I've been to barbecues before where we were asked to bring food, and so brought, I dunno, a value pack of lamb spleens or a hundredweight of sausages with cinnamon and lime or whatever. Something for everyone to share, anyway. And then I've watched in bemusement as guests pulled individual cuts of meat out of side pockets to cook for themselves, helping themselves only to the accompaniments laid on by the hostess. That's not normal, is it?