Cars, cars, show us your car, I'll show you my car, cars

Discussion in 'transport' started by mauvais, May 9, 2012.

  1. mauvais

    mauvais change has become unavoidable

    I'm sure that we can all agree that - objectively speaking - whilst two wheels good, four wheels better. Double science!

    So when I was about 14, I saw the advert for the Alfa 156, having been recently released and also winning European Car of the Year, and I wanted one.

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    At about 17, my parents gave me driving lessons as a birthday present, but since I never had any money, did have a bike and always lived in the city, I never took them up on it.

    That promise got a bit close to expiry at the ripe old age of 26, so I did learn to drive in July 2010, just for the skillz. Sadly, it turned out to be fun - who knew? That gave me the idea that I could actually do what I'd b[​IMG]ked on about for so long, specifically 'not having a car until I have a shiny red Alfa'.

    I spent three months looking for exactly that - facelift Alfa 156, red, leather, petrol - only to find them being sold before I could get there, time & time again. Finally in September 2010 I went to a dealer, laid down five thousand of my finest coins, got most of that right and bought this:

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    The wheels are made of gently warmed brie. The engine is born of mechanical improbability in a torrid affair of Italian nonchalance and nightmarish experiments in direct injection. The cambelt is a £500 cheestring. The paintwork (blurple) is a daydream of shiny in a world of loose stones and hippy-sharpened hedges. It drinks more oil than a robotic fish and when it comes to its penchant for petrol we find it passed out on a bench in the long-abandoned wagon station. The stereo doesn't work when it's cold and the air conditioning doesn't work when it's hot. One of the speakers doesn't work on Tuesdays. It has a turning circle of 238,857 miles and it cannot ever be parked. The leather nags at you to give up accountancy and go into the mountains with six prostitutes and that's how trips from Southampton to Blackpool find you taking in Aberystwyth. And it's not even fucking red.

    Take that, planet! Take that, pocket! 81 pence per mile.

    Screw all that though. I get to sit in it and make rorty vroom noises. Magic!
     
  2. Sweet FA

    Sweet FA ✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪

    Mmmmm shiny shiny car
     
  3. marty21

    marty21 One on one? You're crazy.

    might post a picture later, if I can find one which doesn't show all the scratches and scrapes on the paintwork :D

    I was hating the thing a few weekends ago when the alternator went and I had to shell out £300:mad:
     
  4. fractionMan

    fractionMan Custom Title

    I am thinking about getting one of these:

    [​IMG]

    But I'd probably get the van version
     
    Voley, Mephitic and Badgers like this.
  5. Puddy_Tat

    Puddy_Tat put on an iron shirt, chase santa out of earth

    I has one of these, albeit a 3 door version

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    It is now 19 and a bit, and since it's a diesel the fuel cost has only fairly recently gone above 10 pence per mile.
     
  6. marty21

    marty21 One on one? You're crazy.

    mine is a 2003 Golf btw 1.6 - in Green
     
  7. TitanSound

    TitanSound Mr Beardy Drummer

    Great for traffic jams, shitty for MPG though :(

    [​IMG]
     
  8. mauvais

    mauvais change has become unavoidable

    Want. But if you get one you must only drive it in a racing suit & full face helmet, and go around corners at whatever its VMAX is (15mph?) shouting 'DAB OF OPPO!'.
     
  9. fractionMan

    fractionMan Custom Title

    it'll go 30 on the flat :cool:

    5k brand new.

    The truck version would be more useful, but that would be more fun. Decisions.
     
  10. fractionMan

    fractionMan Custom Title

    Sorry for the derail. How steep is an 18% hill?
     
  11. mauvais

    mauvais change has become unavoidable

    Not far off a 1 in 5, so fairly steep. Starting to be work on a bike and getting on for first gear in a car.
     
    fractionMan likes this.
  12. Kanda

    Kanda Diving wanker

    I have one of these Urban favourites:

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    Badgers likes this.
  13. Griff

    Griff Hardly posting anymore

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    Have one of these that I quite enjoy. :)
     
    sim667 likes this.
  14. beesonthewhatnow

    beesonthewhatnow going deaf for a living

    We've got one of these:
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    Honda Jazz Sport.

    The "sport" bit means you get fancy wheels, air con and an iPod input on the stereo, the engine is exactly the same as every other model in the range :facepalm: :D

    Its brilliant though, the interior is a genius bit of design, done by someone who clearly has children :)
     
  15. Sweet FA

    Sweet FA ✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪

    Mondeo ST220. Very fast, very thirsty.

    [​IMG]
     
    discokermit and mauvais like this.
  16. Yelkcub

    Yelkcub Well-Known Member

    I have one of these:
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    I believe there was an Urban thread about Audi driver's taking over from BMW drivers as the biggest wankers:D
     
  17. mauvais

    mauvais change has become unavoidable

    Before this day I had never seen a Jazz that wasn't being 'driven' at 9mph, full lock, in an empty Waitrose car park, by someone who had possibly died some weeks or months before. Yours is a revelation in that it looks as if it may actually attain the speed limit. This gives me great hope for the future people of tomorrow.

    And look! It's contagious!

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Kanda

    Kanda Diving wanker

    Nope. That was Clarkson on Top Gear.
     
  19. Sweet FA

    Sweet FA ✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪

    Haven't you got a TVR or something? Or have I gone quite mad in my dotage?
     
  20. beesonthewhatnow

    beesonthewhatnow going deaf for a living

    He did seem to be right though, at least based on the idiots round here.
     
  21. Kanda

    Kanda Diving wanker

    I get about 14 MPG in the beast... less in town. I rarely drive it though.
     
  22. Griff

    Griff Hardly posting anymore

    Yeah, still got that. :)

    The Type-R is for going to work/shopping as I got seriously bored of the commuting Polo diesel.
     
  23. Sweet FA

    Sweet FA ✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪

    Ouch. Is yours a 3.7? Mine's 3.0 V6 & I get about 19 in town. Can reach the heady heights of 26 on long motorway drives :cool:
     
  24. Kanda

    Kanda Diving wanker

    4.0 V6.. probably weighs about 2 ton too :)
     
    Sweet FA likes this.
  25. mauvais

    mauvais change has become unavoidable

    What have you got - a Vixen? Pics man! I give you this great thread and this is what I get back :mad:
     
  26. Sweet FA

    Sweet FA ✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪

    Any new pics?
    Yeah I can see how the Type-R vs Polo fight is a bit one-sided...





    Btw, did you see cybertect resurrected the Abbey Rd Cam thread? I got sucked in again yesterday. I'm absolutely not looking today :mad::D
     
  27. Griff

    Griff Hardly posting anymore

    [​IMG]

    Only have this picture from a couple of years back. :)
     
    fuck seals, Voley, marty21 and 4 others like this.
  28. weepiper

    weepiper Jock under the bed

    First I had one of these, it was a green P reg like this one cost me £800 and had 118,000 miles on the clock

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    then I got one of these (Peugeot 406 TDi) mine was S reg though, think it had 91,000 on it and I bought it for £1300

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    then I got given an X-reg one of these (Nissan Primera Sport) this was lovely and I was sad to see it go, it died of rust eventually :( there's only so many times you can weld bits of a car to get it through its MOT... it had alloys, leather seats and a 16v engine and could go like shit off a shovel if I wanted it to, and is probably the nicest car I'm ever going to own

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    now I have an ancient clapped-out one of these on long-term loan from my brother, I can't actually remember what reg it is, K I think, about 130,000 miles on it, lovingly home-serviced by my bro and held together mainly by wishes and positive thinking

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    bangernomics :)
     
    marty21, Voley, Sweet FA and 2 others like this.
  29. moose

    moose like some cat from Japan

    You've seen mine a few times as I've had it for 7 years and am not bored yet. In fact I've treated it to some new paint this week, and I'm getting a new roof shortly.
    golf house.JPG

    Got this too.
    van.JPG
     
  30. moomoo

    moomoo Not so yummy mummy

    I've got a red car. It's a Peugeot something or other. I get confused by the numbers. :hmm:
     
    Voley, Frankie Jack and moose like this.

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