Best Red Dwarf Quotes

Discussion in 'books, films, TV, radio & writing' started by dshl, May 5, 2018.

  1. dshl

    dshl Well-Known Member

    Sorry, this is for the middle-aged:

    RImmer: Is something amiss?

    Lister: Amiss? God no, what could possibly be amiss?

    RImmer: You don't think there's anything amiss? I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked gingham dress and army boots and you think that's un-amiss?

    Cat: No, of course not. It's just that we thought you'd gone nuts!
    Last edited: May 5, 2018
    CNT36, Artaxerxes and Ax^ like this.
  2. SpookyFrank

    SpookyFrank We kill the flame

    'Today's fish is trout a la creme, enjoy your meal.'
    A380, Artaxerxes and Ptolemy like this.
  3. maomao

    maomao 四月她爹

    Whatever the BBC comedy controller said when they rejected plans for a ninth series.
    nogojones, S☼I, Dom Traynor and 3 others like this.
  4. mrs quoad

    mrs quoad Well-Known Member

    Was it only nine?

    Somehow felt like it dragged on much longer.

    Slowly, slowly refusing to die.
  5. maomao

    maomao 四月她爹

    It's still going on "Dave" whatever that is.
  6. BoxRoom

    BoxRoom Flip.

    They're all dead, Dave.
  7. Santino

    Santino lovelier than lovely

    It's a free-to-view television channel available via sigital or satellite services, m'lud.
  8. magneze

    magneze mnemonic beef

    D d d d d d d d d good head

    Works better in video.
  9. dessiato

    dessiato Ua Mau ke Ea o ka ʻĀina i ka Pono

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
    alex_, AmeliaE and magneze like this.
  10. D'wards

    D'wards I'm an excellent driver

  11. blairsh

    blairsh Biscuitville

  12. cybershot

    cybershot Well-Known Member

    Does anyone want any toast?
  13. DexterTCN

    DexterTCN Well-Known Member

    Ok...and I'm not going to deny google may have helped...

    And also something about the potato king, something about the justice planet and getting fucked over the head with a shovel and generally for its time* being absolutely awesome.

    *now gone
    treefrog and Artaxerxes like this.
  14. The Octagon

    The Octagon Stop...Hammertime

    "We are talking jape of the decade. We are talking April, May, June, July and August fool.

    That's right. I am Queeg"
    A380, treefrog, aqua and 6 others like this.
  15. AmeliaE

    AmeliaE from Wisconsin, USA

    This is mine. That is mine. All this is mine. Except that. I don't want that bit.
    May Kasahara, A380, treefrog and 3 others like this.
  16. Mrs Miggins

    Mrs Miggins There's been a slight cheese accident

    I loved Red Dwarf at the time but if these are the best quotes that people can come up with, man it must have actually been shit.
    treefrog, imposs1904, tim and 3 others like this.
  17. cybershot

    cybershot Well-Known Member

    RIMMER: The distress call. Why d'you say "Mayday?" It's only a Bank Holiday. Why not "Shrove Tuesday" or "Ascension Sunday?" (Mimics)
    Ascension Sunday! Ascension Sunday! The fifteenth Wednesday after Pentecost! The fifteenth Wednesday after Pentecost!
    treefrog likes this.
  18. AmeliaE

    AmeliaE from Wisconsin, USA

  19. krtek a houby

    krtek a houby this means nothing to me

    Red Dwarf - one of those shows that works better on screen than on paper.
  20. AmeliaE

    AmeliaE from Wisconsin, USA

    LISTER: Cat?
    CAT: Mmm?
    LISTER: Ya ever see the Flintstones?
    CAT: Sure!
    LISTER: D'ya think Wilma's sexy?
    CAT: Wilma Flintstone?
    LISTER: Maybe we've been alone in deep space too long, but every time I
    see that sharmi body, it drives me crazy. Is it me?
    CAT: Well, I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most
    desirable woman that ever lived.
    LISTER: That's good. I thought I was goin' strange.
    CAT: She's incredible!
    LISTER: What d'ya think of Betty?
    CAT: Betty Rubble? (Pause) Well, I would go with Betty... but I'd be
    thinking of Wilma.
    LISTER: This is crazy. Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma
    CAT: You're right. We're nuts. This is an insane conversation.
    LISTER: She'll never leave Fred, and we know it.
  21. AmeliaE

    AmeliaE from Wisconsin, USA

    Gazpacho ....
    A380 and dessiato like this.
  22. Cloo

    Cloo Surfeit of lampreys

    What Mr Flibble? We couldn't possibly do that... Who'd clean up the mess?
    dessiato, AmeliaE and Vintage Paw like this.
  23. Crispy

    Crispy The following psytrance is baṉned: All

    With a different cast, Red Dwarf could have been a lot worse. I like it, despite and because if its teenage humour, cos it took (some of) it's sci-fi ideas seriously and mined those for comedy, rather than them just being window dressing on a bog standard sitcom. No other show could have done Backwards, for example.

    Oh hang on, a quote then.

    "When in Rome, do as the Snamor do."
    May Kasahara, A380, treefrog and 3 others like this.
  24. magneze

    magneze mnemonic beef

    So, what is it?
  25. Dandred

    Dandred Mmmmm Beer!

    Smeg off
    dessiato likes this.
  26. AmeliaE

    AmeliaE from Wisconsin, USA

    Call it extreme if you like, but I propose we hit it hard and we hit it fast with a major - and I mean major - leaflet campaign.
  27. Zapp Brannigan

    Zapp Brannigan Built like a steakhouse, handles like a bistro

    Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society.
  28. dessiato

    dessiato Ua Mau ke Ea o ka ʻĀina i ka Pono

    Danny Jon-Jules plays officer Dwayne Myers in Death in Paradise. I can't help but think of Duane Dibbley.
    treefrog likes this.
  29. Mungy

    Mungy i haz boobz

    I had a short audio clip on my Amiga (yes, it was many moons ago) that I played on a loop for an hour or more because I was very stoned. It went like this:

    Kryten: Sir, they've taken Mr Rimmer.
    Cat: Quick, let's get out of here, before they bring him back.

    Though it was about 25 years ago, it never really went away :D
  30. AmeliaE

    AmeliaE from Wisconsin, USA

    If there is no Silicon Heaven, then where do all the calculators go?

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