Brixton helicopter thread

[Johnny Canuck3]

We have a hospital nearby, where they land the medivac helicopters, bringing in really hurt people from elsewhere in the province.

It's a kid's hospital, so it usually means some really fucked up kid. There's usually two or three a day, at any time of the day or night. Last night, there was one about 3 am.

By the time they're near our house, they're about 100 feet up or less.

It's not that big a deal.

 

[quimcunx]

1 point for news helicopter
2 points for police
3 points for air ambulance
4 points for chinook
500 points for stealth helicopter

Can we have one of those posters with the different types on for recognition purposes?*

I'm also considering an urban fox thread. I seem to be hearing them more and more often, screeching and wailing.


*I'm assuming there hasn't already been a pull-out in one of the Sunday papers.

 

[teuchter]

I think that what is actually required is a dedicated fox-copter which will be used to gun down all foxes in Brixton. Especially the ones in my back garden, jumping on all the plants and chewing through electical cables. Or perhaps the police copter could do this in between hunting down criminals. It would be good practise for the marksmen, and an efficient use of resources.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Can we have one of those posters with the different types on for recognition purposes?*

Would you like a tropical island to go with it?

 

[quimcunx]

Perhaps there could also be a victim support unit attached to the fox-copter unit equipped with gardners and electricians to replant, effectually fix any electric cables and spread tiger dung.

 

[teuchter]

There are certainly a lot of victims in need of support.

 

[detective-boy]

I'm also considering an urban fox thread. I seem to be hearing them more and more often, screeching and wailing.

That's the police that is! They're using foxes now to gather intelligence. They are equipped with miniature CCTV cameras and bluetooth devices capable of hacking into any laptop within 200m and downloading the entire harddrive as well as monitoring all your phone calls and e-mails. This is true.

www.theregister.co.uk/sleepwalkingintoasurevillancesociety/nothingtofear.html

(It's not true actually - it's a pathetic attempt at satire. Just thought I'd get in first though ...)

 

[detective-boy]

Or perhaps the police copter could do this in between hunting down criminals. It would be good practise for the marksmen, and an efficient use of resources.

0800 555 111

Report Brazilian foxes with a penchant for electrical work ...

Ditto ...

 

[quimcunx]

That's the police that is! They're using foxes now to gather intelligence. They are equipped with miniature CCTV cameras and bluetooth devices capable of hacking into any laptop within 200m and downloading the entire harddrive as well as monitoring all your phone calls and e-mails. This is true.

www.theregister.co.uk/sleepwalkingintoasurevillancesociety/nothingtofear.html

*hastily clears cache on realising what drew them to my back garden at 2.30am today.. *

 

[damnhippie]

500 points for stealth helicopter

 

[teuchter]

The ones in our back garden do have a penchant for electrical work. I don't know how one tells if they are brazilian though. Perhaps I will report them anyway.

0800 555 111

Report Brazilian foxes with a penchant for electrical work ...

Ditto ...

 

[quimcunx]

The ones in our back garden do have a penchant for electrical work. I don't know how one tells if they are brazilian though. Perhaps I will report them anyway.

Are they wearing what appears to be an explosives-stuffed bomber jacket which, on closer inspection, turns out to be a denim jacket sans dynamite sticks and a wired alarm clock?

Perhaps instead of cursing these immigrants to our urban idylls we should have them trained. Hone their rough and ready electrical skills into something more constructive. If you could also see your way to training a couple up to be plumbers and tilers I'd be much obliged.

 

[detective-boy]

I don't know how one tells if they are brazilian though. Perhaps I will report them anyway.

As well as bulky coats, did they jump over the fence?

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

As well as bulky coats, did they jump over the fence?

and are they Metro readers?

 

[teuchter]

They always seem to be wearing fur coats and they have some kind of headgear consisting of two triangle things. They do seem to leave newspapers in the garden sometimes but i have not checked whether it's the metro. In any case they seem to have lost patience with the standard of journalism as they are invariably torn up angrily into little shreds. On one occasion one of them stole a shoe from the living room. I suppose they could have been intending to put a bomb in it.

 

[detective-boy]

On one occasion one of them stole a shoe from the living room. I suppose they could have been intending to put a bomb in it.

Do they attend Brixton Mosque? Could well be if they do ...

 

[quimcunx]

They always seem to be wearing fur coats and they have some kind of headgear consisting of two triangle things. They do seem to leave newspapers in the garden sometimes but i have not checked whether it's the metro. In any case they seem to have lost patience with the standard of journalism as they are invariably torn up angrily into little shreds. On one occasion one of them stole a shoe from the living room. I suppose they could have been intending to put a bomb in it.

They sound more like Russian emigrés. Better to freeze their assets as they are doubtless gained from money laundering.

 

[teuchter]

How do I freeze their assets?

 

[quimcunx]

Tie a couple of bags of frozen peas round them.

 

[gaijingirl]

My head is banging already .... and there's a helicopter over the park.


Go away noisy helicopter!!!

 

[tarannau]

Yep, LQ just asked if there was anything on the Brixton forum about the helicopter.

No idea why, it's just circling seemingly aimlessly around.

 

[gaijingirl]

It does seem aimless - it's really high up with no searchlights or anything.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

What time was that stabbing by The Academy?

 

[quimcunx]

Has there been a stabbing by the Academy??

 

[detective-boy]

It does seem aimless - it's really high up with no searchlights or anything.

It only usually uses the searchlight if it's trying to give light to ground units in a search, or at a scene. Where it used to use them all the time (searching for suspects) it frequently uses night vision now, which it could be using with absolutely no indication from the ground.

 

[gaijingirl]

I guess that's some kind of blessing - I do remember one night being woken up by the searchlight coming through my bedroom window as the helicopter hovered overhead.. scared me witless!!

 

[Ol Nick]

It only usually uses the searchlight if it's trying to give light to ground units in a search, or at a scene. Where it used to use them all the time (searching for suspects) it frequently uses night vision now, which it could be using with absolutely no indication from the ground.

Rather than using helicopters with night vision why can't they use some kind of tiny nano-robot connected to a half-human half-cyborg controller who can use some kind of future tech power to locate and subdue offenders without harming anyone or anything else? Assuming this would be quieter of course.

Because I hate the helicopter.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Has there been a stabbing by the Academy??

So someone said in another thread

 

[detective-boy]

why can't they use some kind of tiny nano-robot connected to a half-human half-cyborg controller who can use some kind of future tech power to locate and subdue offenders without harming anyone or anything else?

They did try this ... but everyone said we were sleepwalking into a surveillance society / police state ...

 

[ajdown]

Something's buzzing round the top of Brixton Hill by the telegraph for the last 10 minutes or so... guessing it's the police helicopter.