Cash for gold adverts

[kyser_soze]

Steal and old woman's keys, push her in a canal (with EE to witness so he can have his annual smile), and raid her house. Old women always have gold lying around, waiting to be exchanged4££££££s.

 

[Callie]

I think everyone should collect anything 'gold' they can, preferably plastic, crayons, chocolate money etc and overload them with it.

Then write lots of angry letters demanding payment for the gold.

 

[Psychonaut]

I think everyone should collect anything 'gold' they can, preferably plastic, crayons, chocolate money etc and overload them with it.

Then write lots of angry letters demanding payment for the gold.

you might not need to write a letter

...It appears that what some of these companies are actually doing is weighing packages they recieve without opening them, offering a very low price based on the weight of the unopened package, and issuing a fake assay report with the issued cheque.

We have evidence that this is the case since one of our readers sent a bag containing £5 worth of BRASS CHAIN bought from a DIY store & recieved a cheque for £67 along with an assay report telling them the fictitious amount of gold contained in their brass chain.

http://www.scrapgold.org.uk/scrap-gold-scam-alert.html

 

[subversplat]

Which did a few research deals and got offered something like forty quid for seven hundred's worth of jewelry. One place even decided a 9ct chain was "not gold" and held it for ransom!

 

[stevieG]

I think everyone should collect anything 'gold' they can, preferably plastic, crayons, chocolate money etc and overload them with it.

Then write lots of angry letters demanding payment for the gold.

That sounds like a great idea, I think I might just try that. I heard that they are even buying gold like gold teeth! I've now got this image of people pulling out their teeth themselves, popping them in an envelope and posting them.

 

[el-ahrairah]

CASH FOR SHIT!

Send us your shit now and reveal the wealth hidden in your guts!

Homeowner Kevin Sputnik from Bridgend sent us his shit:

"They gave me forty quid for a bag of my shit. It was the best thing that happened to me since the wife died."

Housewife Sheila Knuckles of Romford sent us her shit:

"One had just curled out an almighty cable and called the help to help one get it round the u-bend. But then I heard the adverts, so instead I got Magadalana to sent it to CASH FOR SHIT! and they sent me a cheque for four million pounds."

Yes, you can free up the excess value in your fecal matter, thanks to CASH FOR SHIT! Simply fill a jiffy bag with shit, pop it in the post to us, and we'll send you a cheque based on the value of your poo. Yes, that's CASH! FOR! SHIT!

Post your shit to:
David "Dave" Cameron
West Oxfordshire Conservative Association
Waterloo House
58-60 High Street
Witney
OX28 6HJ

Cash in your shit today!

 

[The Octagon]

Hmmm, I might mail them a hardened shit and see if they send me a cheque.

EDIT - Damnit, I hadn't refreshed and didn't see that^^^ post.

 

[Fruitloop]

I tell what I fucking hate - lawyer4u - a hundred percent lawyers (wtf?, who cleans the shitters?), a hundred percent compensation (yeah right). Who is that prune-faced fuckwit anyway?

 

[el-ahrairah]

Hmmm, I might mail them a hardened shit and see if they send me a cheque.

EDIT - Damnit, I hadn't refreshed and didn't see that^^^ post.

Great minds think alike.

The best thing about that post is that the address can be amended to suit anyone's requirements.

 

[PacificOcean]

WE BUY ANYCAR. WE BUY ANY CAR.................

I think these ads are keeping ITV2 afloat.

 

[stevieG]

The "we buy any car" adverts are actually really annoying, I had that song stuck in my head for days. I would probably say they are more annoying than the "send us your unwanted gold jewellry and get real cash for gold" adverts.

"cash for shit!", now that would definitely be an advert that I would like to see. I've heard the market price of shit is really low at the moment though, so you might be better off waiting for it to peak later in the year!