AWOL and disciplinary

[RubyBlue]

If I was your mate I would go to the doctor and be honest with him / her about the position I was in (the stress and depression) and see if there was firstly, any help they could give me (which there would be) and secondly, would there be any chance they could write to my employer (even 'after the event' so to speak to explain the situation i.e that my mental wellbeing has greatly contributed to the irrational way I have behaved.

My doctor did do this for me years ago but I was being treated for depression at the time - I don't really se why the fact your mate isn't being treated should make a difference - folk going through a bad time often leave it really late before facing up to it and seeking help - the doctor should be able to tell that he's genuine - good luck to him.

 

[cesare]

No, he's not swinging it. I meant from the companies point of view, as he hasn't made them aware of any problems before.

Ah, I see what you mean now. Someone has to make them aware, formally and explicitly, that he's suffering from a mental health condition that might be a disability under the DDA 95 as amended by the DDA 2005. The 2005 Act was important because the scope of mental health disabilities was widened then ... but there's many employers that didn't really take that in iyswim. RubyBlue's just mentioned a letter from the doctor which is a great idea.

If the doctor can also mention what reasonable adjustments can be made immediately, such as accepting lateness of notification, or someone else acting on his behalf - that would also be really really helpful.

That's exactly what it is. I've just got back from his, and he didn't really want to admit to himself that there was anything wrong. I think he's been avoiding me because we work together, and to acknowledge me would be to acknowledge that he's been off work, and then he'd have to deal with why. I spoke to him and made him admit that there's a problem, and he's said that he'll go and see the doctor tomorrow, even if it's just as a way to get work off his back for a short while. The fact that he's worrying about that really can't be helping with his mental state.

It's brilliant that you're helping him in this way. But he might wake up this morning and still not do it for all the same reasons. He possibly needs continued encouragement to translate the admission into action. He might not feel able to pick up the phone to the doctor this morning.

They really won't understand, or even try to, they'll just want to get him out as efficiently as possible. Fortunately the companies HR department has recently moved to our offies, and they've started using a bit of a more gentle approach. I'm in two minds over whether to speak to his manager or not. He (the manager) s a nice enough bloke who I get on with professionally, but I'm worried about doing more harm than good. I've told my friend he needs to contact the office tomorrow, and to do it in writing or email would probably be better.

A lot of employers - a lot of people - act from a position of ignorance and lack of understanding. Not active or malicious ill intent. If they're intent on getting him out anyway, they'll find a way to do it. Just needs to be made as hard as possible for them to do that. If it turns out that they genuinely don't understand, they need information presented in a non threatening but very assertive manner.

Good luck.

 

[cliche guevara]

I've spoken to him this morning (albeit via text, he's not picking up the phone) and he says that he couldn't get a doctors appointment for today, so will try again tomorrow. I've asked him to contact work, but am not holding out too much hope that it'll happen. I'm gonna have an informal chat with his line manager tomorrow. I'm sure he will be honest with the doctor once he gets there, and I think he is genuinely in a pretty poor place mentally, but he needs to start being honest with himself first. I don't think he'll keep his job long term, I just want him to be able to hang on for as long as possible so he makes the most of the sick pay and outstanding holiday hours while he sorts his head out and prepares himself for finding something else.

 

[Kanda]

Cesare, is it right that in order for an employer to take notice of things like stress and depression, you actually have to notify them of it? I thought you were on flaky ground to use it as a reason retrospecively as you should have told them.

(nvm, I just read your post above)

 

[cesare]

It probably is a good idea to have a chat with the manager.

Oh dear, he possibly just can't face more talk about it

 

[derf]

Stress/depression should do.

If the doc agrees with that he may well be OK.

 

[cliche guevara]

Cesare, is it right that in order for an employer to take notice of things like stress and depression, you actually have to notify them of it? I thought you were on flaky ground to use it as a reason retrospecively as you should have told them.

(nvm, I just read your post above)

I'm not sure if he was even aware he had problems until last week though. It's difficult.

 

[RubyBlue]

Cesare, is it right that in order for an employer to take notice of things like stress and depression, you actually have to notify them of it? I thought you were on flaky ground to use it as a reason retrospecively as you should have told them.

(nvm, I just read your post above)

I used it retrospectively - I wasn't aware I had depression - lots of people don't when they have it and you can behave completely irrationally - that's why it's important for this guy to get himself seen by a doc - my doctor was very helpful in writing to my employers and my behavior had been irrational at work for several weeks before I saw my doctor and started to get myself sorted out - this was years ago but things shouldn't have changed.

 

[cesare]

I'm not sure if he was even aware he had problems until last week though. It's difficult.

But the doctor can diagnose a condition that's been present for some time ... as long as the employer is notified once the diagnosis has been made, they then have to start complying with their responsibilities under the DDA.