Antipsychotics, Writing and Reading

Discussion in 'books, films, TV, radio & writing' started by Rachel Smith, Sep 16, 2018.

  1. Rachel Smith

    Rachel Smith Member

    Hi everyone,

    I used to be a keen blogger writing every day. I got a lot out of it, though it seemed nobody read my blog! This year I've been put on antipsychotics and I'm currently on Paliperidone. I no longer feel the same urge to write. I've come back to Urban75 in the hopes that it will get me writing again.

    Has anyone else experienced something similar? I'm hoping that with practice I can find my creative flow again. I've been rereading my old blog and enjoying it, but I feel upset that there doesn't seem to be anything to write about anymore.

    A friend has encouraged me to get back into reading and I've started reading The Fire Eaters by David Almond. I find listening to classical music is helping me to read. My mind feels too empty without it.

    I had been inspired by delusions that I had, and now they are all gone which is great. I now want to find inspiration without being delusional, but I'm finding it difficult. I think I've lost confidence in myself because of my experiences. It no longer feels like creativity is a protective force. I'm sure it's good for me to try to become more creative again though. I was wondering if anyone had any advice or is going though something similar.

    Thanks. :)
  2. Poot

    Poot Everyone's a superhero, everyone's a Captain Kirk

    I don't know anything about anti-psychotics, and the fact that I spend so long loitering here probably speaks volumes about my own productivity, but I find a good head-clearing exercise useful. For me it's running but equally a long walk, meditation, a mindless gym-based activity can also work.

    Also, and though it's the worst part by far, just sitting down and not letting yourself get up/have a cup of tea/have a bath until you have written something is torture but it works.

    Good luck!
  3. Rachel Smith

    Rachel Smith Member

    Thanks Poot. :)

    I like walking, and I like the idea of thinking of it as a head clearing exercise. I will give meditation a go and see if writing immediately afterwards helps.

    With drawing I sometimes say to myself I will draw for an hour, and that helps me feel less daunted by it. Then even if I don't like what I have done, I still have succeeded in drawing for an hour. Maybe a similar approach could help with my writing.

    I think I'm discouraged because nothing has happened with the things I've written in the past. I enjoyed Urban75 a few years back because of the interaction and debate. I'm enjoying the nostalgia and hoping I can join in regularly again.
  4. weltweit

    weltweit Well-Known Member

    Hi Rachel, I don't know specifically why you are on antipsychotics, I am on them because I have bipolar. For me increased creativity aligns very strongly with ups in mood, feeling up I get more into writing, photographing etc etc in fact a warning sign for me that I am going up is a recurrent desire to write a book! That said, I have been in a good place for a few years, and can create to a certain extent most of the time now. Hope you get your mojo back.
  5. FridgeMagnet

    FridgeMagnet Administrator

    One thing that I find has helped is to view creativity and art as a skill and a process, not a mood. Obviously we find it easier to do things when we’re feeling like it but even when not, what we do is still just as valid and useful - we are still practicing. Cory Doctorow has written some good stuff on this.

    I don’t mean this in a “pull your socks up” way but in the sense that stuff that you do when you’re not feeling inspired is still just as valuable. The most “creative” periods I’ve had have been when I had a good strong routine of journalling, note-taking, and review to document things and turn them into tasks and projects. Nowadays I am more into photography but the same still goes - even if I’m not “feeling it”, going out and taking photos is always productive.
  6. Rachel Smith

    Rachel Smith Member

    I think you are right and I've been focusing more on my mood than my routine and output. I think seeing my writing as always productive is a really positive attitude. With the weather getting colder I want to make sure I have things to do to fill my time, so I want to establish a routine now. I'm getting a new phone up and running tomorrow so I'll be with a camera again. Taking photos is one of the things I want to do.

    I'll check out Cory Doctorow. Thanks Fridgemagnet. :)
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2018
  7. Rachel Smith

    Rachel Smith Member

    I'm on antipsychotics because of psychosis. I've been delusional, heard voices and hallucinated. I was unwell when I was writing a lot, and I'm bewildered by the amount of notebooks I've filled up. And now I don't know what value they are to me, but Fridgemagnet is right, it's all practice! I think I'll slowly get there. In a way the madness was inspiring because it showed me what narratives my mind is capable of inventing. Though it doesn't make much sense now it had a certain style to it. Thanks for sharing your story. :)

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