Ask urban75's resident wanker in the black...
- Thread starter Wowbagger
- Start date
Time for another bump, but this time I've got something to say.
Oh, if only I could deal with dissent like this...
Oh, if only I could deal with dissent like this...
Red Faction
Allez Les Rouges
Lee Bowyer, Alan Smith, beware.
Something tells me Arsenal wouldnt have gone all season undefeated if their antics at Old Trafford in September had been met with that sort of response!!
Something tells me Arsenal wouldnt have gone all season undefeated if their antics at Old Trafford in September had been met with that sort of response!!
1) If a defender is hustling with an attacker 6 of 1 etc - then takes the ball off attacker, then arms linked and defenders tries to free his arm from attacker to get clear and catches attacker in neck - is this a foul?
2) If an attacker beats last defender - who then falls on floor and grabs the ball blatantly with hand and holds it - what do you do?
3) If an attacker shoots - a goal bound shot that is blocked by a defenders arm in the penalty area (from around 12 yards from where the shot was taken) what is your decision?
4) An attacker beats the second from last defender - has a clear run on goal and is hacked down (with defenders foot or knee) on attackers thigh - around 4/5 inches above attackers knee. This is defenders second foul on attacker - what is the decision (there is no attempt at all to play the ball - which is on the floor at the time.
5) a player has been consistently fouling in a game - he then goes studs up on another players calf muscle - Lucas Neill v Jamie Carragher style - (the player on the floor is not getting up and has dislocated his shoulder - and has to go to hospital) What do you do?
2) If an attacker beats last defender - who then falls on floor and grabs the ball blatantly with hand and holds it - what do you do?
3) If an attacker shoots - a goal bound shot that is blocked by a defenders arm in the penalty area (from around 12 yards from where the shot was taken) what is your decision?
4) An attacker beats the second from last defender - has a clear run on goal and is hacked down (with defenders foot or knee) on attackers thigh - around 4/5 inches above attackers knee. This is defenders second foul on attacker - what is the decision (there is no attempt at all to play the ball - which is on the floor at the time.
5) a player has been consistently fouling in a game - he then goes studs up on another players calf muscle - Lucas Neill v Jamie Carragher style - (the player on the floor is not getting up and has dislocated his shoulder - and has to go to hospital) What do you do?
kained&able
Here for the football.
mr ref sir. why the hell do friendly matches count towards bans????
im reading that kezman might be banned for chelski at the start of the season beacuse of a little scuffle with dacourt.
doesn't make sense.
also do red cards in international friendlies count for competitve tournemants???
if so GRRRRRRR if not where the hell is the consistency????
dave
im reading that kezman might be banned for chelski at the start of the season beacuse of a little scuffle with dacourt.
doesn't make sense.
also do red cards in international friendlies count for competitve tournemants???
if so GRRRRRRR if not where the hell is the consistency????
dave
Relahni said:
Depends who links the arm. If defender grabbed the attacker's arm, you ping him either for holding or striking carelessly. If the attacker grabbed the defender, then the free kick goes to the defenders because grabbing the arm was the first foul.
Assuming the attacker is heading towards goal, direct free kick and red card for DOGSO via deliberate handball. Otherwise, direct free kick and yellow card for unsporting behaviour.
If it was deliberate, penalty kick and red card for DOGSO via deliberate handball. If it wasn't, no action.
Direct free kick and red card for serious foul play.
See above.
silentNate
1.618 xakep
If you are 'the wanker in black' the question needs to be asked...
How often do you masturbate?
How often do you masturbate?
Wowbagger said:
That's the way I saw all of the decisions. I think what happened is the refs bottled it and wanted an easy day strolling around doing nothing. They shouldn't have turned up. I know it's a difficult job, but no-one put a gun to their heads to do it. If you are going to do a job, you may as well try your best.
The lad who put the other player in hospital should have been sent off straight away - he wasn't even booked! Unbelievable. The dirty b*stard had fouled a couple of times in that match and tried a two footed challenge on someone else earlier in the game - luckily, they were too quick for the lard arse!
Red Faction
Allez Les Rouges
If a pitch is too small for European competitions (Tynecastle) why isnt it too small for domestic competitions (the SPL)?
Red Faction said:
Because someone a long time ago decided that for international matches, pitches should be of a more standardised and more rectangular size than what you might find on Hackney Marshes. The dimensions for international matches have larger minimums than for other matches, and are also set up to ensure that they are recognisably rectangular.
So why keep the different dimensions for other matches? Because someone else, in a rare bout of common sense, realised that the dimensions should be more adjustable to cater for pitches not enclosed in stadia and open to a completely different set of sizing considerations.
If you see it, it's DOGSO, red card, penalty or direct free kick for pushing an opponent. You don't blow up when the push goes in, though: you hold off on the whistle until he shoots: if he scores, play advantage and give the goal, and if not, there's no advantage, so pull it back.
If you don't see it, however (and you do pretty much have to be in exactly the right place to see that sort of thing), then play on.
If you don't see it, however (and you do pretty much have to be in exactly the right place to see that sort of thing), then play on.
Wowbagger said:
He he. An early bath for me then!
It was a shit foul I admit - but it did wind the player up loads (to the extent that he spent the rest of the game wanting to do the same thing to me - which he did). We were getting dicked - there was no ref - I might have got away with it if there was a ref.
I saw exactly the same thing happen in the Watford v QPR game - but they scored eventually.
It happens a lot in the game I think.
One cheating bastard, there's only one cheating bastard.
Not, of course, that I'm condoning this, but your average park ref (not me, of course) is generally not the fastest of creatures, and therefore will be lagging some fifty yards directly behind you at this point. So if you've got one of those creatures, it is quite possibly the best way of, ahem, tackling an opponent, ahem, in that situation.
Unless you've got one that gives decisions he's too far away to see at random, of course.
Not, of course, that I'm condoning this, but your average park ref (not me, of course) is generally not the fastest of creatures, and therefore will be lagging some fifty yards directly behind you at this point. So if you've got one of those creatures, it is quite possibly the best way of, ahem, tackling an opponent, ahem, in that situation.
Unless you've got one that gives decisions he's too far away to see at random, of course.
Cheating bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!! Moi?
I've only comitted three fouls imo since the Urban75 tourno - the worse one was in that comp - but someone had fouled me so I thought I would kick one of their players. The other was a debatable elbow in a overly dramatic cheating attackers neck and the third was that push.
That's not bad for around 20 footie matches!
Is it true you once sent off a certain Urbanite?
I've only comitted three fouls imo since the Urban75 tourno - the worse one was in that comp - but someone had fouled me so I thought I would kick one of their players. The other was a debatable elbow in a overly dramatic cheating attackers neck and the third was that push.
That's not bad for around 20 footie matches!
Is it true you once sent off a certain Urbanite?
No, I didn't send him off. I did turn down what he thought was a stone bonk penalty for handball, and had I been listening I'd probably have had grounds to walk him for offensive, insulting and abusive language, but there's a certain point after a big decision when your ears go numb and you just block everything out until everyone shuts up.
I tell you what the most important thing is after giving a big decision like that: it's the way you give the next one: the ball bobbled out for a throw and I made an extra special effort to be extra-convinced in the decision than normal. If you start seeming wobbly and indecisive and not very vocal after that, they'll think that you think you made a mistake. Confidence in everything you're doing really is an under-appreciated part of it.
I tell you what the most important thing is after giving a big decision like that: it's the way you give the next one: the ball bobbled out for a throw and I made an extra special effort to be extra-convinced in the decision than normal. If you start seeming wobbly and indecisive and not very vocal after that, they'll think that you think you made a mistake. Confidence in everything you're doing really is an under-appreciated part of it.
Ha ha ha.
Hilarious! I could never be a referee.
After a recent tourno I played in - I was half thinking I could do better than those wankers - but wouldn't do it.
I think confidence is a huge part of it. Confidence to make big decisions as you see it.
We used to have a good ref a long time ago when played in West Midlands - he never said much and took a lot of shit - but he was a very good ref and never ever shirked a big decision.
Hilarious! I could never be a referee.
After a recent tourno I played in - I was half thinking I could do better than those wankers - but wouldn't do it.
I think confidence is a huge part of it. Confidence to make big decisions as you see it.
We used to have a good ref a long time ago when played in West Midlands - he never said much and took a lot of shit - but he was a very good ref and never ever shirked a big decision.
Ninjaboy said:
No, but I have got a family fucking history of fucking glaucoma.
A lot of refs wear glasses, but very few of them wear glasses to referee. I don't, I use disposable contact lenses. Safer if you get hit in the face, less ammunition for the players to lob at you.
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