Bullying in the work-place

[mrsfran]

"why have my colleagues deserted me?"

The answer to why few are willing to stand up and support a victim of workplace bullying is at:

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bystand.htm

Especially relevant is the bit that reads: "work mates think that if they keep their heads down, their mouths shut and pretend nothing is happening then it won't happen to them [wrong - their turn will come eventually]"

Bullying by more than one person is often known as "mobbing":

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/mobbing.htm

Good points. You're shaming me into action.

We have a team meeting tomorrow, and the temp won't be there. I'll put it on the agenda.

 

[poster342002]

Good points. You're shaming me into action.

We have a team meeting tomorrow, and the temp won't be there. I'll put it on the agenda.

I accept no liability or responsibilty for any damage, loss or detriment suffered as a result.

 

[mrsfran]

poster342002 - From that website, people who stand up to bullies:

are isolated, victimised, scapegoated, have undue constraints and excessive workloads imposed, and are then subjected to disciplinary proceedings on trumped-up charges as a prelude to losing their job (as well as their career, livelihood and health).

and

bullies are extremely vindictive and will do everything in their power to destroy anyone who can see through their mask of deceit.

Oh good. Really looking forward to that. Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[poster342002]

As I say, missfran, I accept no liability or responsibilty for any damage, loss or detriment suffered as a result of following such advice.

The only real solution to this menace is real workplace solidarity - as opposed to the infantilised backstabbing, overamibitiousness, brown-nosing and general divide-and-rule that takes place in most dysfunctional shitholes of workplaces.

 

[mrsfran]

Fortunately, my direct supervisor and I get on really well, and I know she'll back me up. At least, I hope so.

 

[poster342002]

Good luck. And do take care.

 

[sojourner]

Sojourner - I'm not clear - you're angry with me for being too cowardly to address it with them directly or with them for being bullies?

I have stood up for the temp in a rather heated team meeting, pointing out that something wasn't her fault, and that making her afraid to ask for help isn't conducive to her working better. However, I just got shouted at, told that I also make lots of mistakes myself, and that it's not good enough (by someone who is my equal in the team). Now, I didn't take it personally or to heart, I don't really give a shit if she thinks I don't do a good enough job, it's not her place to decide. However, the temp does and is hurt by it, and that's what makes me uncomfortable.

And I'm reluctant to address this with people who I *know* will only go out together at lunch time to the park and bitch about us and complain at every opportunity to management.

Honestly, it really is like being 14 again. "She said, he said, let's not talk to her".

Fucking hell - I'd get out of there if I was you, if it's possible. It sounds like an awful soul-destroying place to work

I was angry that you felt that way, that you are being pushed into a corner by these people. And don't appear to have any support from management. I wasn't angry at you, sorry for not being clear

 

[poster342002]

Fucking hell - I'd get out of there if I was you, if it's possible. It sounds like an awful soul-destroying place to work

In my experience, the vast majority of UK workplaces seem to be like this now. At least office-type ones do, anyway.

 

[beeboo]

In my expereicne, the vast majority of UK workplaces seem to be like this now. At least office-type ones do, anyway.

I've worked in three offices - in the first this type of crap was fairly common place, but in the second two there has been little or none of it. Maybe I'm lucky?

If you can stand up to them missfran then so much the better. But if you think they're just going to make your life hell too, then I'd just continue to go through the appropriate channels (reporting it to mangagement etc) but not get too personally involved.

It sounds harsh but at the end of the day she is a temp, whereas this is your permanant job - I don't think you should sabotage it just to be doing the 'right' thing (especially if you don't think it will actually help).

 

[mrsfran]

The team meeting's been put back to next Wednesday.

 

[Cerisa]

I hate to say this, but maybe she should be placed elsewhere? my first office job was completely beyond my capabilities and i got shit from the other office workers for not being able to handle it - i also had to ring round in my second week to inform a few people that one of their clients, a thirteen year old boy, was dead. My second job, however, has been fine and i've done the job extremely welll - it's improved my confidence.

I think the temp should be placed in a more accomodating environment and the two bitches should be severely taken to task, cos they are in the wrong - but she's not doing the job properly.

 

[winterinmoscow]

I was bullied breifly, when I temped and it hurt relaly badly. I completely understand that some of the people who worked there thought the same thing could happen to them but for those who did stand up for me, and a friend of mine who was buillied far worse than me, I am grateful to them to this day.

I now realise that while some people do end up placed in the wrong places at work and this in itself needs to be dealt with, bullying is unacceptable at work and no one should have to dread going to work cos of the abuse they will get. I guess that if I was in that temp's situation I might be tempted to just ask for something else from the agency and make it pretty clear why I was doing that to the placement managers and the agency itself. Everyone makes mistakes and soetimes people are less quick to catch on than others.

Missfran, I do understand that you're concerned about what will happen. I think you've done a really good thing stnading up for her.

 

[Epona]

I've been bullied in some way in every big organisation I have worked for.

Some of the things I've been through in workplaces have been ridiculous - like being victimised for being the health and safety rep, and the head of department being really fucked off that he wasn't in control of me for that role - so appointing an alternate health and safety bod, getting fucked off when he was told by HR that wasn't how it worked and that he could give titles to as many people as he liked but I was still the union appointed H&S rep and the only one in the building with statutory powers. Then he reported me for over 100 supposed unexplained absences within the last year - except I was able to provide either signed off agreements to attend health and safety meetings, union meetings, and annual leave -and the vast majority of days he claimed I wasn't there, I could easily prove I was because the purchasing system used in the office recorded exactly when I logged in, logged off, and did work. Idiot claim, but I suspect it was to cause me stress and send a warning to other staff about doing something as horrendous as being health and safety rep in a building. *rolleyes* I only said it was ok for staff to go home if they wanted to once! ONCE!

What wasn't so good was that I was moved and put on gardening leave before being moved to another post (well, the gardening leave was ok!), and that fuckwit manager was left to try to destroy other lives. Fuckwit manager 1, H&S rep 0

 

[mrsfran]

Wow. I do not remember this thread, the bullying, or even which temp it was. Twelve years ago.

 

[kabbes]

Wow. I do not remember this thread, the bullying, or even which temp it was. Twelve years ago.

"This too will pass".

 

[Epona]

Oh crap yeah, just noticed that it was necroed. NOT by me thankfully!

However, I feel this demonstrates that workplace bullying is still a thing, 12 years on.

 

[dessiato]

Yesterday I gave a very brief talk to staff to highlight awareness of organ donor week.
I was talking specifically about a project that's happening this week where a man who donated half his liver to his sister is running the length of Ireland to raise awareness.
A particular member of staff who knows that I am looking at having a transplant myself decided to comment after the talk...
Towards the end of the talk I got a tiny bit upset... this member of staff knows I don't get on with the principal so well...and have had a very tough time in the school...he blurted out for others to hear..."get an eye transplant so you don't have to see the people you hate".
It sounds benign...but this guy knows my history and I made the mistake of divulging some of my health and work problems to him.
The comment was heard by 6 people. 3 of whom came to me afterwards to tell me...
It has actually upset me so much that I can't go into the staff room today...and feel like just quitting.

I'm afraid I don't have any constructive advice to offer, but know that I'm with you at least in spirit. I hope you find a solution to the problem.


And, that staff member's a cunt.

 

[Baronage-Phase]

I'm afraid I don't have any constructive advice to offer, but know that I'm with you at least in spirit. I hope you find a solution to the problem.


And, that staff member's a cunt.

I thought I'd go talk to him...but there's no point. Cunts don't change..

 

[ElizabethofYork]

Sorry to hear that, PippinTook. He sounds like an arse.

 

[equationgirl]

Sorry to hear that PippinTook I wouldn't bother speaking to him either, sounds like he'll use anything you tell him against you at a later date.

Workplace bullying is horrible and isolating. At least if you're in a union you won't be alone.