Well I've never watched anything on Netflix and all I've brought on amazon are ear plugs. However, I'm sure there is some crap up there which I'm not proud of but still, I did it and I have to accept that. The times I've been arrested are not my proudest moments, but I just have to accept it and the consequences of it.
Ashley Madison - my martial affair exposure - I blame the hackers (impact team) for my divorce
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Well I've never watched anything on Netflix and all I've brought on amazon are ear plugs. However, I'm sure there is some crap up there which I'm not proud of but still, I did it and I have to accept that. The times I've been arrested are not my proudest moments, but I just have to accept it and the consequences of it.
Pickman's model
sunset spires and twilight woods
you've been arrested. but not from the sounds of it charged or convicted. arrest is proof of nothing.
Sure, no problem with any of that. Nothing changes the point I was making that the site was unequivocal about what it was about, if someone has decided to enter into that for whatever reason then it is primarily their fault if they get found out. Just as it would be if a partner found emails or hotel receipts etc.
I will concede that I'm approaching this from a Western viewpoint, but that is the only real frame of reference I have. I just seem to see a lot of infidelity around and that's fine if people want to go down that road, but you also have to accept the consequences if your lies get found out.
Pickman's model
sunset spires and twilight woods
you're approaching this from a daft viewpoint, not a western one.
next.
e2a: frogwoman, you don't piss about
There is so much obviously fake stuff up there that it would be easy to explain away an email address etc. Bit harder if your credit card details are up there.
MochaSoul
It's being enslaved of your own free will
Thank you for this, Brainaddict. The case of the gay person in Saudi (in a tweet) made my spine freeze.
kebabking
Not a Girly Swot, but I like them....
i think your logic on this - or, perhaps more correctly, its effects on actual people - is flawed.
if my wife were to find evidence of me having an affair - a hotel bill in Edinburgh for a date i'd told her i was attending an exercise at Cape Wrath, or a change in the way i touched her - or any of the hundred pointers that we could mention, what follows is very much up to her. the discovery is private, and she can choose whether to take action or to not take action. however, if the 'proof' is spashed all over the web for her friends/family/workmates/randoms on the internet to see and howl at, she would probably find her options far more limited - she would be publicly shamed/humiliated - and the choice that many people, in private, make to ignore something that they know goes on, but isn't shoved in their face, would be taken from her.
i have some sympathy with your view that those on the list are responsible for being there, but i'm afraid i've seen the effects of far too many divorces to ever be sanguine about who got their just deserts and who got shafted. mostly its kids, and then its everyone else.
SpackleFrog
Smash showy bell-bottom pants and sporty haircuts
Took me two minutes on the site just now to realize that its used not just by people in relationships but single people, people in open relationships, people with specific kinks looking for likeminded, etc. That was just from the 'people in your area' bit, without me signing up. Shouldn't take much imagination to realize LGBT people who for whatever reason can't or don't want to be 'out'. If you're gonna bang on about it at least check what you're talking about.
Yeah, fair play.
Brainaddict
slight system overdrive
Turns out our concerns about the effects on some of the women may have been misplaced - there were almost none on there: http://boingboing.net/2015/08/26/ashley-madison-looks-like-it-w.html
Most of the women's profiles appear to have been faked by the company.
Most of the women's profiles appear to have been faked by the company.
existentialist
Tired and unemotional
I don't think that's a "Western" viewpoint - it's a punitive, judgmental viewpoint.
It may well be (indeed, it's almost certain) that there are people registered on that site who are exactly the kind of sleazy low-lifes we tend to stereotype as the typical cheating partner. But it is equally certain that, whatever its marketing, the site was being used by people looking for company, sex, or even love in all kinds of other contexts - recently-bereaved people, for example, or those struggling with their sexuality. I would imagine that a substantial proportion of them would be people in unhappy, or loveless, relationships who for some reason or another cannot escape and are just trying to ameliorate the misery of their existence somewhat...or maybe even find an escape route.
The point is, you can't know. It is all very well sitting in judgement on these people and saying "they must have known what they were getting into", and to some extent that's true - they could not have been oblivious to the fact that they were signing up to a site whose marketing portrayed it very much as something naughty and secretive. But that doesn't mean that all of those people were doing anything so morally dubious as to warrant their public shaming and exposure.
Perhaps you might be able to tell the difference between the sleazy ones and the sad/desperate/lonely ones just by scanning the data, but I can't. And I think most people, if they're honest with themselves, would acknowledge that we have no way of knowing the back story of anyone on that list. Which means we are making judgements about them without being in possession of all the facts.
Perhaps you think the fact of their being on the site is enough. I can't speak for anyone else, but that, to me, is an appalling level of judgmentalism, and says rather more about the person sitting in judgment than about those they are judging.
A lot of this has been covered and you've clearly misunderstood what I've been saying and replaced it with a lot of projection, I don't have the time or energy to go back over it. I've accepted that the situation is more complex then it initially seemed.
existentialist
Tired and unemotional
Nice bit of mindreading, there. All the same, I am glad you've seen the light.
MochaSoul
It's being enslaved of your own free will
I think the fact that one's shenanigans outside marriage can be used as a weapon against one's reputation says a lot about marriage and its place in society. I'm sceptical and cynical about marriage though so there's obviously a point of it which fails to reach me.
One or two weeks before this broke out, Gawker was being vilified online for outing one cheater; now it's the cheaters who are condemned. Except, their outing and shaming carries consequences to their families too.
Imagine a child finding out about one of their parents cheating before the other parent. Like this one:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/3hkbnm/ifoundmyfathersemailontheashleymadison/
moochedit
Why isn't the christmas forum open yet?
Turns out our concerns about the effects on some of the women may have been misplaced - there were almost none on there: http://boingboing.net/2015/08/26/ashley-madison-looks-like-it-w.html
Most of the women's profiles appear to have been faked by the company.
yeah i was about to post this about it.
Ashley Madison hack: Just three in every 10,000 female accounts on infidelity website are real
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...-on-infidelity-website-are-real-10475310.html
it doesn't surprise me at all as most dating sites have loads of fake scamming/spamming/trolling profiles and a site for cheaters would be even more likely to get them cos of the blackmail possibilitys.
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