*Takes deep breath, jabs pipe at young'un*
That, my friend is a long story. Sitting comfortably?
First applied for a line back at the beginning of September. Got my MAC code from Pipex, all is well, waiting for BT to activate ADSL2 equipment in Tulse Hill.
Couple of weeks pass, not to worry, I expected it to be sluggish at first - new company, new technology, new automated systems with BT, it's still a trial period etc etc. Company still has goodwill on it's side.
Towards end of September I notice that my MAC code is going to run out in a week or so.
Raise a ticket in their online support area telling them that I'm a bit concerned that it will expire, and should I realistically ask for a new one.
It states on the site that tickets will be answered "within four hours".
Three days later and no reply. Call the customer support number. Welcome to the Indian call centre! Where all they can do! Is very cheerfully repeat! Things you already know! Ah, but will I need a new MAC code? No sir! It will be fine!
Yeah right. Three days later get email saying, "Dear customer, your MAC code has expired, therefore your order has been cancelled."
No shit! Really? Um, okay, back to square one. Request new MAC code. Send it to Be. Get confirmation that it has been changed.
Then get reply to my ticket. Apparently it was BT's fault. Isn't it always? And because it was BT's fault, they're going to press on using the old MAC code. I tell them it probably isn't a good idea, and sit back for a week to wait for a reply.
Week later, get a reply. BT don't like my old MAC code. REALLY? NO SHIT! I could have told you that, in fact, come to think of it... I DID!
Point this out. This time get a response within 5 days! More apologies, more finger pointing at BT, and a promise that my line will be activated on the 11th of November. The day after my second MAC code expires. Hmm, a bit tight there, but hey! What can I do?
So, the big day comes... and passes. On the 12th, I get an email congratulating me on recieving my new modem, and telling me I will be connected on the 17th. New modem? No, haven't recieved that, and actually, it looks like I was connected yesterday, as I no longer have internet access, though I can see a connection to my exchange through my existing router.
Call India. So Sir, congratulations on recieving your new modem!! No. I haven't got it. But sir, it says dispatched here! When you say "dispatched" do you mean it's actually on it's way to me? Yes Sir! It is being prepared for dispatch! At our manufacturers! So it hasn't been "dispatched" really has it? Yes Sir! It is dispatched to you! Within 48 hours!
Okay, whatever. I'll wait. Can I just check the delivery address you have, heh, call me a pessimist, but I don't want to put anything to chance.
Okay Sir! No problem!
Last Friday, get an email with a tracking link so I can see where my modem is. "Not despatched yet". Really? To be honest, I wasn't expecting it this week, so, never mind. Monday AM. "Dispatched. Confirmed for delivery. Monday PM. Returned to Mitcham Depot. Incorrect address.
ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! Call an excruciatingly cheerful India. Hello Sir!! Why. Did. You. Send. It. To. The. WRONGFUCKINGADDRESS??? Not so cheerful. Very sorry Sir. Where are you? Central London. Where? Central London. Sorry, where? Can you repeat that? Central LONDON. LONDON, LONDON, LONDON. IT'S A LARGE TOWN IN THE SOUTH OF ENGLAND. YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD OF IT.
Very sorry sir, please hold. Sir, we are very sorry, I am going to send an email to our UK office, who will email our distributer in the UK, who will then email your Royal Mail, who will then change the address.
How long will this take? You will get it tomorrow sir!! (Cheerful again.) Really? Somehow I don't believe you. Right. Give me the Royal Mail tracking number, and the depot address. I'll go and get it myself. There's far too many things that can go wrong. I mean, it's only a Tuesday morning, there's nothing else I was planning to do, like work or anything. How difficult can it be getting to Micham Junction?
What was that address again? Unit 9 Willow Lane...
Couple of trains and a bus later. Arrive at Willow Lane.
Kind of sums up the whole experience really.
Walk a mile or so down sealed and abandoned road, with only a few Croydonite hoodie gluesniffers for company. Finally find the actual estate (Willow Lane is rather long), get the package, go home, plug it in, and praise god, it works. First time. Though I'm yet to see it go any faster than about 8meg.
Would recommend them to anyone else? Hmm.