Choosing a secondary school

Discussion in 'education & employment' started by ATOMIC SUPLEX, Sep 26, 2017.


    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    Harris opposite Lidl?
    Or something else. I know the Purley Harris does the test, but the South Norwood one doesn't.
  2. not-bono-ever

    not-bono-ever Not what they want but what is good for them


    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    HOORAY! We got into the secondary school we wanted.
    We appeared to be out of the regular catchment area, but then again we were out of the catchment area of everything falling between all the stools.
    There is of course a chance that she got a good score in the entrance exam she took (the top 30 automatically get a place). We will never know.
    Anyway I'm happy. The school is in a nice location, looks nice and old 'school' (well literally) and more importantly offered more choice than any of the other schools in the area.
  4. rubbershoes

    rubbershoes not the only raver in the village

    I was with you until... stoked :p
    fishfinger likes this.

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    Do the kids not say that anymore?

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    The journey is going to be a 10 minute bus ride with a choice of two buses, that go two different routes and end up in different locations, that are both equidistant from the school. I think the buses are 10 minutes apart so it would be good to know both routes.

    How the heck do I train a 10 year old to make that journey there and back alone? What did other parents do? Weekend practice runs?
  7. trashpony

    trashpony Ovaries and tings

    I'm trying not to think about it :oops:

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    I've been looking. It's a choice of 4 different buses that won't all stop in the same place. The journey is probably only max ten minutes in rush hour I think, but then my daughter will have to walk another 10 minutes and know where she is and which way to go. The only thing I can think of is to make the journey several times by bus over the holidays (though she takes a bus with her mum or me every weekend to Japanese school and she 100% does not have the confidence to do that on her own or know exactly where she is).
    I might take her out for weekly jogging trips so that she knows the area she will be heading to well enough not to get lost. Trouble is there is not much to do around there so it's going to get pretty boring pretty fast.
    Maybe we could make it a fun map reading exercise? Either way I am shitting myself. She wouldn't even agree to meet me any further away than directly across the road from the school today.

  9. purenarcotic

    purenarcotic Conveniently Pocket Sized

    Would it help to talk through what her anxieties are and maybe see if you could both come up with some contingency plans? She might feel more in control of the situation then perhaps?

    Congrats on getting the school you want, that’s great news.
  10. trashpony

    trashpony Ovaries and tings

    My friend (whose daughter had to travel by train to the school that the foal is going to in September) took her on the train every day through the summer holidays, gradually moving back (into a different carriage and then arranging someone to meet her the other end to walk her walk to and from school until she was confident). It took ages but she got there.

    I wouldn't practice with jogging because I assume she's not going to do that. I'd get each of the buses there and back and walk to and from the school until she's confident.

    Are there any other children going from your area that she could travel with? That's what I'm relying on plus I know the school has 6th formers posted along the route from the bus stop/station to the school for the first few weeks to help the new year 7s
    PursuedByBears likes this.

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    Yes good idea. I think taking through mine would be good too.
    purenarcotic likes this.
  12. ShiftyBagLady

    ShiftyBagLady Thinks she is a flower to be looked at

    I think it's useful to prepare them for little solo trips before this big one to school (with other school kids and attendant anxieties). Ask her to come and meet you somewhere for a coffee or come to help carry some bags ach from the shops. I think that if we build their confidence about being outdoors alone and being capable of carrying out a task, it will feed into their supply of confidence in going into the world by themselves.
    PursuedByBears and Leafster like this.

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    She has come jogging with me before, sometimes running, sometimes riding her bike. I would like her to know where it was geography from our house just in case, even if she will be getting the bus.
    There is a girl she knows that goes to a school right next to hers, she is a couple of years older and does judo with her. I'm a bit worried this might confuse the issue though, especially on the way home. Most other children who go to her current school do not live close, and I don't think any of her friends are going anyway. We are right on the edge of the catchment area of the secondary school and right on the edge of the primary (that's in the opposite direction).

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    Yes. Just getting started with walking home some way from primary school. Asked her to go on ahead with a friend when I had to go to the school office the other day, said I would catch her up. The lady in the office kept me talking (about secondary school places actually), and I was having kittens!!! This is going to be as much for me (letting go) as it is for her.
    trashpony likes this.
  15. spanglechick

    spanglechick High Empress of Dressing Up

    I would just teach her one of the routes. She may have to leave home a little earlier than strictly necessary, to ensure she can get that one bus, but it won’t kill her. One route with no variables is exponentially easier to master than two or more. Especially where a lack of confidence is an issue,

    Once she has that route sorted and has been happily managing the journey for a few weeks, you can introduce another. And so on.
    PursuedByBears and purenarcotic like this.
  16. spanglechick

    spanglechick High Empress of Dressing Up

    Btw, as a poor, neglected third child, my mum showed me the bus stop our end when we drove past it, told me which number to wait for, and then her advice was “get off when all the other kids from your school do, and follow them”. I remember being a bit confused when trying to find my return bus stop, but i asked someone in the end.
    clicker, Thora and gaijingirl like this.
  17. gaijingirl

    gaijingirl Well-Known Member


    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    But yeah all good advice.
    OK one thing at a time. Good news about the school. I should concentrate on cutting the apron strings as they are before worrying about the bigger stuff.

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    So it turned out not to really be as much of an issue as I thought. I turned down a job starting this week so that I could be at home, but I probably didn't have to worry. Already just walking her to the bus stop seems like I'm being overprotective. Yesterday she got the bus on her own and I met her at the end of the road but I think this is the end of my parental interaction with her school run. Happened so fast.
    Here's the good bit. A new family moved into our street and have a daughter the same age that is going to the same school. Met them at the bus stop first day. The mum asked if they could go to school together, which seems to make sense. My new worry is that if they don't get on, this commitment could be awkward.
    Just got a call from my daughter, she is at school but forgot her phone. Amazingly she remembered my number and borrowed the other girl on my streets phone. Bad for forgetting her phone, but good for sorting it out and not panicking. I would have started biting my fingernails off all day when I saw her phone on the table.

    . . . And it's about early isn't it? She was at school before 8:00am so has half an hour before the bell goes. Jeez, if I was working I'd still have another hour before leaving the house.
    Winot likes this.

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