At End Of Tether With My Job...

[Derian]

I had a major change of job/how I earned a living when I was 40 Dub.

 

[JTG]

Oi you.

I do know what you're on about. I haven't a clue what I want to do, I'm just doing a job I can do, for fucking awful money, wondering when my life may start.

But. Fuck's sake mate, don't mither about it - do something! I don't mean hand in your notice tomorrow or anything but start looking for other jobs, other CAREERS somewhere, anywhere. Take bluestreak up on his offer, get the job supplements in whatever paper you fancy, look at courses, google randomly, whatever. What's the worst that can happen? You get another job the same as the one you're in after being forced to fall back on your experience/what you know? How bad can it be?

I do believe you have to just go for it sometimes, don't exactly jump without looking - just take a good look and THEN jump. But for fuck's sake mate, jump eventually yeah?

 

[winterinmoscow]

I do believe you have to just go for it sometimes, don't exactly jump without looking - just take a good look and THEN jump. But for fuck's sake mate, jump eventually yeah?

I was in this situation and I jumped. Then I posted a thread about how I was so worried I'd done the wrong thing. I still miss some of the people at that work.

Got something else temporarily and now doing something I love.

I learned that sometimes when trying to climb out of a rut what's inside it can suddenly look quite appealing.

Your life's yours, but I never ever regretted it.

 

[phildwyer]

He thinks you should move to Cambodia or something.

I hear Chad's nice at this time of year. But actually I'm serious, you could live very well for your whole life somewhere very pleasant in the third world on about five years' UK salary. I don't know why more people who are unhappy with their jobs don't do it. I know I would.

 

[suzee blue cheese]

Dub: I totally empathise with what you're saying. I'm 43 and no closer to knowing what I really want to do. Had a job with the same company for the past 9 years or so. Pays the bills and I can do it (brilliantly) with my eyes closed but it's otherwise unrewarding and I get depressed just thinking about it some days, if I stop to think about it...

Editor's suggestion to look into doing some courses is a good one. May help formulate a direction. Change is the important thing after so long in stasis. Help gain a different perspective, shift your brain into a different gear.

Meanwhile, can you max out on the situation you're in at the moment? If they can't pay you more at the moment, can they/will they offer you a share in the company or a commitment to a decent pay rise in a few months time? State your case, see what they're prepared to put on the table.

Most certainly update your CV. You need a change so get prepared for it. Once you get past the detail of what you do and start listing the skills necessary to do it, you may find they tailor in quite nicely to something you'd find more attractive to do.

 

[marty21]

it is. and i am quite old

dub, i'm 41 and i still don't really know what i want to do, I ended up in social housing and enjoy it sometimes, hate it others, been temping for about 3 years, the association i'm with want to offer me a permanent position which i've refused as i'm doing a job i first did in 1996 i do have an interview (well test then maybe an interview) this week which might net me my first permanent job since 2003, or i might have to go cap in hand to my current employers and say "now about that permanent offer" they know i'm interviewing this week as well...

maybe i'll never know what i want to do, i'm not convinced that it's a bad way to be, as long as i'm in regular work which i sometimes enjoy, earn enough to pay my mortgage and buy a few treats, i'm fairly happy

 

[pennimania]

I started reading this thread , and immediately I began to think 'finish your fucking course!'.

THEN a few posts on I saw many others had said the same thing.

So I will only add (again)


'You're not that old. Finish the fucking course '

 

[bfg]

only started here for extra cash while I was doing my degree a few years back. Never finished the degree

I'm not interested in what i do, although i'm fairly good at it.

I have absolutely no interest in a successful career in what i'm doing even though it's the sort of thing that could make me reasonably well-off and successful if i wanted to.


My money's pretty shit

mickey mouse targets

unfulfilled, overworked, disinterested, underpaid.


It's also making me tired, sad and unwell.


my happiness is never going to be from my job.


I just don't want it to make me UNHAPPY..

so what the fuck do i do now?

I've kinda taken your first post to bits, and just kept the statments of yours that just kinda YELLED out.

Maybe have a look at them again and see if it mex ur mind up for ya.

My thoughts. Easy.

LEAVE. As soon as you can.

Honest, when you get to the stage where you wake up in the morning and think ' Oh Fuck, I've got a full day of enduring that total load of bollocks again' and the misery of laying in bed for that extra few minutes knowing that you're in for a day of doing something you hate, well thats too much. You live once. Whats you're gravestone gonna say 'here lies Dubversion, who didnt meet his mickey mouse targets'? Is it fuck, thankfully.

Have a bit of timeout and explore a bit. Toy with a few ideas. Try a few things out. There'll be something there that might pay less, or may be a bit further away on the bus, but it'll be passable, and less miserable than where you are now. Could be studying, could be voluntary work, could be other work. You're in the fortunate position of being in London. there arent many places on the planet better for trying a few ideas out

Once you've quit, the picture will get a bit clearer, you'll at least have some idea where you want to go next. And you'll then look at working out how youre gonna get there. And the old outlook'll get that bit brighter. It happens to hundreds of peeps every day. Why shouldnt it happen to you too?

 

[Orang Utan]

I hear Chad's nice at this time of year. But actually I'm serious, you could live very well for your whole life somewhere very pleasant in the third world on about five years' UK salary. I don't know why more people who are unhappy with their jobs don't do it. I know I would.

You'd need to save five years' salary, that's why!

 

[oddworld]

There is always the new series of The Apprentice

Dub V's Sir Alan Sugar

Jokes aside sorry you are feeling unhappy in your job Dub, I walked out of my last job because it made me so unhappy, it probably wasnt the wisest move considering I had rent and bills to pay etc ....

I temped for a few months until something permanent came my way, once work starts making you unhappy it can be a slippery slope downwards. I hope things work out for you whatever you decide.

Good luck

Odds
x

 

[Orang Utan]

Out of interest, Dub - what was your course in?

 

[Dubversion]

Out of interest, Dub - what was your course in?

Politics / Philosophy / Economics. I fucked it right up. I took an easy uni because i knew i'd need to be able to work as well (i could have probably got to LSE but i knew it would be a slog). So i breezed through the first two years - got firsts for everything. But i got sick of being skint (this was my early 30s). So i skipped more and more lectures so i could work instead. It got out of hand, I got sick of it, and I was getting stupid marks (like 96%) that didn't feel i'd earned so i didn't respect the course. and it all.. kind.. of.. ground.. to...... a... halt.

I know i could transfer my marks to OU and do two years there (two big modules, one little one) but that's a long way off.

fuck knows. I do really appreciate all the advice, and sorry for being a whinger when there's a lot more pressing stuff going on for people that "ooh, my job's sucky".

I've got a couple of ideas - one is charity, one is to maybe get into events promotion and organising but at maybe a council level or something, i have no idea what's involved but i know people who do. I'd even consider something like TfL - at least they provide something worthwhile (kinda ).

the trouble with this place, that Vixen missed out in her otherwise spot on analysis , is that it's full of mates, people i've known in work and outside it for years and years. So when you go for a pint after work and all moan about it, it doesn't seem so bad somehow. If i worked in a straight work environment where they were just colleagues, i probably would have fucked off ages ago.

anyway, with me it's all about confidence. People think i'm playing some kind of "Sensitive Male" card or something when i say this because of how i come across, but i'm actually really fucking underconfident and actually quite shy. I just deal with it by being a loud drunk bloke, innit?

anyway, you all smell and i hate you all

 

[Orang Utan]

with me it's all about confidence. People think i'm playing some kind of "Sensitive Male" card or something when i say this because of how i come across, but i'm actually really fucking underconfident and actually quite shy. I just deal with it by being a loud drunk bloke, innit?

That's me all over too.
The job I have now gave me a huge amount of confidence though, mainly cos I was stunned that I'd been trusted to have such responsibility

 

[Fledgling]

Change your name to Josh, buy some scarves or steal some scarves off another Josh and I'll send you a book on satistics, there was a real quick guide to them in my uni library and I've a massive book which would occupy you through the next year on stats. No one ever sems to want it, but it is damaged cos I threw it at a wall once.

Actually, most posters talked abut you leaving your current job. I'd be inclined to agree although I'd give the job another month first. Set yourself a decision date. When you reach that date decide whether to leave or not. You're 37 and aren't happy in your job. You don't want to be 42 and unhappy in your job. What do youlike to do in your spare time (apart from posting on here)? Is there anything you've done in the past or enjoy now that could translate into a career, job or even a course for a bit?

 

[Dubversion]

i was in the music biz as a journo / PR person for about a decade. I thought it was all i wanted but it wasn't - full of twats for the most part, and it made me hate music. In an ideal world i'd make my living from something in that field, but that's one area i'm pretty convinced i AM too old for

 

[editor]

In an ideal world i'd make my living from something in that field, but that's one area i'm pretty convinced i AM too old for

You mean like Michael Eavis?

You're never too old if your heart and soul's in it.

But then I would say that.

 

[tommers]

I used to work in software testing. testing atm software. it was the most boring thing in the world. A man in our office could speak elvish.

then they employed a decent manager who realised that I hated it. he brought things to a head and I left before I was pushed.

I spent about a year working as a cycle courier / claiming dole / doing some temp work before I got my current job working with people with mental health problems.

I love my new job. I hated my old job. It wasn't that difficult to change, but was a bit scary at times.



I know.

It's an uplifting story, isn't it?

 

[tastebud]

the trouble with this place, that Vixen missed out in her otherwise spot on analysis , is that it's full of mates, people i've known in work and outside it for years and years. So when you go for a pint after work and all moan about it, it doesn't seem so bad somehow. If i worked in a straight work environment where they were just colleagues, i probably would have fucked off ages ago.

not there - they're all cunts - but elsewhere i've experienced a similar situation; like now, my manager and i get on so well we've been putting my leaving date back for months and months now - was supposed to leave at xmas! but you will probably find other mates in other places. people that actually motivate you and aren't a completely depressed bunch of no-hopers.

nb. btw i do like your mates, but a lot of the rest of them are cunts and you know it! they add to the depression of the place. all the people that you and i know in common that have left will say the same. where i work now - a charity - there's not a nasty bone in the whole organisations body!

 

[A Dashing Blade]

Imo, a very important thing is to work out what you do/don't enjoy doing, I'm not talking about specific jobs/roles etc but on a more conceptual level ie interaction with people, team leadership, generating leads etc etc.

To work this out, you have to give yourself room to think have which requires having as few responsibilities as possible.

So, bottom line, quit, go temping (1-3 months if pos) to see how different companys in (slightly) different sectors work, get some freelance stuff if possible ('cmon, you can't tell me you don't have contacts!) and let the job come to you.

Just my 2d for what it's worth.

 

[sonicdancer]

Id do that Yossarian if I wasnt hitched and stuff.

Be prepared to kiss goodbye to civilization.

Dubversion, I reckon you need to make a big life change. Another field, something completely different. But like you I have no suggestions.

 

[marshall]

i was in the music biz as a journo / PR person for about a decade. I thought it was all i wanted but it wasn't - full of twats for the most part, and it made me hate music. In an ideal world i'd make my living from something in that field, but that's one area i'm pretty convinced i AM too old for

You could always combine your acquired market research skills with your love for music, dance etc and go and work for somewhere like ‘murmur’ (if they’re still going) or somewhere similar. Money’s good, but depends how you feel about ‘targeting’ the young.

 

[Dubversion]

, but depends how you feel about ‘targeting’ the young.

i'll let somebody else pick up that gag for me

 

[ddraig]

i was in the music biz as a journo / PR person for about a decade. I thought it was all i wanted but it wasn't - full of twats for the most part, and it made me hate music. In an ideal world i'd make my living from something in that field, but that's one area i'm pretty convinced i AM too old for

imo i don't think that's strictly tru about age. this has been my excuse for years and then i see someone older than me doing something i'd like to do and tell myself to sort it out NOW etc but don't

i think you see a lot of 'older' people in event/music co's as they've taken that long to get there, working their way trial and error style through the business.
soooo, i reckon you've done a lot of that and you know what works and what doesn't and that's without all the contacts you've made in different 'arena's' in music over the years. i know u don't go in for all that but 'dubversion' is a name a fair few people can identify with and know they'll be getting a good event, not so much bankable as dependable.
i'm very sure that you could put on a regular night that's bigger but still VFM and get all sorts of people willing to help. then build it into a festy
so that and some writing work for starters? would it be enough?
hope some of this makes sense and good luck mate

 

[equationgirl]

You've basically got two choices here:

1) Put up with your current situation and stop moaning about how you hate cos you're too lazy to change it.

OR

2) Get off your arse and change it.

Do you want to get to 60 and have regrets that you didn't take the chance to change your life now?

Change is scary, but it's also exciting and fun at the same time.

In the words of a very naughty corporation

JUST DO IT!

 

[Dubversion]

You've basically got two choices here:

1) Put up with your current situation and stop moaning about how you hate cos you're too lazy to change it.

OR

2) Get off your arse and change it.

Do you want to get to 60 and have regrets that you didn't take the chance to change your life now?

Change is scary, but it's also exciting and fun at the same time.

In the words of a very naughty corporation

JUST DO IT!

i think that's a phenomenonally simplistic and patronising summary of my situation, i'm afraid.

 

[Orang Utan]

I dunno - it's blunt, but it's spot on really, apart from the lazy bit. You already said you were afraid of change.

 

[Dubversion]

I dunno - it's blunt, but it's spot on really, apart from the lazy bit. You already said you were afraid of change.

but the lazy bit irked me greatly, and it's NOT as simple as "just do it", that's facile simple-minded marketing crap, isn't it?

 

[aqua]

i think that's a phenomenonally simplistic and patronising summary of my situation, i'm afraid.

I think it was ok actually, maybe just not what you wanted to hear

I got really REALLY hacked off with a job I had, I loved the actual work with my team but everything else was shit, a rolling month contract, stupid collapse of the team, reorganisation shit alsorts

so I applied for a job that took a £5k paycut, moved back properly to Hull, started a job in an area I didn't want to stay in but could do whilst I worked everything out

it was a gamble and one that paid off for me, I realised I loved the area I worked in and wanted to get back into it but in a different way, it helped me focus my attention and then this current job was advertised - I still hate some colleagues, I hate the stupidity of some people in this sector but christ I love my job

good luck matey, but you're going to have to take a risk if you want things to change

 

[Dubversion]

I think it was ok actually, maybe just not what you wanted to hear

well i certainly don't want to be called fucking lazy, that's for sure.

 

[aqua]

but I call you worse