Discussion in 'books, films, TV, radio & writing' started by DaveCinzano, Aug 31, 2015.
A Bridge Too Far I.
Reggae legend Prince Far I serenades the troops.
Transformers: The Last Night
Supplied with faulty electrical infrastructure, the first team to climb the Martian volcano, Olympus Mons, face an uncertain future without power. In the face of adversity they decide to host the party to end all parties.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Lead Men Tell No Tales
Documentary about he prevalence of heavy metal poisoning amongst 18th century sailors Caribbean caused by contaminated rum.
Diary of a Limpy Kid: The Long Haul
Tedious 3 hour yarn about a crippled kid trying to do a Forest Gump
I Know What You Bid Last Summer
"Best auctioneering thriller since Blazing Gavels."
Well, since Lovejoy Luck Club at least.
Adventures while signing on/appealing a parking ticket.
the exciting job of being a fluffer
A bone in Berlin
A girl discovers a bone in Berlin, in the grounds of her school. This awakens the demon prince of Zakatosaosh and launches a titanic struggle for control of the cosmos.
Or 90 minutes of non stop campanology
Would-be suicide bombers fail to smile at anything
No country for old Len
Len Hutton's citizenship is revoked and he spends the next 18 years at East Midlands Airport
We follow our protagonist Elfie (a small, supernatural creature with pointed ears and magical powers) around 1960's London as he womanises and schemes his way to poor health and a period of introspection.
Avoid the 2004 remake staring Jude Law.
May of the Dead
Streepesqe political biopic meets disturbing post apocalyptic horror as the blasted corpse of a former PM defies death to spread alarm across the land - followed by a moaning, shambling retinue of rotting remains in pin stripe rags risen from the political graveyard ( Tebbitt, Heseltine, Major, Patton
Atone in Berlin.
Young Germans find out what Grandad really did in the war, and proceed to flagellate themselves for several hours. "Harrowing".
Jackie Chan comes to england to re-unite the band because he fucking loves that cold as ice song
A Fielding England - odd little arthouse effort that consists entirely of a view of Joe Roots arse in the slips during Pakistans second innings in the third test.
007 easily locates Spectre's secret layer in the Czech Republic.
From Russia with Gove
Schools throughout the land are issued copies of Dr Zhivago, foreworded by Michael Gove.
Made for TV documentary by Channel 5, looking at ugly people who buy jewellery from Argos.
Noel Gallagher attempts a second remake of the Bond classic featuring endless Beatles references and casual homophobia.
You Only Jive Twice
If you thought the fifth installment of 007 was racist enough, you were wrong.
Last Bexit to Brooklyn
a hapless UK trade negotiator with a penchant for spoonerism inadvertantly misses the chance to book Lynn - his PA - on a flight to Brussels, unbeknownst to his wife, for a weekend sojourn on the last day of brexit negotiations.
Ni By Mouth
Ray Winstone knocks Kathy Burke around while demanding a shrubbery.
Argos - the CIA hatch an elaborate mission to rescue innocent civillians caught up in a truly terrible retail experience
Jamaican verbal gymnastics team do surprisingly (to racists) well at world pun championships in Switzerland.
superheroine on a trek
Jamaican prisoner transport plane gets hijacked and crashes on a totally tropical beach.
Do the Wight Thing.
Tensions boil over and shit gets real on a hot summer's day in Ryde.
an innocent sheep-slaughtering werewolf tries to deal with their horrendous secret - uncontrollable urges to put on a bad hair-piece & act like an oleaginously self-deprecating, blarney-spinning light entertainer
Massive Christmas shnackathon with some cheeky British villian playing classical music and stuff
Performance art film inspired by Alan Clark's Elephant, in which hidden surveillance teams follow an unwitting subject, the former Blue Peter presenter Peter Duncan, around for a whole day, as actors pretending to be ordinary members of the public continuously stop him as he goes about his business to tell him that they “always preferred John Noakes”.
..marks awarded for effort...
Lost exit to Brooklyn
Stanley Edwards in new york
Separate names with a comma.