Are we allowed to have clash threads on here?

[mauvais]

no not really (it's more eh than ee)

If only eh weh stoll en Monchestoh I'd ave got aweh wev ot.

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

i'm certain they would understand

i was only teasing really

i probably sound like the japanese eqivelent of officer crabtree

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

YO YO YO TO ME BEXHILL-ON-SEA NIGGAZ WUT

thou art a dog of thy house
a low and whining cur
who doth tremble like a mouse
when i ask, do you bite your thumb at us, sir?


(sorry i was reading shakspear again recently)

 

[mauvais]

Shakespeare might be old school
But that guy's long gone cold fool
Don't ape that ancient fellow
It's as tragic as Othello
Your sonnet's met its death
You put the Hamish in Macbeth

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

i think your slowly going the way of vannila ice


word to your mother

 

[hungry 4 kicks]

Here is a "clash" post

Or does that sort of thing get instantly binned and/or do members get banned for starting one?

I've been clashing a lot on other forums but I know this one has...er... rather different rules.

If unfortunately the answer is "yes" to the above, then I'll **** off back to my usual forums lol But if the answer is "no" to all of the above, how about someone starts with a quick 16 bar merkage and I'll do a comeback when I've had some sleep?

I come from a forum down under. Where men say rude words like 'Poo' and 'Chunder'.....

I have heard of a 'clash forum'.

It means - for those that have been there - a forum where people join in order to 'clash'.

I presume that's what you meant.

Assuming I am right, please let me express myself. If I am wrong about the decorum of 'clash forums' then I apologise.

So.....here's the clash attempt:

"Fuck you you mutha fucking sonsofswinerats and may you stop being poony slip fonts"

 

[H.Dot]

I'll play

Errr... reet...

Yer lyrics suck like salad
An yo beatz are low fat cheese!
Whereas I bes gangsta Wensleydale
And me drop top's full of peas!

DUMB FUCK BATTLING BITCHES,
WHAT'S ALL THIS STYLEZ MALARKEY,
GONNA WHIP OUT ME FOUR INCHES,
GIVE YER LYRICAL BUKKAKE

ok let's start the slewage...


Northwest man bars clogging up my computer
Waste man bars taste da Nike booter
Fake out-of-town MCs are gonna get prang
Get back in ur van u can never be nang
Don't need fuel to burn out other MCs
I'll burn out ur car and steal ur P's
Ur gash still wants to be with me
Cos u bought her Tesco Value card for her birthday
But I don't do ladies called Tracey or Lisa
I only care about girls like Shanelle or Tanisha
Buff gal dem always wanna be with me
Cos I take dem dahn da Savoy not to the Wong Kei
Better consult ur Oracle blud cos ur future ain't great
As I do a 32 bar merk while u only do eight
Never mind the fortune tellers best learn how to slew
Or your next hospital appointment's at the ICU
Born in Notts but I no longer rep Notts
City of waste footie teams and bare gunshots
Never been shot but I've been shanked twice
Didn't feel too good didn't look too nice
But with a long memory it's not too late
For man to go back to the Crabtree Estate
And leng man down while he's high on da brown
It's a warzone like Iraq when I'm in town
So any MC who tries to test me in a clash
Will feel the mace and then taste da mash
Cos everyone knows the best MC in south west
Every other MC needs to put plates in the vest
When I'm in a rave I try not to get aggy
But I'll clean up MCs like Kim and Aggie
H.Dot best inna south-west direction
Will win any clash and stand for re-election


pull up dat

 

[mauvais]

Hands off me petit pois
I'm coming right back at yer
Got toy grenades
And wiper blades
And I'm robbing yoh like Thatcher

You might be from the ghetto
But Blackpool's even worse
Lucky heather?
Look at the weather
We've already got yer curse

I'm so OG that I've been shot
Fourteen thousand times
All that lead
And still not dead
They just bounced off me rhymes

I'm off to cap some bitches
And err drop some real big beats
So it's goodbye
But please don't cry
I'm not yet quite complete

If I don't add a few small things
That seem to be required
Like dis dat dem
MC mi ting!
I'll end up getting fired.

 

[milesy]

mauvais merks h.dot

 

[ddraig]

mauvais! are you MC pitman?

 

[Lisarocket]

mauvais! are you MC pitman?

He didn't mention coal or beer though

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Since always?!

It is pronounced like "buh-car-key", isn't it?

Boo-kar kaye without much y in the kay more like - Que?

 

[mauvais]

mauvais! are you MC pitman?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/the_state_were_in/2967871.stm

What should we use the closed coal mines for?

Nightclubs. To get in the club you have to be dirty - there would be no alcohol served, just tea. Bring your own biscuits 'cause you can't have mine.

 

[Iam]

Mauvais is teh

 

[sam/phallocrat]

Big up MC Hedgehog

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

pull up dat

couplet?

purleaze

at least we managed a four-line stanza

might go for a sonnet next

 

[H.Dot]

Big up MC Hedgehog

that's not what the "H" stands for tho, that name is deadout

more bars 2moro.

 

[H.Dot]

come on then, you lot... clash me if you dare, or the RWD forum is you... lol

 

[snouty warthog]

ok...

shippou chan says he da man
but his beats are beaten and his words don’t scan

h.dot, yr rhymes like dry rot,
what else ya got?
I fink like yer name ya better do a full stop
Ya getting battered in Battersea
Only mc is me,
Gonna send ya packin, off to buy a rhyming diction’ry

Best MC in S. double-U.? don’ wanna trouble you
But the initials belong to the warthog that just nobbled you
So ya getta manc spank from the lyrical mystic
I hope I didn’t make yer spill oil on yer dipstick

Battersea power station bin gone a long time
And you just run out of wattage when you make new rhyme…
60 watts is dim- and you’s dim getting dimmer
Break out the champers- we have a warty winner!

 

[H.Dot]

ok...

shippou chan says he da man
but his beats are beaten and his words don’t scan

h.dot, yr rhymes like dry rot,
what else ya got?
I fink like yer name ya better do a full stop
Ya getting battered in Battersea
Only mc is me,
Gonna send ya packin, off to buy a rhyming diction’ry

Best MC in S. double-U.? don’ wanna trouble you
But the initials belong to the warthog that just nobbled you
So ya getta manc spank from the lyrical mystic
I hope I didn’t make yer spill oil on yer dipstick

Battersea power station bin gone a long time
And you just run out of wattage when you make new rhyme…
60 watts is dim- and you’s dim getting dimmer
Break out the champers- we have a warty winner!

H-dot reppin for the gulliest crew
But I'm not Bin Laden I never slew no Jew
Cos I got a 2.2 and Air Force Ones
Pop any breh who run up their gums
Cos I make dough in a way you don't know
Run up on a man with my Southside flow
Only fish get battered, North mandem scatter
Power Station's still here and our system sounds phatter
Don't need bare watts to spit sixteen
Or a big dictionary to buss bars in da scene
I don't need no C-R-E-W to mash you, honky
Stay down on the floor while I make your face wonky
You're crew's not real your selector's not best
I mash up Napa while man links boys at Key West
Bars like yours will always be forgotten
North-west MCs need to go back and spin cotton

 

[William of Walworth]

Surreal thread, man!!!!!!!

<puts Joe Strummer comments on hold ... >

 

[snouty warthog]

that’s ‘H’ for ‘hopeless’, dot for dotty
old rope, scopeless, beam me up Scotty
mancs in tha house make a southside cry
you gotta thames barrier to makin rhymes fly

go spin cotton? Nah yer losin’ the thread
I need yer bobbins patter like a hole in the head
Call the sheriff, cos the Notts boy bites
I hear round your way you like your men in tights?

Battersea boy with a false agenda
Smells like fish being put thru a blender
Rhyme pretender- the words you spit are generic
You’re weak like a yes-man, tame like a cleric

Back off the mic cos you losin the plot
End of the H is a little white dot
End of transmission, with snouty derision
I snort at the way all your bars be missin’