Dillinger4
Es gibt Zeit
Is self control negative?
control and being controlled
- Thread starter fela fan
- Start date
ViolentPanda
Hardly getting over it.
It's impossible to exist as a human without exerting influence, or having influence exerted on you.
kyser_soze
Hawking's Angry Eyebrow
It's not possible to be a biological organism without exerting and being subject to the exertion of 'influence'!!
Dillinger4
Es gibt Zeit
But control is like, the man, mannn.
*leaves thread*
*leaves thread*
boohoo
No.
We can behave towards others in a way that they might consider controlling and we don't recognise our behaviour as being that. Perhaps we learn to control when needed even if it is subtle.
ViolentPanda
Hardly getting over it.
I like to think that I have self-control. Self-actualisation or self-empowered might be other words I'd like to choose.
Personally I think that the whole control thing in life is an illusion.
Control gives what people think is an element of certainty in an uncertain and unpredictable world. The more a person tries to control others, the more misery they make of their lives and of their own.
We try to keep and hold onto things, people and possessions in life, it's like some sort of right to ownership is taking place in a persons head. Quite often though, the more a person tries to hold onto the thing that he so desperately wants to keep, the faster it will slip from his grasp.
I always say to people that "True freedom comes from letting go" but some people can't do this because clearly to them it means they must give up control. The inevitable will always happen in life, so why not just accept it? If something or someone belongs to you it will stay with you, if not, it will fly away and that is the way it was meant to be.
People by the way, don't have power - power has them, because once acquired they cannot let go of it.
Observe what is happening to the USA - there has always been a nation to hold the sword, hold power, just as the Romans once did, and the British.
The funny thing about people who have power is that they always think they are right, but absolute power corrupts absolutely and Damocles sword must fall to those who do not wield it correctly; who abuse it. Isnt it a funny thing that no-one can have too much power indefinitely? Seems to be a law of the universe that one.
My own observations about "controlling" people is that they seem to expend an awful lot of energy in making their own lives miserable and of those surrounding them. It's a futile exercise. Given that life is a gift, why waste all that energy? Why not direct that energy into positive things?
Daft.
*shrugs*
Johnny Canuck3
Well-Known Member
We're all both.
Frankie Jack
Not a bloke..
I think that those who seek to achieve a sort of freedom sometimes try and contol.. but they don't achieve freedom.. they are playing out their insecurities and would like someone to take control as they are so insecure it becomes a need for them to be told the kind of contol they are seeking is not really what they want.. or what the person they are trying to contol wants either.. It's a childish manipulation of a situation that they are not capable of dealing with in an adult way.. There are those who try and control situations because they have no idea how to see things from anyone elses point of view other than their own.. and even an attempt at discussion of the situation just leaves the contolee baffled.. The controller will always have an arguement that is unrguable against..
and they will usually make every effort to alienate those that they seek control over from others who might back up the controlee by denegrating them to the point where they really think it's them that hasn't quite got it right..
In my own experience I would suggest that the person on the recieving end of someone trying to contol them.. walks the fuck away....
and they will usually make every effort to alienate those that they seek control over from others who might back up the controlee by denegrating them to the point where they really think it's them that hasn't quite got it right..
In my own experience I would suggest that the person on the recieving end of someone trying to contol them.. walks the fuck away....
Johnny Canuck3
Well-Known Member
Otoh, 'control' is an illusion, because everything is determined.
Yes, i think it is. It is anti-freedom.
Freedom is a state of being, a state of let-go, and is the antithesis of control in my view. If we control our own behaviour and speech, then that is just as much control as controlling others, or allowing ourselves to be controlled.
That's why i say that freedom is impossible without taking responsibility for one's actions and life.
Maybe so mate, but that would be better in its own thread. I'm talking about control, not influence.
And? The sun is yellow, round and hot?
Top post mate. But i'd not call it self-control, just self-empowerment as you then mention. It might be splitting hairs, but language is all we've got to share concepts and notions in life.
After 18 years of being controlled by just about everybody in life, it's not surprising that control is so heavily part of our lives. We then have to work hard to avoid falling into the trap of trying to control others. I believe this work is never over, but if we wish to have a life of freedom, then we must avoid control in any direction.
Let-go indeed is the best antidote to control.
Keep happy mate!
Otoh, 'control' is an illusion, because everything is determined.
The whole essence to life and freedom is that it is not determined. If something is determined, then that is done in the framework of time. Freedom is divorced from time. Control is married to it!
If you were talking about the ego, i might find myself agreeing with you. But to confuse the ego with our self is to miss the point of life, and to miss the potential that we all have from the miracle of having been born.
Drop the ego, and control drops by its own accord.
Johnny Canuck3
Well-Known Member
No doubt, that's the attractive illusion. Nobody wants to be a robot on a rail.
Control, or power relationships, can be described as the ability of one entity to influence another. As such, they exist in everything - from the forces that keep atoms together, though the structure of cells, biological processes, ecosystems and the universe.
Its the relationships between things (control) that define our reality, rather than the things themselves.
From this perspective, we can see such seemingly diverse entities as molecules, IT networks, online communities and human beings as much the same thing - that is: A pattern of power relationships.
Consider that certain of these patterns can self-replicate and you've got a fairly good picture of the 'evolutionary process'.
Meh.
Its the relationships between things (control) that define our reality, rather than the things themselves.
From this perspective, we can see such seemingly diverse entities as molecules, IT networks, online communities and human beings as much the same thing - that is: A pattern of power relationships.
Consider that certain of these patterns can self-replicate and you've got a fairly good picture of the 'evolutionary process'.
Meh.
.Burroughs again said:
