Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Guineveretoo, Feb 22, 2018.
This ^^^^^fuck em
If your overall complaint is with your line manager you shouldnt have to do that.
If you really have no recourse to a union rep (however inexperienced) or HR department I would write back to the union president and make that point to him/her. Im sure theres union law/guidance on that
Well done on making your decision. Now get yourself off to the doctors and get signed off. No need to prolong agony of being at work.
Oh and go do something nice afterwards. A celebration is in order. Resignation is good for the soul.
We are tiny.
Good advice about taking someone with me to the interview - oddly, I hadn't thought of that.
But I would rather just tell someone else.
Anyway, my phone is turned off because I need to eat lunch!
I agree, but I think I need to find someone else from the union executive to do this, as the president is off sick.
The urgent thing is to get my leaving date agreed - I am being invited to meetings which will be after my leaving date, unless they agree to it being later.
Well done for making your decision Guineveretoo. FWIW I left it too long to do the same a few years ago and I've never really got over the distress it caused me. I still literally have nightmares about it now - it was one of the most distressing times in my life. In the end I did give up my job without one to go to but it was fine and I learned that I should have done it sooner. I was in much too much of a mess emotionally to job hunt at that stage anyway - I needed some time out to get myself together again. I hope that your negotiations through this go smoothly and you feel better about it afterwards. Hopefully then you'll be able to take stock and decide what to do next. Lots of love and luck. x
Best of luck Guineveretoo your shiny new future awaits x x
Well done not easy to take courage like that. At least now the agony of indecision is one hurdle crossed x
That is certainly true. I think I was getting myself into a horrid circle of distress about whether to do it or not do it.
I am still waiting to hear from my line manager about this, so I don't know my leaving date.... which is kind of odd.
Just trying to keep my head down and do some work.
Good for you. Now whatever shit they throw at you can roll right off because you are out of that place. Feel the weight lift
Guin, it's only been a few hours since you sent the email. I am not surprised your manager hasn't rushed to contact you given what you have said about their lack of support and management.
Given the difficulties in your relationship with your manager I would categorically refuse to be questioned or exit interviewed by them. That is simply a nonsense suggestion given the reasons you are resigning.
Guineveretoo, you are a strong lady, you have fought and overcome so much more than this.
They have broken your confidence by treating you shamefully but you will bounce back, I have no doubt in that.
You are an asset they are losing and I'm sure ripples of that is starting to be realised.
Love and light sweetheart
From the sounds of it, you made the absolute right decision. Well done.
Remember, you owe them nothing. Absolutely zilch.
You gave them your loyalty, worked hard and was conscientious. And in return you got what? stress, indifference and lack of support.
If the job was affecting your well-being, then it was right and proper to bail out.
My attitude now to them would be; fuck off. And then some. Get as much out of them as you possibly can. You're in control now of events. Remember that! Play hard ball with them, if necessary. And don't give a shit how they feel or how they react They didn't really care about you.
They will soon be a distant fart in the wind.
Definitely try and stay positive. Look ahead to your new, hopefully exciting future if possible and don't look back. You've closed one door and opened another. Good luck to you.
Don't get me wrong - i am glad my line manager has not tried to contact me.
it is just that I need to know whether I am leaving at the end of my contractual notice period, which is 22 March, so very soon, or if they want to take up my offer of giving them 3 months' notice.
People are asking for my availability for meetings after 23 March.
I really, really don't care about the management, but I do care about the union members, who are relying on my support, and that is why I offered to work a longer notice period, so I wouldn't be leaving them without anyone.
Respond to these requests if you feel the need but simply say that you are unable to confirm at this time and will update them as soon as you can. It isn't your priority. You need to be putting yourself first at this time.
Yeah just reply tentative.
thats really noble of you, but as Rutita1 says, you need to look after you first
That's what I am doing, but it is frustrating and not just for me...
Oh well, so be it.
I am going to try and find someone else to speak to in the absence of the union president.
All the best to you Guin.
Fwiw, I've walked before. Literally left that evening and never went back. Don't regret it one bit, my sanity was more important.
I've also given up permanent jobs for temporary ones for the same reason. A year down the line and I was in a better permanent job again.
Its scary right now, for sure, but I'm sure you'll look back on this and wonder why you stuck it for as long as you did.
Keep nattering here - problem shared and all that. And try not to worry too much. It's only a job.
if i'd seen this thread earlier, i'd have agreed that getting signed off sick would at least have bought a bit of breathing space, and also said that as far as i'm aware, to bring a 'constructive dismissal' claim, you have to show that you've at least tried to resolve things through the grievance process - i'm not clear whether your e-mails will count.
voluntary organisations can be bloody awful employers (i used to know someone who had got pretty close to tribunals with two former - charity - employers, and my current union got to the point where its own staff came out on strike a year or two back)
i'd also have suggested aiming towards a settlement (compromise) agreement to get paid to leave rather than resigning, but i guess it's too late for that now.
starting from where we are now -
first off, as others have said, no job is worth sacrificing your health for.
i am fairly sure there is case law for bringing an industrial injury / illness claim for work related stress (you're probably better placed to research this than i am but happy to do some digging if you want)
i'm not sure it's going to be in your interests to work an extended notice period if the place is this toxic. ultimately, if you do your contractual notice period then whatever happens after that is their problem not yours.
and don't forget you're entitled to the annual leave accrued up to the time your employment ends (obviously on a pro-rata basis for however much of your leave year you will have worked) - which may cut down the amount of time you actually have to be there.
the other question is whether it's worth putting a lot of time and energy in to a tribunal which might result in a moral victory with a small amount of cash, or in to put that energy in to next steps. any future potential employer is going to ask why you left this job, and however crappy a previous employer is / was, a new employer won't want to know about that.
having resigned, you may have difficulty claiming job seekers allowance (it's possible you may be entitled to a means tested 'hardship payment' which they tend not to tell you about, although if you're getting a modest pension this may mean you can't get it)
if you're liable to pay rent and / or council tax, then (as things used to be) the 'voluntarily unemployed' sanction doesn't apply, and you can still apply for housing / council tax benefit. Again, it will be assessed on your income including the pension, but they are not 'all or nothing' benefits. If you're somewhere that universal credit has gone live, then i'm not sure what the position is, but generally i'd say if in doubt, claim.
hope things go well for you.
It felt like yesterday was momentous.
I still have no idea how things are going to pan out, or how I will manage to pay the bills, but I did the right thing and now I just need to get my head down and work through my notice period.
Thanks, Urban, for holding my hand yesterday.
All strength to you Guineveretoo . Here's to your future!
Just as an update, they are trying to persuade me to stay. I am not inclined to do so, because I don't think they can make sufficient changes to turn it into a place I want to work.
Good luck in the future sounds like you have had a really horrible time.
Have you got a copy of all your e-mails and files for when you have give back any IT? Buy yourself a USB hard drive, down load everything, and then keep it in a safe place. Don't tell anyone you are doing this and if they ask, deny it.
Hopefully you won't need it, but it will be useful to have.
Yes, I have been doing that
In fact, I started doing that before I handed my notice in, for this weird paranoid thought that I might get blocked from my email immediately, or that my line manager might get access to it and start deleting relevant emails. It shows how freaked out I was, that I was that paranoid!
But it is a good idea to save them all, and that is what I have been doing.
Do you think there’s any understanding of *why* you’re leaving?
as i've said before, no job is worth sacrificing your health for.
but you're better placed to judge whether the situation is repairable or not.
and whether they are really interested in dealing with the situation that's made you want to get out, or whether they just don't want the effort of replacing you with someone else who will probably get out as soon as they realise what the place is like.
is it worth setting a target - to yourself even if you don't tell them - that in (say) 3 months' time if it's still no better you'll get out. will at least give you 3 months more income, somewhere warm to go in the daytime until it's summer, and you can still look for another job if you feel so inclined. conventional wisdom is that it's easier to get a job if you're already in one rather than explaining why you're unemployed - although if current job means you don't have the right combination of time, energy and self esteem, it doesn't always work like that.
if people are out to get you, that does not make you paranoid. ultimately, any e-mail sent via a work e-mail address (and i'm not so sure about personal e-mails sent via a work computer) can be seen by management if they feel so inclined, and it's surprising how often there can be IT 'issues' that can mean that an e-mail trail disappears if the shit hits the fan.
I think there is now, because I had a long video call with our "chairman" (she is a woman! Go figure....) and I told her lots of what was wrong. I also explained to her why I didn't think they could make the changes necessary to stop me from leaving.
Weirdly, it didn't once occur to me to ask for more money! Just shows how miserable I am there - that more money wouldn't help.
I told her I had got emails and texts to back up everything I was saying....
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