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Books you refuse to read.

Orang Utan said:
... Colour Of Magic
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Terry Pratchett writes the most fantastic pap but sometimes I really do want something that brain dead. This works for me because Pratchett is consciously taking the piss out of himself and his own writing style in the book.
 
The "discworld" series. I'm sorry, but I might be prepared to give these a go had the premise of a world balanced on the back of elephants been given a miss. I know it's supposed to be a surreal comedic series of books, but the whole elephants thing just pushes it beyond what I'm prepared to deal with, iyswim.
 
your worried about the scientific inacuracies of a comedy fantasy?

elves orcs and magic are ok but fuck me who would belive in a space turtle!
 
The Discworld books were well past their sell by date ten years ago. I realised that they weren't funny any more and the characters just irritated me. So I stopped reading them. I've no problems with the sureality though.
 
Shippou-Chan said:
your worried about the scientific inacuracies of a comedy fantasy?

elves orcs and magic are ok but fuck me who would belive in a space turtle!
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I know it seems odd, but there comes a point where my suspension-of-disbelief gets ... well... suspended. My brain just goes so far before thinking "Nope. Ain't having it". :D
 
Angela's Ashes. It just looks so fucking dreary. I don't like reading stuff about poor people in the olden days.
 
Anything by Charles Dickens. I mean, if he wanted people to take his novels seriously, why give his charecters silly names like "Furbeldink Hopplepick"?
 
Shame on you! You obviously have no understanding cos you haven't read any Dickens - judging by your comments about Pratchett, it seems you have a talent for missing the point spectacularly.
I love Dickens character names - they are always very fitting, just like in Hardy's novels - and Dickens is a comic writer anyway.
 
i sometimes feel like this:
MysteryGuest said:
I won't read anything that I've seen a lot of people reading on public transport. I don't care if it's Memoirs of a Geisha, Nick Hornby, whatever, I'm unable to be interested once I've seen it's a smash hit.
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about music.

but in terms of the current thread i agree with this:
Orang Utan said:
but I'll read anything, even if I think it'll be shit - after all, you can't slag anything off unless you've read it, can you?
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and get vaguely annoyed when people do.
 
Anything that suggests that there is a code in the Bible, anything about astrology, anything about why men are the way they are (because we fucking are you daft bints - we are simple), anything about getting on in business, anything by Marian keyes, Barbara Trapido, Helen Fielding, anything by TONY PARSONS or his absurd ex wife, anything by Derrida, Paul de mann and that whole Yale school of Postmodernism - fucking cul-de-sac -but it's meant to be, it's ironic! ...wank. Anything that common people read on holiday, anything about football hooliganism or indeed the whole sub-Irvine Welsh genre - he is one trick pony but a good one, the rest are all like Viz immitators; anything that could be construed as fantasy. D.H Lawrence is dreadfuly humourless and actually quite silly as is Herman Hess. Oh there's loads more shit..give me time.

Stuff that people have slagged off which is good:
1. James Joyce - genius beyond compare
2. Martin Amis - novels and essays funny and clever as fuck
3. Jane Austen - the wit, style elegance and a whole world encapsulated with playful delight 'in a few country villages' - a joy forever.
 
Orang Utan said:
George Eliot and Jane Austen are FANTASTIC authors - you really should read Middlemarch, May - it's a brilliant atheist tract.
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Sorry man, it's just not going to happen - Silas Marner was trial enough. I was supposed to read Middlemarch for my degree, but never made it past the first 10 pages or so (although that in itself doesn't say much about the author). I just cannot get on board with her prose style, she's just so fucking BORING!

I'm certainly not saying it's a bad book, just that I can't stand her as an author.

Generally speaking I do agree with you about giving anything a go - I've read and loved all sorts in my time, including several Jilly Cooper novels.
 
Any book by that smug cunt Sebastian Faulkes. AK tells me Birdsong is really good but I just can't give his books houseroom.

If I did, I might have to move to North London and start holding dinner parties. :eek:
 
May Kasahara said:
Sorry man, it's just not going to happen - Silas Marner was trial enough. I was supposed to read Middlemarch for my degree, but never made it past the first 10 pages or so (although that in itself doesn't say much about the author). I just cannot get on board with her prose style, she's just so fucking BORING!
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<puts back copy of Crimewave>
 
IntoStella said:
Any book by that smug cunt Sebastian Faulkes. AK tells me Birdsong is really good but I just can't give his books houseroom.

If I did, I might have to move to North London and start holding dinner parties. :eek:
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Birdsong is shite - Wilfred Owen with a ridiculous love story pegged on for no reason. Rubbish.
 
Another vote for James Joyce. Although PotAaaYM almost failed to make me want to kill him, the other bits that I have read amazingly manage to be far crapper.

I completely refuse to contemplate reading any post-modern theory too, especially Derrida. After reading empire I will henceforth refuse to even think about reading any further work by Negri or Hardt.

Lenin is hard to read too without wanting to beat the man with something large and heavy but I'm sad to say that I have read various of his droppings.
 
May Kasahara said:
Most if not all of whatever product is churned out by the literary high society who backslap each other in the Guardian Review section every Saturday: Zadie Smith, Monica Ali, Julian Barnes, blah blah blah blah blah bore me some more.
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You forgot Hanif fucking Kureishi.
 
IntoStella said:
Anything by anyone called Sophie. :mad:
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After seeing the titles of this woman's books, I was thinking maybe you're right, but then I thought of Sophie Grigson - she writes lovely cookery books
 
Stuff that begins like this: 'Jake woke up in a cold sweat. Where the hell was he and how in the name of God had it all come to this? A hotel, and a cheap one too, that much was for sure, but which jackammamy two-bit yellow whore-town was it? Manilla? Could be, Phnom Penn: nope he had got out of there before The Connection had found out what he was up to. No! Goddamit he had actually managed to make back to L.A in one piece but now he had to find Susan.... and the suitcase.
 
Orang Utan said:
After seeing the titles of this woman's books, I was thinking maybe you're right, but then I thought of Sophie Grigson - she writes lovely cookery books
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Cookery books don't count. Except ones written by anyone called Nigella. :mad:
 
Batley said:
Stuff that begins like this: 'Jake woke up in a cold sweat. Where the hell was he and how in the name of God had it all come to this? A hotel, and a cheap one too, that much was for sure, but which jackammamy two-bit yellow whore-town was it? Manilla? Could be, Phnom Penn: nope he had got out of there before The Connection had found out what he was up to. No! Goddamit he had actually managed to make back to L.A in one piece but now he had to find Susan.... and the suitcase.
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:D
 
Orang Utan said:
After seeing the titles of this woman's books, I was thinking maybe you're right...
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Haven't you seen her latest one yet?



cracka1.jpg


:eek:
 
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