bicycle fight thread

[geminisnake]

or just look at it...

...maybe ride it...

you bloody ignoramous

You can get very light steel frames duh!!

Not an ignoramous, just don't like pushbikes Put an engine in it for goodness sake.

 

[Sigmund Fraud]

The great thing about your list is it does highlight your tendency to talk out of your hole.

Merino is the fucking material of the gods - warm when cold, cool when warm, and doesn't loose all insulation when cold. Oh, and after a day on the ride, you don't stink like all fuck. Camelbacks? What the cocking cock are you mooking about you ignorant gimp - you like to lick grit off bottles before having a drink...oh fuck, my mistake, I forgot you were a road based pissant feared to stray off the flat. Well, for anyone who's not feartie about leaving the tarmac, they're a rather splendid idea. Helmets? Fucking helmets? OK, in your case I see why protecting the skull is a tad on the futile side, but for everyone with a functioning cortex they serve a purpose.

Oh look - somemone who misunderstood the light hearted nature of the thread - well glory be

 

[Lemon Eddy]

Oh look - somemone who misunderstood the light hearted nature of the thread - well glory be

Posted in a thread called bicycle fight thread, I'd hoped that the above was fairly obviously cod-aggression. If that was not, then I apologise.

So, apologies (along with heartfelt relief I'd omitted some of the stuff that I wrote then thought "nah, that's ott mate")

 

[Boycey]

back to the thread plz.

biopace, gripshift- especially shimano's pisspoor interpretation and the sachs sacks of shit with the pointy bits, wheel reflectors, mail order bicycle shaped objects, unified rear triangles, fucking horst links, 2 wheel worm drive, 8 speed screw on freewheels, fuck it- all screw on freewheels, gear indicators, anodised nipples, those fluffy bands you can put round your hub body to clean it while you ride- why the fuck do you care so much about keeping the hub body clean on a shit rusting tourer encrusted with barnacles and shite i do not know tubeless tyres, bullet/dice/skull valve caps, stickers comparing your bike to sex you've never had, white tyres, latex inner tubes (it's fucking porous!!!!!!!), fucking rod brakes!!1!1!!!!!11

 

[Orang Utan]

now, you're just making all that up, aren't you?

 

[weepiper]

those fluffy bands you can put round your hub body to clean it while you ride- why the fuck do you care so much about keeping the hub body clean on a shit rusting tourer encrusted with barnacles and shite i do not know

moar like this plz

 

[Sigmund Fraud]

Posted in a thread called bicycle fight thread, I'd hoped that the above was fairly obviously cod-aggression. If that was not, then I apologise.

So, apologies (along with heartfelt relief I'd omitted some of the stuff that I wrote then thought "nah, that's ott mate")

fair enough

 

[weepiper]

singlespeed (ride fixed you soppy cunt)

Confession: I was eyeing up a bike with a flipflop hub in Edinburgh Bicycle today and if I bought it I'd be riding it on the freewheel side

of course I couldn't possibly, because I would get the piss endlessly ripped out of me by the other guys at my shop for a) buying a Co-op bike and b) riding it with the freewheel side not fixed

 

[Sigmund Fraud]

Confession: I was eyeing up a bike with a flipflop hub in Edinburgh Bicycle today and if I bought it I'd be riding it on the freewheel side

Confession - I was thinking of building this sort of fixed / single cyclocross thing until last weekend.

 

[Boycey]

now, you're just making all that up, aren't you?

every single one of those exists, or at least has existed.

 

[Lemon Eddy]

tubeless tyres

Just fuck off. Tubeless tyres are a fucking godsend for any bastard tired of fixing pinch flats.

More worthy contenders for hatred. Anyone concerned with bike aesthetics. Oh, and people who ditch reliable working systems because they're too lazy to learn how to do bike maintenance. Fixies, for fucks sake. Just learn how to fucking service simple mechanical shit and you can ride a proper bike.

 

[weepiper]

More worthy contenders for hatred. Anyone concerned with bike aesthetics. Oh, and people who ditch reliable working systems because they're too lazy to learn how to do bike maintenance. Fixies, for fucks sake. Just learn how to fucking service simple mechanical shit and you can ride a proper bike.

what about if you fucking service simple mechanic shit at work all day and fancy a bike that doesn't require you to look after it on your day off, eh, eh?

 

[Orang Utan]

Just fuck off. Tubeless tyres are a fucking godsend for any bastard tired of fixing pinch flats.

More worthy contenders for hatred. Anyone concerned with bike aesthetics. Oh, and people who ditch reliable working systems because they're too lazy to learn how to do bike maintenance. Fixies, for fucks sake. Just learn how to fucking service simple mechanical shit and you can ride a proper bike.

what if you just want to ride a bike and not bother with boring maintenance shit?

 

[Boycey]

Just fuck off. Tubeless tyres are a fucking godsend for any bastard tired of fixing pinch flats.

Spoiler: incidentally i found this while searching for the image above and i think that's you on the right on your oh-so-hardcore-let's-oooofff-road! URT equipped slag wagon

http://www.indymedia.ie/attachments/aug2007/bike.jpg[/spoiler]

[QUOTE="Lemon Eddy, post: 8436253"]More worthy contenders for hatred. Anyone concerned with bike aesthetics. Oh, and people who ditch reliable working systems because they're too lazy to learn how to do bike maintenance. Fixies, for fucks sake. Just learn how to fucking service simple mechanical shit and you can ride a proper bike.[/QUOTE]

being an ugly cunt is no reason to be ignorant of beauty.

 

[Lemon Eddy]

what if you just want to ride a bike and not bother with boring maintenance shit?

Oh aye, that's a fucking great theory.

"what if I want to ride a fucking inefficient device for a couple of hours a day, just to spare me from an hours maintenance a month"

Fixies are for people too thick/lazy to check gears and brakes. They just hide it through shite nonsense about purity and feel. Fuck me, a device where I have to pedal when rolling downhill. Aye, that's sensible.

 

[Orang Utan]

i don't care for fixies, but i don't care for maintenance and greasy fingers either, so i pay the man down the shop to do all that for me.

 

[Lemon Eddy]

being an ugly cunt is no reason to be ignorant of beauty.

You're on a bike, worried about how it looks, and you reckon I'm fucking ugly?

May I modestly suggest that if you really are that concerned about your bike being a work of svelte, minimal beauty, it's because you need somethine out of the pair of you not to look like a bloaty sack of shit.

 

[tommers]

Oh aye, that's a fucking great theory.

"what if I want to ride a fucking inefficient device for a couple of hours a day, just to spare me from an hours maintenance a month"

Fixies are for people too thick/lazy to check gears and brakes. They just hide it through shite nonsense about purity and feel. Fuck me, a device where I have to pedal when rolling downhill. Aye, that's sensible.

I think I may love you.

 

[Lemon Eddy]

i don't care for fixies, but i don't care for maintenance and greasy fingers either, so i pay the man down the shop to do all that for me.

Be a man. Learn how to survive without someone wiping your arse for you.

Can I just say I'm fucking loving this thread. Now, my fixie loving fools, come bring it.

 

[Orang Utan]

Be a man. Learn how to survive without someone wiping your arse for you.

Can I just say I'm fucking loving this thread. Now, my fixie loving fools, come bring it.

haha be a man fuck off! i'm a lazy man

 

[weepiper]

Now, my fixie loving fools, come bring it.

I can't claim to be a fixie lover, in fact I'm slightly ashamed and feel a bit soiled to have been thinking seriously about one because they're just so desperately trendy just now, but out of the 7 other mechanics at the shop I work at, 4 ride a fixie to work, which sort of pisses all over your theory that only people who're too thick to adjust gears ride them

 

[Wolveryeti]

Be a man. Learn how to survive without someone wiping your arse for you.

Real men don't need front brakes - they break with their LEG MUSCLES instead. They don't need to rest going downhill, because resting is for JESSIES - one of which you clearly are. And they don't want to maintain their bike, not because it's hard, but because they might accidentally snap the frame in half from how strong and awesome they are.

Now piss off, weed.

 

[Lemon Eddy]

but out of the 7 other mechanics at the shop I work at, 4 ride a fixie to work, which sort of pisses all over your theory that only people who're too thick to adjust gears ride them

Or it suggests that people who spend their days fixing/maintaining bikes don't want to take their fucking work home. I can almost sympathize. Right up to the point I fucking blitz past them on an uphill. Or a downhill. Or are you really claiming one gear gives you a decent speed for both?

Nope, didn't think so. Now, tell your boys to fucking grow up and stop noncing.

 

[weepiper]

Or it suggests that people who spend their days fixing/maintaining bikes don't want to take their fucking work home. I can almost sympathize. Right up to the point I fucking blitz past them on an uphill. Or a downhill. Or are you really claiming one gear gives you a decent speed for both?

Nope, didn't think so. Now, tell your boys to fucking grow up and stop noncing.

One of them's a Scottish Track champ with thighs the size of my waist so I'd be heartily surprised if you did

 

[Lemon Eddy]

Real men don't need front brakes - they break with their LEG MUSCLES instead. They don't need to rest going downhill, because resting is for JESSIES - one of which you clearly are. And they don't want to maintain their bike, not because it's hard, but because they might accidentally snap the frame in half from how strong and awesome they are.

Now piss off, weed.

Fuck me. The tedium. It...someone help me out, what is the opposite of burns.

Real men? If you're looking to claim virility out of braking from skidding, may I suggest that you need to look at some of those herbal viagra emails flooding your inbox? Seriously, you reckon that having a device so fucking inefficient you have to twirl like fuck to roll down a hill somehow gives you a claim to masculinity? Do you piss sitting down or something?

You've bought into some flat-earth shite fashion trend that suggests that tieing yourself to one ratio is somehow a purer thing to do as a cyclist. I seriously wish they'd gone the whole hog and suggested bicycle seats were also just an effete affection. That would at least have fucking precluded these idiots from breeding, and limited their stupidity to one generation.

 

[geminisnake]

One of them's a Scottish Track champ with thighs the size of my waist so I'd be heartily surprised if you did

LOL

 

[Lemon Eddy]

One of them's a Scottish Track champ with thighs the size of my waist so I'd be heartily surprised if you did

Of course he's got thighs the fucking size of your waist. The dumb twat is busting a valve each time he hits an incline greater than 1:10. Do you reckon there's a reason they don't use fixies in the TdF? On a fixie he can have thighs the size of a fucking clydesdale, and he's still going to end up in a poor second place to the wimpy lad on a decent bike.

 

[weepiper]

Of course he's got thighs the fucking size of your waist. The dumb twat is busting a valve each time he hits an incline greater than 1:10. Do you reckon there's a reason they don't use fixies in the TdF? On a fixie he can have thighs the size of a fucking clydesdale, and he's still going to end up in a poor second place to the wimpy lad on a decent bike.

bet you can't trackstand.

 

[Lemon Eddy]

Bet I fucking can. By the same token though, I don't fucking gurn about at a set of lights for 3 minutes trying to keep a trackstand on. I unclip and put a foot down.

There's a certain hairshirt puritanism to cycling that really must be addressed head on. Aye, simple is good...but fuck me, it's a bicycle. Even the most complex models can be understood with 10 minutes of explanation*. Turning your back on the developments of the last 50 years just to claim a "purer than thou" moral advantage really does deserve a fucking slap.


* excluding constellation gear systems, the fucking nightmarish bastards.

 

[Wolveryeti]

Do you piss sitting down or something?

I piss on the graves of MY ENEMIES while being serenaded by THE WAILING OF THEIR WIDOWS.

You've bought into some flat-earth shite fashion trend that suggests that tieing yourself to one ratio is somehow a purer thing to do as a cyclist. I seriously wish they'd gone the whole hog and suggested bicycle seats were also just an effete affection. That would at least have fucking precluded these idiots from breeding, and limited their stupidity to one generation.

You are just jealous that your bitch ass has to trundle up hills, gears screeching like a poundshop R2-D2, while better men breeze past you on their fixies, barely breaking a sweat and laughing at your pathetic exertions. You probably have a stairlift fitted at home and all, you dick.