Best rhyming couplets evah

[Kaka Tim]

God Save the Queen
The Fascist Regime.

Had a Love affair with Nina
In the back of my Cortina
A seasoned up Hyena
Could not be more obscener.

 

[The_Reverend_M]

My mental fabric too big for Lenny Kravitz,
Who imitates Jimmy Hendrix in every facet

- Edan

 

[stavros]

"Fuck you hoe,
Don't call me no more."

DJ Assault (repeated many times)

 

[blairsh]

"Her crimson lips lick my wounds
Her tongue tastes the claret
My pain is vintage, her comfort is twenty-four carat"

 

[Vintage Paw]

I've read Karl Marx
And taught myself to dance

lol

 

[stavros]

"I don't smoke weed or sess, 'cos it's known to give a brother brain damage,
And brain damage on the mike don't manage."

Loved for the irony that it's spoken by a man who then released what's essentially a concept album all about cannabis.

 

[stavros]

I've got "36 Chambers" on at the moment, and that's got some fantastic lines on it;

"Raw I'm gonna give it to you, with no trivia
Raw like cocaine straight from Bolivia"

"Here I go, deep type flow
Jacque Cousteau could never get this low.."

And this I think is my favourite, spat with raw aplomb by the GZA;

"I break loops, and trample shit, while I stomp!
A mudhole in that ass, cause I'm straight out the swamp"

 

[ericjarvis]

It's not actually a couplet as such, but my favourite rhyming sequence is from Pete Atkin's Live Libel Album. Black Funk Rex, with lyrics by Clive James.

"But the rhythm's got one lick
So flatulently slick
It's guaranteed to make you sick
And the drummer's got one stick
But he hits you like a kick
In the stomach from a hick
Serving ten years in the nick
And the singer is a prick
With a breath-bereaving trick
Of twitching like a chick
Who gives her bum a flick
Like a giant facial tick
And you couldn't call 'em quick
In fact they're thicker than a brick
But when they all turn up the wick

It brings the tots
Screaming up out of their prams and cots"

 

[Red Horse]

Niggaz want me dead but they scared to step to me
Rip they guts out like a hysterectomy

 

[northeastoipunk]

my cocks like a prize marrow
carry it about in a wheel barrow

and from same song

got bollocks like two cannon balls
as they bang together in me smalls

sorry trev couldnt resist lol

 

[Mungy]

i did a funny one the other day:-

I was watching zoo lane and doodle do
that chris bloke told a joke that was funny
I laughed so much that I followed through.

It's my favourite song of the moment.

 

[alsoknownas]

"You know we gotta do it like Chachi and Joanie,
Cos she's the cheese and I'm the macaroni"

Beastie Boys - Get It Together

 

[chazegee]

What the Hell is irony
I don't know
But I bet it's fucking clever
but you'll never get the better
of a Cheetah
Cos they fuckin fast
I break they fucking legs
Just to fuck that arse.

 

[stupid dogbot]

It's hard to pick just one Dessa lyric, tbh...

It seems we've fallen out of favor, the era ended on us
Now the money's just paper, the houses all haunted
We had a hell of a run before it caught up
For all the corners cut we got an avalanche of sawdust

Life of the party, we're death of the novel
The glass is half-empty so pass the next bottle
It's flight of the salesman, death of the bumblebee
Nothing left for the attorneys and the tumbleweeds

 

[D'wards]

Son, i'm thirty
I only went with your mother cos she's dirty

 

[chazegee]

"You know we gotta do it like Chachi and Joanie,
Cos she's the cheese and I'm the macaroni"

Beastie Boys - Get It Together

What! It was Q Tip saying Ad Rock's down with the Ioni (Skye)

 

[corporate whore]

He's not your everyday-type prankster
I'm Ice-T, the original gangster.

 

[Y_I_Otter]

It amazes me that organs that piss
Can give human beings such perfect bliss.

-Irving Layton

 

[D'wards]

Over there there's broken bones
There's only music so thats there new ringtones

 

[Lionman]

Which is totally irrelevant
Blueberry elephant

What's this from? I know I know it but can't place it & google is giving me nothing. I want to say Buck 65?


I've always been a fan of

'Baby, I'm hot just like an oven
I need some lovin'

 

[Lionman]

Wu Tang 36 Chambers lyrics

Not really a couplet but my favourite moment on that whole album is

"Rough like Timberland wear, YEAH!"

 

[stupid dogbot]

"I used to work at Mickey D's
And to my old buster-ass manager, licky deez!"



Boots Riley, from Busterismology, by the Coup.

 

[stupid dogbot]

And whilst we're on the subject of Boots...

"Microsoft motherfuckers let bygones be bygones,
But since I'm Macintosh, I'mma double-click your icon"

 

[Cloo]

1st Transmission by Earthling has some classics, especially its opening lines:

I'm rock, I'm roll, I'm Nat King Cole
I'm Shostakovich, jammin' in a fishbowl

 

[Mrs Magpie]

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.


We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment.
Except for the few we take home to experiment.



both from 'Poisoning Pigeons In The Park' by Tom Lehrer

 

[Mrs Magpie]

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.


We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment.
Except for the few we take home to experiment.



both from 'Poisoning Pigeons In The Park' by Tom Lehrer

 

[A Dashing Blade]

"She was just seventeen
You know what I mean"

encapsulates the whole thing.

 

[fishfinger]

Your words are empty hollow bleatings of a mental crutch
They're open-festered indigestion with a velvet touch

 

[stavros]

"Walkin' down the street somethin' caught my eye,
A growin' epidemic that really ain't fly,
This middle aged lady, I gotta be blunt,
Her Spanish biker shorts were creepin' up the front."

Fannypack - "Camel Toe"

 

[stavros]

"He flies through the air with the greatest of ease,
That daring young man in the blue dungarees."

Carter USM - "Look Mum, No Hands"