Brixton police Lurk here

[Iguana]

I used to work in Systems Integration in Dell, who the Met buy their computers from. So I know their bios passwords as I programmed them.

 

[longdog]

u75: Putting the stab back in to constabulary.

 

[London_Calling]

After the way Brian was treated by the media it's hardly surprising they keep their heads down. Probably reassuring they've got that much sense.

 

[bluestreak]

If any hot police chicks are reading this, I'm on the market. How you doin'?


Of course, if anyone thought they didn't read this covertly then they're idiots. It's worth remembering that anone with an ounce of sense can piece together many of our addresses from our posts. I personally rely on the fact that they probably can't be arsed unless I confess to anything major.

 

[detective-boy]

Yep. It struck me that they have the same victim culture as teachers and doctors too.

Well there's a fucking surprise ... if you pay the slightest attention to the sort of shite here, aimed at anyone who dare try to explain that policing is not something that is dead simple and anyone except the cops could manage to sort out before lunch, you could probably have fucking guessed ...

 

[detective-boy]

You mean my tax is being used to pay people to read this and i read it for nothing?

Sort of ... but not in any regular or targetted way.

This, like everything on the internet, is "open source intelligence". As such it is occasionally monitored by intelligence units, usually when there is some specific reason to think something useful may be found in relation to a specific event. It's only the same as is the case with newspapers, etc.

There is no way in a million years this place would be targetted in any way - you'll need to become a whole lot more like real, instead of wannabe, anarchists to merit that!

 

[Gromit]

I personally rely on the fact that they probably can't be arsed unless I confess to anything major.

I shot President Lincoln. Do you think they'll track me down for that?

 

[newme]

I shot President Lincoln. Do you think they'll track me down for that?

Nah too much paperwork involved.

 

[bluestreak]

I think you're alright, it's not in Brixton's remit, plus the relevant force have already fitted someone up for that.

 

[Corax]

Well there's a fucking surprise ... if you pay the slightest attention to the sort of shite here

We were talking about Police Oracle, not urban...

anyone who dare try to explain that policing is not something that is dead simple and anyone except the cops could manage to sort out before lunch, you could probably have fucking guessed ...

I think you've just illustrated my point beautifully.

 

[cybertect]

I shot President Lincoln. Do you think they'll track me down for that?

There's no statute of limitation for murder.

 

[detective-boy]

We were talking about Police Oracle, not urban...

I'd worked that out, thank you. But I am actually capable of drawing together different ideas and concepts into a response.

I shall, however, bear in mind that others, apparently including you, are not.

I think you've just illustrated my point beautifully.

No, you've just illustrated mine ...

 

[London_Calling]

And you've both illustrated the essence of Urban as a debating medium.

 

[Pickman's model]

But I am actually capable of drawing together different ideas and concepts into a response.

usually something along the lines of 'you're a cunt', 'they're all cunts', 'no one understands what the police do' or some combination of the three.

 

[Corax]

I'd worked that out, thank you. But I am actually capable of drawing together different ideas and concepts into a response.

I shall, however, bear in mind that others, apparently including you, are not.

Right. So you were aware that people's attitude towards police on U75 wasn't the subject of discussion, but you didn't see that as any reason not to post a whining comment about how no one on here is cuddly to coppers.

Do you see how that 'victim-mentality' thing works now?

fukinell...

 

[N_igma]

Fuck da police...yeh you pig.

 

[mrs quoad]

i always wondered who put the pro BNP posts up!

 

[8den]

RIFF
Who me, Officer Krupke?

TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
Yeah you, gimme one good reason for not draggin' ya down the station house, ya punk!

RIFF
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' upke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks

JETS
Gee, Officer Krupke
We're very upset
We never had the love
That every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good

RIFF
There is good!

JETS
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside, the worst of us is good

TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
That's a touching good story

RIFF
Lemme tell it to the world!

TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
Just tell it to the judge

RIFF
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad

SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE
Right! Officer Krupke
You're really a square
This boy don't need a judge
He needs an analyst's care
It's just his neurosis
That oughta be curbed
He's psychologically disturbed

RIFF
I'm disturbed

JETS
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed

SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE
Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.

RIFF
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE
So take him to a headshrinker. You!

ACTION
Who me?

RIFF
My daddy beats my mommy
My mommy clobbers me
My grandpa is a commie
My grandma pushes tea
My sisters wears a moustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess

ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
Yes, Officer Krupke
He shouldn't be here
This boy don't need a couch
He needs a usefully career
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically he's sick

RIFF
I am sick!

JETS
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick sick sick
Like we're sociologically sick

ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.

RIFF
Hey, I got a social disease!

ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
So take him to a social worker


RIFF
Dear kindly social worker

They tell me get a job

Like be a soda jerker
Which means I'd be a slob
It's not I'm antisocial
I'm only anti-work
Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk

A-RAB
Eek, Officer Krupke
You've done it again
This boy don't need a job
He needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside he's no good

RIFF
I'm no good

JETS
We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good

The trouble is he's lazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growing
The trouble is he's grown
Krupke, we've got troubles of our own

Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees

RIFF
'Cause no one wants a fella
With a social disease

JETS
Dear Officer Krupke
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!

 

[detective-boy]

usually something along the lines of 'you're a cunt', 'they're all cunts', 'no one understands what the police do' or some combination of the three.

Listen, prick. I am not interested in talking to you at all ... Just fuck off and leave me alone, OK? I simply am not interested in you or your pomposity.

Repeated for clarity and for the hard of thinking.

 

[detective-boy]

Right. So you were aware that people's attitude towards police on U75 wasn't the subject of discussion, but you didn't see that as any reason not to post a whining comment about how no one on here is cuddly to coppers.

But that's not what I fucking posted, is it?

You posted:

Yep. It struck me that they have the same victim culture as teachers and doctors too.

I replied:

Well there's a fucking surprise ... if you pay the slightest attention to the sort of shite here, aimed at anyone who dare try to explain that policing is not something that is dead simple and anyone except the cops could manage to sort out before lunch, you could probably have fucking guessed ...

i.e. NOT a "whining comment about how no one on her is cuddly to coppers" but using what happens here as an illustration of precisely why they may have the same victim culture as teachers and doctors that you identified.

But clearly you are not capable of comprehending simple words, so best we just leave it, eh?

 

[ymu]

 

[Corax]

i.e. NOT a "whining comment about how no one on her is cuddly to coppers" but using what happens here as an illustration of precisely why they may have the same victim culture as teachers and doctors that you identified.

But clearly you are not capable of comprehending simple words, so best we just leave it, eh?

No, let's not leave it. I want to hear more of your whining about how there's no hallmark policeman's day and you never get invited to the best parties and stuff. Go on, let it all out.

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

No, let's not leave it. I want to hear more of your whining about how there's no hallmark policeman's day and you never get invited to the best parties and stuff. Go on, let it all out.

tea/monitor

 

[8den]

No, let's not leave it. I want to hear more of your whining about how there's no hallmark policeman's day and you never get invited to the best parties and stuff. Go on, let it all out.

I wanted to call it "cuddle a copper day", but then I got tasered.

 

[Intastella]

Then i hope they read this...

 

[Bakunin]

Seeing as the poor plod are getting such a rough time, I've decided to post a little wanking material for them get all excited about on their next night off.

May I present the typical copper's solution to crime of all kinds, be that crime serious, minor or somewhere in the middle. And it even caters for the innocent person who didn't actually do anything, because plod are helpful like that: