About to hand my notice in

Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Guineveretoo, Feb 22, 2018.

  1. PippinTook

    PippinTook Well-Known Member

    Could you sign off sick long term on work related stress? And not return until your work situation is improved or you've found alternative employment...
    Could you make it clear to them that you'll be out a long while...so they can organise someone else to cover your work?

    Sorry ..just read your last post..
  2. Miss-Shelf

    Miss-Shelf I've looked at life from both sides now

    Just press send then
    And have a weep if that will help release the pent up anxiety
    And binge watch something enjoyable
    And know you're taking the best action for yourself within an unfair and dangerous (to your health) situation
  3. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    No, I don't think that would work. It is a small organisation with no spare capacity and my job cannot be done by a temp.

    And I think I cope better, psychologically, if I leave my job with my head held high, rather than going off sick and being at home fretting about whether my work is being covered. And, if I am sick, I can't handover, and there are lots of people who rely on me right now.
  4. Rutita1

    Rutita1 Scum with no integrity, apparently.

    Hmmm big hug Guineveretoo What an awful situation!

    I am concerned I haven't read you saying you are going to raise some kind of grievance against your manager tbh... a cynical mind could see this as constructive dismissal...literally leaving you in the shit so you will and are breaking...this isn't on. :(
  5. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    If "just press send" was so easy, I would have done that last night. I kept returning to the email and then going back and watching telly and then coming back and then decided to sleep on it.
  6. cupid_stunt

    cupid_stunt & dyslexic cnut.

    I wondering if you have a case for constructive dismissal:
    Claiming constructive dismissal

    You might be able to make a claim for constructive dismissal if you resigned because your employer:

    • allowed people to bully or harass you at work
    • made unreasonable changes to how you work, for example by forcing you to work longer hours
    • demoted you
    • refused to pay you
    • didn’t make sure your working environment was safe
    • took away benefits your contract says you get, like your company car
    • didn’t give you the support you needed to do your job
    ETA: As per the post from Rutita1 that has just appeared above this one.
  7. Rutita1

    Rutita1 Scum with no integrity, apparently.

    She didn't say it was easy guin. It clearly isn't.
  8. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    Oh, constructive dismissal is very much in my mind!

    In fact, that is one of the reasons the notice was not sent last night, as I had to plough through the legal advice and get it right.

    Constructive dismissal is a very difficult thing to prove, and you have to be very careful what you say in the notice, so, for example, I have to be critical of my manager in that notice, which means that I am terrified of what he will say when he sees it.

    But, even if I won a constructive dismissal case, it would not give me much money, so is not something to rely on.
  9. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I am a trade union official - I know all of this, and have had specific legal advice on my personal situation.

    I think I have a reasonable case, but it is not helping me to push that button.

    I also have lots of friends who are employment lawyers, but that is not helping me push that button.
  10. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I know she didn't. But "just press send" is what I am trying to do!
  11. pug

    pug Well-Known Member

    Could you go and study something if you leave?
  12. Rutita1

    Rutita1 Scum with no integrity, apparently.

    Realistically what can he say that is going to make you feel any worse than you do right now?

    You clearly have evidence that he has not supported you adequately. And whilst CC isn't something to be relied on, it seems relevant to your situation here.
  13. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I don't think I can edit the email any further.

    I think I need to press the send button.

    But I am so, so scared.
  14. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I wish. I looked into this when I left my last job, but the fees are huge and I simply don't have the money.

    Although I might look into this again, actually.
  15. Rutita1

    Rutita1 Scum with no integrity, apparently.

    I think you are right to come here to chew the fat of it before sending it.

    You are clear but talking about it will help you process it and feel more secure in your decision and the reasons you are doing this.
  16. RubyToogood

    RubyToogood can't remember what goes here

    If you're planning to resign anyway, is there any kind of last ditch attempt you can make to improve things?
  17. felixthecat

    felixthecat are we there yet?

    Ive done similar. I was in a very well paid job as a posh hotel spa manager but tbh its was an awful, awful place to work. I went from lots of money to no money and occasionally getting to the end of the month and wondering whether I ought to pay the electricity bill or feed the (very small) children. But something always came up which averted disaster. And 10 months down the line I got a job that made me much happier.

    Its a massive, scary step to make but its clearly an unsustainable situation for you. If you have the opportunity to take some sick leave, do it. And as other have said use the time to go into job hunting mode. You have a responsibility to yourself and to the people you support to be healthy and functioning on all cylinders.

    A job shouldn't make you ill.
  18. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I so close to tears that any conversation with him at all is going to be difficult.

    I feel like I am teetering on the edge and trying not to fall off and that any contact with him will push me over it.

    But I have been feeling like that for months - writing this email is me trying to end that!
  19. 19sixtysix

    19sixtysix Life as viewed from a Gay Gorbals Garret

    I know going sick is only a delay but if you clear your head that are going, take the four months sick pay and use it for you. In this world money is only a tool to do stuff and you've struggled recently. Make your life easier for a bit.
  20. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I have been in job hunting mode for some time, but am not going to go off sick, because that won't work for me.

    Slight irony there, as I have often advised people to go off sick when it is clear that their work is making them distressed.

    But I know that this won't work for me. I need to leave.
    cupid_stunt and PippinTook like this.
  21. Rutita1

    Rutita1 Scum with no integrity, apparently.

    There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your tears are a valid/normal response to the stress and worry.

    Why should you continue to hide just how awful this is for you?

    Crying doesn't make you any less capable or professional.

    They/he has pushed you to this point.

    You sound really proud Guin, I get that. But you also sound anxious and wound really tightly.

    Crying sounds like it would be a massive relief. Who cares what he thinks. x
    Stash and Guineveretoo like this.
  22. xenon

    xenon Carne Por la Machina

    What about constructive dismissal?
  23. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I feel like I have done the delaying thing and taken the time, and that going off sick now will only lead to me feeling more distressed.

    If my manager reacts badly to me handing in my notice, I may be forced to go off sick but, right now, I want to leave with a feeling of having done the best I can, and to be able to look back and not feel like I let anyone down.

    I think that would help me to apply for other jobs if one does come up.
  24. PippinTook

    PippinTook Well-Known Member

    I'm in a similar situation in some ways.
    Been bullied veey badly at work. Am unwell and took sick leave...then returned to work then went out on work related stress...then back..then sick again.
    I want out but pension would not be good because I don't have enough years built up.

    But as a friend said ... take time to think it through. Can I do the job if management supports me more? If management is not prepared to do that then I have to look at retiring on I'll health grounds.

    But either way I want out of there asap...as in the next 12 months. A recent diagnosis of SLE will help with other letters from doctors.
    I loved my job...but the management of my work place is chaotic and I want to be safe and healthy.

    I hope you will be able to get a solution to your situation that works for you.

    At the end I just decided that I want out for my health's sake and will be out once all is in place.
    cupid_stunt, Spymaster and Miss-Shelf like this.
  25. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    This is true.

    But the person who cares is me.

    I don't know if I am proud, but I am certainly tightly wound.

    It may well be that crying would be a relief, but it is too scary to let myself do it, as I am so tightly wound that I think I might unravel.

    it is a side effect of living on my own, I think, that I have to keep it together.
  26. Rutita1

    Rutita1 Scum with no integrity, apparently.

    I imagine that also, over the years you have supported others to make similarly difficult decisions and stand up to shit managers/bosses.
    Your sense of responsibility towards others and your work ethic are amazing but those things should not be a barrier to you putting yourself first now that you need to.
    crossthebreeze, mango5 and Miss-Shelf like this.
  27. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    It sounds like you are where I was a year ago!

    It is clear that nothing can improve at my place unless I leave. In fact, I think things will get worse, and the fact that I have been complaining about workload for such a long time, and doing nothing about it, means that, if I stay, nothing will continue to happen about it. It feels a bit like crying wolf, or something.
    PippinTook likes this.
  28. xenon

    xenon Carne Por la Machina

    Good luck. But yeah, I think I would go off sick for a bit. Sorry not read everything yet, late for work.

    I did once resign from a job I couldn’t get sacked from despite doing virtually no work and growing to hate. Had a bit of trouble signing on. But it was ultimately the best decision for my mental health.
    cupid_stunt and Guineveretoo like this.
  29. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    Yeah, that is exactly what is going on - it feels really ironic, and I often find myself empathising because of my own situation!

    It is a bit more than a work ethic, really - I think the problem is that my job is central to who I am as a person. I guess I am one of the folks who live to work, rather than work to live, or whatever the phrase is.

    i have always worked silly hours, and it has always been more than a job.

    But my current organisation has taken it too far, and I see no solution but leaving. Hence writing this email.
  30. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    Yeah - I am now wishing I had posted this thread last night....
    Rutita1 likes this.

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