Discussion in 'photography, graphics & art' started by Maggot, Mar 15, 2012.
For the record I took the camera to the funeral, but it stayed in my pocket as it didn't seem appropriate to take any pictures.
I feel your comments applied to me because I asked the question in the OP and you quoted me.
Are you seriously trying to claim that your comments weren't aimed at me?
Yep, at my uncle's funeral last year, there was plenty of people who hadn't seen eachother for a long time, so people took pictures at the wake - no one minded.
Don't know if it's a cultural 'thing' or what, my cousin's wife [she's originally from the Caribbean] took lots of photos of him in his coffin before and during his funeral.
Her and all her family were comparing photos after the event and they sent me an album of [what they considered to be] the best ones. Completely freaked me out when I opened it. They seemed to be proud of how 'well' he looked after his death, to me he just looked like someone who'd gone through a long battle with cancer and I wished I'd never seen the snaps of him TBH.
Maggot, you're daft asking this question on here. You are the only person who can really judge. What kind of camaraderie did you have with the deceased and their loved ones? is it a celebration of their life and friends or a mourning? Are their parents and family tradtional?
I have been to a funeral and a wake in Sligo and it was more like a party than a funeral, great fun. Bouncy castle for the kids, free bar, crap DJ, camera flashes and as is custom at Irish funerals and weddings a fight between two brothers followed by a makeup
Also been to a couple of Hindu funerals and there was a video camera present - maybe that's a Sri Lankan thing, I don't know.
If it was me I personally wouldn't take a camera even if it was OK to do so because I'd rather take photos of my friends in happier circumstances. Because each time you're going to look at those photos you're going to be reminded of the sad day.
Why not meet all these friends you haven't seen for years and arrange to meet up at a later date when feelings aren't so raw and have a night out together?
Personally I want a New Orleans style funeral but instead of jazzy dirges I want some jungle and dnb
I want a Weekend At Bernie's style send off. Dress me in a Hawaiian shirt and take me clubbing.
You could hire a caravan at Clacton on Sea or Southend and actually fore-fill that wish.
I'm a bit reticent to revive this beef-laden thread but it is an interesting topic, particularly if the person who has died was known to a lot of people who can't make the funeral. Naturally, videos of the actual ceremony and closes up of crying friends are rightfully out of bounds, but sometimes people could be grateful to have a tasteful record of the event to share with friends and family - IF that's appropriate in the individual circumstances, of course.
It's a tricky area, I think. I'm sure nobody wants to do anything in bad taste. As editor says, if it's appropriate. I was surprised when my friend showed me a video of her mother's funeral - I'd never really thought of something like that. Then again, my wife showed me a picture of my father in law on his death bed in the hospital, as I couldn't be there (in Japan). It was not expected but she meant well and I think it gave her some sort of succour (if that's the correct word).
It's tricky - intruding on anyone's grief is out, and so is interrupting the ceremony, or telling people to smile for the camera. OTOH a picture of the flowers or other tribute (one bloke's coven made a rememberance quilt in his final weeks and each of them signed one square) or the final resting spot might be helpful afterwards.
People can be so overwhelmed on the day that they don't notice or remember those things.
Seems to me he thought it was OK
I have some much cherished pictures from my dad's wake last year. I saw family/friends of family that I hadn't in years. There were a lot of tears and remembering to begin with but later, merriment, celebration and dancing.
In the weeks leading up to his funeral, I focused my despair at losing him by collecting pictures of the extended family and friends over the last 50 years and made a memorial video set to music that I knew he liked or reflected his life and ours as a part of his. Some of the pictures I used were of people who had already died, their grown up children (cousins/friends) were there watching, there were pictures of us all as kids, different ones of my dad, funny ones, sad ones, special occasions, everyday around the house etc.
I played this at my dad's wake for everyone to see then made sure copies were available to everyone who wanted one. Whilst watching it we cried, cheered, laughed, blushed and comforted eachother...it was perfect and helped me a lot to creatively channel what I was feeling at that time.
I would not take pictures at a service or at the graveside without permission...the wake however felt right, for us.
I'd prefer that to one more video montage backed by "Wind Beneath My Wings."
Exactly! When my mum died, the whole family came back together in a way it hadn't for years.
We had the service and then we all had a right good drink and toasted my mum to the max. I'm not a camera person because I like to live in the moment but we got some fabulous shots that day!
Ergh, I saw a selfie, with a nan in death bed yesterday.
I didn't know whether to laugh or not :/
I went to a funeral where at the after-do, there was a laptop hooked to a large screen with a montage of photographs depicting the life of the person who'd just died - which everybody loved. Not what's being discussed here, but it shows that technology can play some positive part on such a sad occasion.
I get totally fucked off when people take pics at funerals.
Worse is when they post the pics on Facebook...
(This happened at a relative's funeral last November )
I think it's acceptable if you wait until afterwards, but that's just me.
My mum asked a friend to take some photos of dad's funeral: flowers, the coffin, the processional into the crem led by a bloke from the fire brigade's ceremonial ex-firefighter thing...
I think she wanted things to help her remember and mark the occasion, and I totally got that, but as it turns out, five and a half years on I can remember every single detail of how it looked. I've never seen the pics. I don't need to. I dunno if she feels the same.
The wake I remember pretty well too. My lovely drunk uncle/older cousins. Don't think anyone would have minded a photo, but it didn't feel like it needed them (and I photograph just about everything!)
My mates dad took photos as my grandads funeral. I'd already taken pics of the coffin in the chapel of rest. He snapped the flowers, bugler, back of us gathered at the graveside. None at the wake, but I wanted the funeral photographed more than the people iyswim.
Most crematoriums film the service from the back and you can buy the DVD.
I'd say go for it...if it's an open casket just prop up mr or ms dead and group selfies all round.
At my dads funeral last week my brother photographed the flowers and took some snaps of relatives at the wake. Not sure that mid service would be appropriate unless there was prior agreement by all parties concerned?
Didn't somebody get into trouble for doing something very similar in one of the recent middle eastern conflicts? They took some selfie photos of themselves with recently killed or nearly dead?
You took my suggestion seriously?
I was being facetious .. sorry...
In reality I detest photographs at anything that is hugely and intensely heart wrenching and personal...particularly a funeral.
A few years ago a workmate's husband was killed in a car accident, and we all went to the pre-funeral get together at her house (she's Filipina, he was Samoan). I was pretty shocked to be herded in front of the (open) casket for a group photo with my colleagues by a professional photographer, I was going to refuse before getting over it and keeping my cultural discomfort to myself.
I personally don't see anything wrong with people taking photos at that kind of event with people they've not seen for a while (I like to think if I die young in a freak weightlifting accident or whatever that people would use it as an opportunity to get together ), it's not like the deceased will mind and as long as they respected other people's right to grieve privately then what's the issue?
you should always have a camera at a funeral to monitor who isn't mourning sufficiently.
Despite being a serial snapper, I didn't take a single photo at my mum's funeral and now perhaps I wished I had as it was a rare occasion when all the family and friends were together.
That said, I was so sad I really wasn't in the mood. I just wanted to get home as quickly as possible.
I was at my step-brothers funeral this week and lots of photos were taken at every part of the ceremony. It didn't feel wrong, maybe because many of the people there (and my step-brother) were involved with the world of film and photography.
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