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Block Porn pukka pads coming to Brixton

Discussion in 'Brixton' started by editor, Mar 28, 2017.

  1. phillm

    phillm Trolling through Life (TM)

    No beard must be the new hipster beard #buygillette
     
    Gramsci likes this.
  2. friendofdorothy

    friendofdorothy it is so much worse than Thatcherism now

    or throw up on their doorstep?
     
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  3. spanglechick

    spanglechick High Empress of Dressing Up

    That's a really odd definition of the word "porn", no?
     
    ddraig and Idaho like this.
  4. Idaho

    Idaho blah blah blah

    It's depressing that the level of idiocy of the seller will be easily matched to a number of potential buyers.
     
    Gramsci and bimble like this.
  5. Idaho

    Idaho blah blah blah

    It's like they are just making up bollocks because it makes no difference if it's nonsense.
     
    Gramsci, stockwelljonny and phillm like this.
  6. sealion

    sealion If you can't dance just nod your head

    Ironically aimed at Sheep
     
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  7. sealion

    sealion If you can't dance just nod your head

    upload_2017-3-30_11-20-9.jpeg
     
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  8. salem

    salem Well-Known Member

    I didn't notice that :D what bollocks. I was curious so googled their odd definition and it is lifted from urbandictionary - Urban Dictionary: Porn* - even urban dictionary users think it's a crap definition as it has 59 thumbs down and 13 thumbs up.

    And it's actually Porn* (maybe the astrix meant to be a star?)

    Could this be some kind of mocumentry in the making? It seems a little too perfectly shit.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
    Gramsci likes this.
  9. Idaho

    Idaho blah blah blah

    The stupid thing is that you really don't need all the bullshit to sell houses. They just have to look nice and be in a popular area. The "punk" marketing reduces rather than adds perceived value.
     
    Throbbing Angel and editor like this.
  10. EastEnder

    EastEnder Brixton Barnacle

    Whilst you are quite right, I suspect in this instance they're trying to go full on wankfest due to the nature of the proposed properties - they don't look like they'll be nice, and they're not in the best area - so they've got to sell them on some other basis.

    You don't sell a turd by saying "erm, sorry about this, but would you like to buy a turd?". You have to say "Hey guys! Look at this AWESOME turd!! You know you WANT it, OH YEAH!!! etc".

    Still a turd though.
     
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  11. Idaho

    Idaho blah blah blah

    In London even turd property sells for a packet.
     
  12. phillm

    phillm Trolling through Life (TM)

    Sober and in the cold light of day this looks even shittier than it did last night. I imagine they are reading this and revelling in the edginess of it all. Don't know what's worse the cunts who make them or the cunts that buy them. FUCK YOU.

     
  13. editor

    editor Taffus Maximus

    Thing is that they're plain lying in their press releases: it's not in the 'heart of Brixton' neither is it “Bang In The Middle Of Brixton Village".
     
  14. EastEnder

    EastEnder Brixton Barnacle

    Yeah that bit really is beyond the pale!

    I can only assume their sense of geography comes from the former South Chelsea School of English, opposite the tube...:D

    college.jpg
     
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  15. T & P

    T & P |-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

    Everybody knows Battersea is South Chelsea :mad:
     
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  16. planetgeli

    planetgeli There's no future in England's dreaming

    Nathan Barley gets real. "No such word as can't in our company". No. Plenty of cunts though I'd imagine. Also, your blurb uses the word 'today' twice in one sentence (with a load of trendy place-name drops in between).

    So you need a proof reader too.

    Cunts.
     
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  17. phillm

    phillm Trolling through Life (TM)

    They need to max out the concept by having Brew Dog metered and on tap. The people section of their website is url'ed as theman as in 'sticking it to the..'. Looks like gak central from where they cooked up most of their ideas in a bean bag imaginarium. There are two other literal 'arrises' in the company but of course (pardon the pun) they all are - so like Trump he is keeping it in the family.

    Mark Harris - the main gaffer looks like some offcut from a Guy Richie Laandaan movie - though obviously I wouldn't say it to his boat ...innit. Plus every sentence that includes them should end in CUNTS. CUNTS.

    [​IMG]
    Mark Harris – Founder and CEO

    Mark Harris is a successful entrepreneur. Vanquish ID is one of the most exciting and innovative property development companies in London today. Run by CEO/Founder, Mark and his creative team. Apparently we live in an 'off the cuff city' whatever that is.

    “We are a company that has a unique identity and ethos, an identity born on the creative environment that surrounds us today in Shoreditch, Soho, New York and trendy, hip and off-the-cuff cities throughout the world today. Property development should be creative, not bland, boring or ‘for sale’ with the same old luxury heading. At Vanquish, we design eccentric, for those that want to live, feel and be different. We really are unique in what we do.…and in what you will own.”



    Another of the rogues gallery - which includes the teenage manque William Hague wannabee
    [​IMG]
    Calum Harris

    Company History - Vanquish ID

    CUNTS.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
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  18. editor

    editor Taffus Maximus

    He's tiny!
     
  19. I am guessing that 17 year old Calum is a relative
     
  20. Throbbing Angel

    Throbbing Angel Current Status: back for a bit

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  21. phillm

    phillm Trolling through Life (TM)

    Gordon Benett - one day my sahn - you'll have a gaff of yer own - and it will be well pukka , off-the-cuff , mint-crispy block-porn stylee...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
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  22. phillm

    phillm Trolling through Life (TM)

    reckon his sahn - innit - well Jared Kushner
     
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  23. BigMoaner

    BigMoaner Don't kill the lion

    the blocks look well weapon.
     
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  24. BigMoaner

    BigMoaner Don't kill the lion

    you just know their offices have got huddle dream zone corners with a table tennis table on the ceiling and a coffee pod that massages your dreams or something, or some such shit. wankers.
     
  25. CH1

    CH1 "Red Guard"(NLYL)

    I've got a Battersea phone number - in Coldharbour Lane.
     
  26. BigMoaner

    BigMoaner Don't kill the lion

    distressed wood - check
    exposed brickwork - check
    industrial pipe work exposed - check
    use of working class street slang - check
    graffitti - check
    ironic chandelier - check

    #edgy #creative #hereuntilkidsreachschoolagethenofftoSurrey
     
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  27. BigMoaner

    BigMoaner Don't kill the lion

    the more bricks you expose the more you get to feel like a struggling edgy artists in eighties Berlin.
    the more industrial pipes you expose the more "underground" you feel.
     
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  28. Idaho

    Idaho blah blah blah

    Admit it, you designed the marketing concept :D
     
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  29. Gramsci

    Gramsci Well-Known Member

    I bump into people like this in my day job. They feel they're on the cutting edge of dynamic creative entrepreneurial cosmopolitan London. Reckon they are socially liberal. They of course want London to be "diverse" and for all. In fact they are just another bunch of property developers like Barretts.

    Would think that the changes in Brixton , whilst it's unfortunate that some have lost out, are all for the good. If only misery guts like me , who haven't pulled themselves up by there bootstraps and been entrepreneurial like them, would see it.
     
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