Brockley Sainsbuggers under seige

Discussion in 'London and the South East' started by hipipol, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Living right next door to the little local Sainsbuggers is a truly psychotic and single minded cat
    A few weeks ago he wrapped himself around my legs then ran to the door of the house next door, kept staring at the door and mewling pitifuly
    Sucker that I am, I fell for it
    I rang the bell, a man answered, said hello, then looked down as he saw the cat, he tried to block the doorway with a naked leg, the cat clawed said leg and attempted to jump over it
    The poor man caught it in mid-air jump
    The cat bit and clawed him till it escaped inside
    "Oh I'm so sorry" say I " thought he lived here"
    "Oh, its my cat alright" said the poor clawed chap
    3 days later said Tiddles was again well friendly as I came out o Sainsbuggers, so I gave it a quick head stroke
    It bit my hand then stuck its claws in!!!!
    Since then I have seen at least 3 different employees from the shop trying to keep it out - total fail
    Yesterday, it celebrated the opening of the new bakery next door by stealing a brown paper bag full of tasty shit from the rack below some poor womans pushchair, child laffing its head off, Mum did not seem to agree from what I saw...
    Will try to get some video of Mental Puss - I have a rather sick admiration for its determination, Scared o Nothing - sod the real name, for me, it is now the Brockley Dreadnaught!!!!
     
    marty21, Edie, Calamity1971 and 12 others like this.
  2. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model every man and every woman is a star

    wave a cucumber at it
     
    Callie and Miss-Shelf like this.
  3. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Is this a tried and tested cat lure method I am unaware of?
     
    Pickman's model likes this.
  4. Celyn

    Celyn Well-Known Member

    Water pistol deters moggies. Maybe not that one, though. :)
     
    Pickman's model likes this.
  5. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model every man and every woman is a star

    [​IMG]
     
    DaveCinzano, Argonia, marty21 and 7 others like this.
  6. Santino

    Santino lovelier than lovely

    I can see two Chuckle Brothers in that.
     
  7. Leafster

    Leafster From the FRow

  8. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Hmmmm, think this ones merely freaked out cos it thinks its shit has turned huge and green
    Prob the react the same way mesel to such a revelation!!!!
     
    pogofish and Pickman's model like this.
  9. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Sounds like him.....
    My how his fame has spread!!!:D:D:cool:
     
  10. pogofish

    pogofish Testicle Hairstyle

    I think I have had a few of those moments over the years/illnesses! :eek: :D

    Otherwise this sounds like my old dear departed cat - lived wild under my shed for a long time before coming-in and adopting me and for the first year, he was as likely to attack me as be friendly, then something changed and he was the best , most loving, one of thefamily cats you could hope to have. Except to strangers, who he still loved to terrify! :D
     
    Pickman's model likes this.
  11. Epona

    Epona Down with battered parsnips

    Oh my Radar is a bit like that, really really sweet and affectionate towards me, but a total nutter towards other people. I have to shut him in the bedroom whenever we have visitors because he goes a bit nuts and starts randomly attacking people, and I once had to prise him off my dad's head. He was clamped on like something out of Alien, and biting.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2015
  12. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan razzed up on scrumpy and injustice

    hipipol and fishfinger like this.
  13. Spymaster

    Spymaster Cockney Wanker

    Our friend, Jamie, had a psycho cat that used to ambush people and piss all over the house. It trapped him in the toilet once and attacked his ankles whenever he tried to come out.

    Jamie thinks the cat just fucked off one day. What actually happened is his boyfriend stuck the animal in a box and let it out at Membury service station on the M4 on his way to Wales to visit his parents.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2015
  14. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Orang Utan likes this.
  15. Puddy_Tat

    Puddy_Tat That's Puddy Tat Esq to you

    he ought to find a branch of sainsburys with a display of 'mog' toys and hide among them...
     
    Pickman's model and fishfinger like this.
  16. Bakunin

    Bakunin I am Noodle's bitch.

    The face says:

    "My shelf. MINE!"

    "Instead of trying to disturb my Royal slumber make yourselves useful. The kitty aisle is over there. I require two bags of Dreamies, a multipack of cat milk and some dry AND wet food. And none of that cheapo rubbish, either. I'll know, so don't even think about it."

    "Trot along now."
     
    Puddy_Tat likes this.
  17. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Seems he's not been in for a couple o days
    Prob avoiding the Paparazzi blocking the route

    Or should that read .... PapaCatzi??
     
  18. Maggot

    Maggot The Cake of Liberty

  19. Epona

    Epona Down with battered parsnips

    A friend once did house/cat sitting for me for 5 days whilst I was on my honeymoon.

    I think on about day 4 I got a text message along the lines of "Your horrible cat who chewed through the phone cable has now stolen my glasses. Everything is blurry, I can't see my way out or even operate my phone properly. Send help".

    (We found his glasses under the sofa btw, but he is quite visually impaired without them).
     
    TopCat, Edie, Puddy_Tat and 3 others like this.
  20. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Short of breath hand held report from the frontline....
    It seems that the cruel Human Olly allows to live in his house, has put a fucking BELL round his neck!!!
    he already had been humiliated into wearing a collar, with a "Do not Feed Me" tag attached...
    Now he has a BELL!!!
    Seems he had developed some new tactics
    When I saw him last week he was pacing around outside , with his new neck tag asbo bollocks round his neck, What I did not realise was that he adopted tactics well known to WW11 submarine commanders, smuggle yerself past the boom UNDER, normal traffic
    It seems he was able to bend his legs to the point that he was able to enter the shop by running in UNDER a pushchair!!!!!:D:D:D:D
    Fucking genius beast
    Tonite, the manager wiv 2 assists, run out from the office, mgr saying "where is he?" - woman on till "who?" Mgr, "the cat, the fuckin cat" - woman on till "oh you mean my keys?" - " Mgr, " everytimr I hear jangling keys I think hes back"....
    They all trooped back into office, looking disappointed, well that's my prob biased view
    Other peeps in queue start saying " let him in, he's famous"!!!!!!!!!!
    One woman, much enamoured and buying 50 lottery tickets (??????????????)
    "he's got his own FB page, he's a "tourist attraction" Olly, TOTAL legend round this way



    PS Its worth noting his brother, the grey twin, tends to hang about on the other side of Brockley railway station - he seems to prefer to watch the cab office and cafes........
     
  21. Puddy_Tat

    Puddy_Tat That's Puddy Tat Esq to you

    hipipol, marty21, oryx and 2 others like this.
  22. bi0boy

    bi0boy Power User

    Outrage as cat in Ely is banned from the Virgin Holiday concession inside Sainsbury's



    Sainsbury's managers insist Garfield is still welcome in the supermarket's lobby area but the decision to ban the moggy from the travel agent's has sparked anger from his fans.

    One of his Facebook followers said: "What nonsense! He is a cat and of course he will scratch – he is not a toy.

    "The parents firstly should control their child and secondly not be so pathetic to complain.

    "I will not buy a holiday from Virgin and will not shop in Sainsbury's if this is their attitude to animals. This is appalling."
     
    hipipol and Pickman's model like this.
  23. Spymaster

    Spymaster Cockney Wanker

    People following a cat on Facebook.

    Fuckwits.
     
    marty21, Edie and not-bono-ever like this.
  24. skyscraper101

    skyscraper101 0891 50 50 50

    Whats the facebook page address?
     
    marty21 and TopCat like this.
  25. keybored

    keybored #NeverUseTheInternetAgain

    Welcome to the Internet, how's your first day been?
     
  26. bi0boy

    bi0boy Power User

    skyscraper101 likes this.
  27. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Hardly a new madness.......
    What Jeff Killed - whatjeffkilled.com
    Jeff The Giant Orange Cat
    I used to follow him and was fascinated by Jeff, the Giant Orange cat
    Long gone, but for me and many others, not forgotten........
    RIP Scourge of Rodents, JEFF G.O.C.
    [​IMG]
     
    danski and Orang Utan like this.
  28. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan razzed up on scrumpy and injustice

    Jeff was rock hard. He even came home with massive snakes he'd killed.
     
    hipipol likes this.
  29. hipipol

    hipipol Peckham Wry

    Ollie has moved shops
    He's now to be found parked in the Water Into Beer brew shop two doors down from sainsbuggers
    [​IMG]
    waterintobeer – waterintobeer
    He is as aggressive as ever - has drawn blood from the hands of unsuspecting punters a few times over recent weeks.....;):cool:
     
  30. Maggot

    Maggot The Cake of Liberty

    The cat on that page has sadly died.

    I thought it was the one on this thread, but it turns out it's another Sainsburies cat, based in Ely.
     
    Pickman's model likes this.

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