Best swear in a film or tv programme

[D'wards]

Dave:Yes, indeed! Good morning, my name?s Dave Clifton, and there goes Alan Partridge, cone but not forgotten!
[Alan forces an appreciative groan, and laughs.]
Dave:You off to see a film, like Cone-an the Barbarian?
Alan:[Slightly annoyed, but still playing along] Yeah, good one.
Dave: Then watch a bit of TV, eh? Like Cone Dancing?
Alan: Yeah. Not so good, but fine.
Dave:Oh, come on Alan. What?s the matter with you? Cone't you take a joke?
Alan: Oh, fuck off.

 

[spartacus mills]

'Withnail & I' has loads as already mentioned.
My favourite tv swear is from John Lydon broadcast live on 'I'm a Celebrity...'. AntDec had just told him that the British public hadn't voted him off to which he replied ''The fucking cunts". Oh, Oscar Wilde!

Also the phone-in on kids show 'Saurday Superstore': "Matt Bianco? What a bunch of wankers!".

 

[elevendayempire]

'Withnail & I' has loads as already mentioned.

"'I fuck arses'. Who fucks arses? Maybe he fucks arses, maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity..."

SG

 

[CyberRose]

The episode of Father Ted with the sheep contest has me in stitches when he's explaining everything at the end and when the crowds gasp at the revelations you can hear someone in the back ground saying "feckin' hell!"

Also from The League of Gentlemen when they're playin Trivial Pursuits and he says "alright here's your question then you stupid twat!"

 

[scumbalina]

Up Your Bum! (Wish You Were Here)

 

[Sigmund Fraud]

Also the phone-in on kids show 'Saurday Superstore': "Matt Bianco? What a bunch of wankers!".

That was my classmate Mike. He gained infamy in our town for that phone call. Still cracks me up thinking about it

 

[Biffo]

That was my classmate Mike. He gained infamy in our town for that phone call. Still cracks me up thinking about it

National infamy I would say. Mike rocks

 

[colbhoy]

when david brent tells finchy to fuck off in the office

Yeah, and he says "Chris, fuck off!" from memory. Only time he has ever called him Chris and not Finchy, a sure sign that he is majorly pissed off at him.

 

[colbhoy]

Pulp Fiction

Originally Posted by Honey Buny
Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!

And when you hear the same line at the end of the film, the words have slightly changed to:

Any of you fucking pricks move and I'll execute every one of you motherfuckers!

 

[Salo]

Nil By Mouth - terrible language in that. Lot of feffing and jeffing.

 

[sojourner]

Camomile Lawn 1992 Channel 4 when one of the characters (the name escapes me) says to Calypso, 'We all thought what a cunt you were for marrying Hector'.

Yeh, I remember that. I loved the Camomile Lawn

Or possibly when Caractacus Potts says to Truly Scrumptious, 'Get that fucking lollipop outta my face you simpering cunt' in Chitty Chitty Bang bang The Directors Cut.

 

[sojourner]

"You dirty fuckin' rotter."

Steve Jones, shirley?

 

[sojourner]

Is this limited to film and tv then? Cos I'd vote for owt by Derek and Clive - you couldn't fit any more swearing in

 

[Sir Belchalot]

Was fond of this one when I was a nipper:
"Shit! Piss! Fuck!" by the mayor in 'The Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three'.

 

[stavros]

Steve Jones, shirley?

Yeah, might've been actually.

 

[stevepinker]

Not sweary but still a fav deadwood quote

Hearst: But I should say too that in these rooms just this afternoon such displeasure brought me near to murdering the Sheriff and raping Mrs. Ellsworth. I have learned through time, Mr. Tolliver, and as repeatedly seem to forget that whatever temporary comfort relieving my displeasure brings me, my long-term interests suffer. My proper traffic is with the earth. In my dealings with people, I ought solely have to do with niggers and whites who obey me like dogs.

Cy: If he hadn’t meant me to wag it, Sir, why would the Lord give me a tail?

 

[Cloo]

All I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.'

 

[DRINK?]

There's a few good un's in departed or the departed, whatever it out at the moment...not a bad flick as it goes either

 

[Dan U]

theres a whole scene in the first season of The Wire where all the dialogue is a variation on fuck, fuck me, fucks sake etc as two of the police check a murder scene.

its how they say so much with the inotations etc

 

[pk]

Lenny McClean, in "Lock, Stock..." trying to hook up the video link for the card game.

 

[sumimasen]

Shaun of the Dead, when the main character in the pub admits to his girlfriend that yeah, his mate can sometimes be a bit too much but he's alright though.. Cue his mate coming to the table as polite as can be

"Would any of you cunts like a drink?"

 

[D'wards]

Shaun of the Dead, when the main character in the pub admits to his girlfriend that yeah, his mate can sometimes be a bit too much but he's alright though.. Cue his mate coming to the table as polite as can be

"Would any of you cunts like a drink?"

Forgot about that - its a great swear that.

Anyone seen that film Mystery Train? It has Joe Strummer in it and his first line is "Fucking Bollocks". Not bad British swearing since it is set in Memphis

 

[Urbane Worrier]

from Mean Streets again......

Pool Room Owner is being shaken down for protection monies due by DeNiro and his chums.

Pro:"I ain't gonna pay 'cause (pointing) this guys a mook."

general consternation:"Who's a mook?" "What's a mook?" "You can't call me a fuckin' mook!"

A fight ensues.

I still use the expression.

 

[Roxy641]

Farscape swear word

"Frell" (as used in "Farscape") but if you
want a real one...
Any scene in "The Young Ones", esp.
if it is pre-emptied by the words "Utter, utter"

Roxy641

 

[scifisam]

Also the phone-in on kids show 'Saurday Superstore': "Matt Bianco? What a bunch of wankers!".

Going Live, a teenage phone-in to Five Star: Why are you so fucking shit?

The first thirty words or so of Four Weddings and a Funeral are swear words, uttered as one thing after another goes wrong. Later in the same film, 'fuck-a-doodle-do' when he sees Carrie getting married, and his swearing and shouting in the vestry just before going to stand at the altar - 'voice exercises.' Good film for swearing, that one.

 

[mwgdrwg]

A nice reply to a genius insult in The Big Lebowski

WALTER "Show me what you got. Nihilist. Dipshit with a nine-toed woman.

DIETER "I FUCK YOU! I FUCK YOU!"

 

[RockandorRoll]

All you motherfuckers are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all fucking next.

Love,

Jay and Silent Bob


..Should probably explain thats in Jay and Silent Bob Strikes back. Yes i'm an immature enough stoner to enjoy that kind of comedy.

 

[Guineveretoo]

The opening lines of Four Weddings and a Funeral. Don't they go something like:

Hugh Grant: Fuck!
Charlotte Coleman: Fuck!
Hugh Grant: Fuckety Fuck!
Charlotte Coleman: Fuck!

 

[Andy the Don]

John Aldridge & Jack Charlton to the 4th official & FIFA "blazer" Republic of Ireland v Mexico World Cup 1994..

John Aldridge (sorry cannot do scouse accent): you fucking cheating fuck..

 

[Juice Terry]

Shaun Ryder - TFI Friday - Pretty Fucking Vacant

All the better as it happened whist he was banned from all live interviews on Channel 4 due to his profanity last time on the show