An urbanites worst nightmare - the corporate team bonding away day

[equationgirl]

So, next Tuesday, there's a MANDATORY team bonding away day across the whole company to encourage the three sites to work more closely with each other.

We have to travel by bus to the backarse of nowhere (so it's an early start as the bus leaves at 7am), participate in team bonding exercises all day and then 'enjoy' the compulsory barbecue until 7.30pm that night.

I'm dreading it. We're ALL dreading it (except for the superkeen marketing person).

Does anyone have strategies for dealing with this? What am I going to do?

Note: taking drugs or drinking vast amounts is out. Otherwise I would happily remain in a narcotic haze for the day.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

 

[Kanda]

Ok...

Be yourself, or win, or whatever. End of the day, you could actually end up doing yourself loads of favours not looking like someone that don't give a fuck whilst being someone that don't give a fuck

Play them at their own game, reap the reward. Just get involved, it's not that much of a hardship ... or... could make future things less hard.

It's not towing the corporate line in my opinion. It's: yeah, whatever, I can play the game and beat you at it

E2A: I fucking hate them, played them at their game and definitely won, without fucking anyone over. In fact, got my team (a very slack, hippy IT team) massive kudos with the cunts that do at the end of the day count... and managed to get us all a lot more of an easier life...

 

[equationgirl]

I really hate doing stuff I don't want to do.

 

[Kanda]

I really hate doing stuff I don't want to do.

But.. you can model it so you get what YOU want, not that they get what they want...

Make the most of a shit situ etc..

 

[trashpony]

you're not going to like this but having participated in many more of these than I'd care to remember, you'll have a much better time if you try and force yourself to enjoy it.

that's no help at all is it?

 

[equationgirl]

I'll fake some cross-organisation-team spirit.

However, if i get put in the same team as creepy christian guy, I cannot guarantee that I won't kill him.

Seriously.

 

[equationgirl]

But.. you can model it so you get what YOU want, not that they get what they want...

Make the most of a shit situ etc..

Explain more.....

 

[dada]

been there.
anyone in the office you befriend with?
stick with them!
chances are they feel the same way as you and you all can laugh or bitch about the situation together.
should pass the day faster this way.

have fun.

 

[shakespearegirl]

EG, with your recent foot problem, can you not get out of it?

Just mention health and safety

 

[equationgirl]

I have alerted HR to my inflamed metatarsal.

Unfortunately because it is more mental than physical exertion, that does not get me a get-out-off-jail-free card.

 

[sorearm]

Sorry to hear about the horrendous toe curling crapfest you have to attend, they are a useless bag o shite

anyway, here is your get out of jail card: You can be the GFs birth partner, just get your arse over to manc on that day he he

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

So, next Tuesday, there's a MANDATORY team bonding away day across the whole company to encourage the three sites to work more closely with each other.

We have to travel by bus to the backarse of nowhere (so it's an early start as the bus leaves at 7am), participate in team bonding exercises all day and then 'enjoy' the compulsory barbecue until 7.30pm that night.

I'm dreading it. We're ALL dreading it (except for the superkeen marketing person).

Does anyone have strategies for dealing with this? What am I going to do?

Note: taking drugs or drinking vast amounts is out. Otherwise I would happily remain in a narcotic haze for the day.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

Get a good night's sleep the night before. It helps you to continue looking happy and interested throughout the day. Don't overeat at lunch, or your head will be hitting the table in the afternoon.

 

[Kanda]

Explain more.....

You're a smart girl. You know what is required to make you shine with least effort.

Fact is: You have to do it.

Fact is: You can do it with least possible effort required and make it look like you were the star.

Reap the rewards.

Act like you fucking hate it and you don't want to be there (bearing in mind you HAVE to be there) is pretty pointless.

Make everything, not just this, to your advantage.

(Without stepping on people on your way).

My team hated the notion of it, loved the result. Thats how I sold it to them, they had the trust in me and went with it. They so so took the piss after. (as did I )

 

[laptop]

My team hated the notion of it...

Ah. I see. So the above is the line you spun them?

 

[Kanda]

Ah. I see. So the above is the line you spun them?

I spun nothing. I was with them (in hating it), I explained my tactic, we had no way to get out of it, I told them how we could benefit most. It worked.

 

[chymaera]

I'm dreading it. We're ALL dreading it

Quite right to, that kind of American imported bonding excercise pisses me right off.

I can understand it up to a point for voluntary counselling training and similar, but not for work.

 

[Kanda]

At the end of the day... If you HAVE to do it, why not work it to your favour.

This isn't school where you can sulk in a corner

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

You're a smart girl. You know what is required to make you shine with least effort.

Fact is: You have to do it.

Fact is: You can do it with least possible effort required and make it look like you were the star.

Reap the rewards.

Act like you fucking hate it and you don't want to be there (bearing in mind you HAVE to be there) is pretty pointless.

Make everything, not just this, to your advantage.

(Without stepping on people on your way).

My team hated the notion of it, loved the result. Thats how I sold it to them, they had the trust in me and went with it. They so so took the piss after. (as did I )

That's good advice. And even if you hate it, you can come out of it ahead if you don't sit there with a scowl on your face, and you contribute once or twice, even if only in a minor way.

 

[Bob_the_lost]

Snacks - Take some, not just ones you like but ones you can pass around. Harribo is sometimes referred to as "moral in a bag".

If you're doing stuff outdoors take a thermos of hot juice, tea and coffee are horrid when lukewarm, juice is still pleasant.

Check the weather report for the area and pack appropriatly.

 

[bluestreak]

are there any drugs, legal or otherwise that might help i wonder?

 

[JTG]

what do the exercises involve? sounds better than being at work, and you get fed

 

[chymaera]

what do the exercises involve? sounds better than being at work, and you get fed

Practical teamwork designed to build trust.

 

[JTG]

Practical teamwork designed to build trust.

jolly good, sounds like being in the scouts

 

[Celt]

Eq - sounds but if you gotta do it you got to do it, and rather than let it show how much you don't want to be I would make yourself play the part of the employee who relishes these challenges, make yourself a cast member, a character in their play.

However if weird christian guy is in your team I think you have to kill him and tell your colleagues/bosses/the police that godtold you to do it.

Smile and look interested.

 

[ziconess]

Pull a sickie & do something you do want to do instead.

 

[FridgeMagnet]

There are different ways of coping but IME the best advice is not to be hungover, and to get some sleep the night before. Don't get twatted.

You can go the uber-cynical route, which will make you some friends but is a little frustrating as you'll be fighting all the way. Can be fun sometimes though.

You can go the super-fucking-keen route which means drinking a shitload of coffee and/or necking some drugs and being so keen you end up rewriting the whole task that you're meant to be doing. It's always more satisfying if you have a bit of control over what you're doing. This doesn't work if everything is entirely pre-planned, though, and you have to keep topping your drug level up throughout the day or you just lose it and think "oh fuck this, I'm going to slope off and play games on my phone".

 

[chymaera]

jolly good, sounds like being in the scouts

It might sound like it but it isn't. It can be very harrowing and not for people of a nervous disposition. I would hate to think anyone's continued employment was based on how they react to it.

 

[xenon]

You're a smart girl. You know what is required to make you shine with least effort.

Fact is: You have to do it.

Fact is: You can do it with least possible effort required and make it look like you were the star.

Reap the rewards.

Act like you fucking hate it and you don't want to be there (bearing in mind you HAVE to be there) is pretty pointless.

Make everything, not just this, to your advantage.

(Without stepping on people on your way).

My team hated the notion of it, loved the result. Thats how I sold it to them, they had the trust in me and went with it. They so so took the piss after. (as did I )

I want Kanda for a boss.

 

[Yossarian]

Sounds hellish - could always try making a game out of the game by seeing who can be first to chuck superkeen marketing guy in the river or something.

 

[Kanda]

I want Kanda for a boss.