out and then add warm water to rinse and repeat. But try all of this in a non obvious spot first.

I think I am officially a household management bore. I only wish I could practice what I preach.

 

[Structaural]

Increase the life of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in the garage.

 

[rhod]

The stains on pale carpet thing -- it was rhubarb and blackcurrant tea, and also some red wine. I tried a can of squirty/moussy carpet cleaner but that didn't work.

Would hiring one of those professional carpet cleaning gadgets work?

Or is the carpet buggered and should I just buy a new one?

It'll cost you, but you're probably better off letting a pro carpet cleaning company have a look at it. There is a wealth of information over at the cleanItUp forum (you'll need to register to search).

Your attempts to clean the stain, may have made it more difficult to remove however

 

[Mogden]

Oooo rhod saying that has just reminded me. Apparently the Rug Doctor machines are very good to use even if the website is questionable.

http://www.rugdoctor.co.uk/

And you can hire them from all sorts of places.

 

[zenie]

Most bathroom cleaners like Mr Muscle are very bad for enamel baths. I know how you feel, when I moved into my current address, I was shocked to discover that my landlord (The Peabody Trust - rant coming soon) didn't inspect the bathroom and so I was stuck with a crappy bath. The previous tenant must have used scouring agents on it because it looks bloody awful.

I use cif on mine, seems to be ok?

 

[rhod]

Oooo rhod saying that has just reminded me. Apparently the Rug Doctor machines are very good to use even if the website is questionable.

http://www.rugdoctor.co.uk/

And you can hire them from all sorts of places.

The rugdoctors are great for dredging up muck from your carpet that you didn't know was there (be amazed at the colour of the water that you end up with)! - but I'm not sure whether they'd be any good on tricky stains. You need an expert to have a look at it.

 

[cyberfairy]

dp

 

[cyberfairy]

Right with the wisdom of Kim and Aggie now to hand, Anthea is upstairs in the bedroom , enamel baths should be cleaned thusly:



So I wasn't too far off Don't know quite what properties the cork has but they're cleaning magicians so I ain't gonna argue with them.

Now to carpet stains:

K & A say to dab most of the wine off and then apply carbonated or soda water to the red wine, dab and then apply again but this is for wet stains. My instinct tells me that applying this would reactivate the dried wine stain and then you can lift it out using this method.

As for the fruit tea, I reckon the nearest would be beetroot which suggests a solution of borax soaking in for 15 mins if it's a coloured fabric or cover with borax and add hot water for white and then dab and, as my own interpretation of the method they suggest for clothing, add a tiny tiny bit of biological washing powder, add some warm water and then pat to rinse it out and then add warm water to rinse and repeat. But try all of this in a non obvious spot first.

I think I am officially a household management bore. I only wish I could practice what I preach.

Will look again for some Bicarbonate of soda at shops. The vinegar didn't work yesterday and the ajax today didn't. Think will give up before break bath altogether

 

[panpete]

Pet odours? Live with an incontinent?

Solve two problems at once, sit the incontinent where the pet odour is, the human odour will mask the pet odour nicely.

 

[wtfftw]

What about rust on an enamel baths? I was soaking the oven shelves and it all went a bit wrong...

 

[longdog]

What about rust on an enamel baths?

T-Cut.

 

[Tank Girl]

I use mr muscle on our enamel bath and have done for four years, no problems at all.

the only problem we've got is a slowly growing chip in it where the child dropped the metal shower head in teh bath

 

[zoltan]

Rusty chrome ? like the bumpers on your Mk 2 Cortina ?

brasso .

 

[moose]

When house is messy and you are inviting friends over and want the house to look its best, take out bulbs and use tealights for lighting instead

Wow - I just smack 'em over the head and poke their eyes out with a stick.

 

[panpete]

Keep kids or animals small and cute by stunting their growth with powerful growth stunting drugs. No horrible tweenagers