About to hand my notice in

Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Guineveretoo, Feb 22, 2018.

  1. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I have written the email to my bosses to hand in my notice, because of overwork and the failure of the organisation to support me in this, but it is such a big thing to do - i don't have a job to go to - that I keep hesitating.

    I wrote the email last night, but couldn't bring myself to press the send button, so I have returned to it now, and I am terrified to send it.

    I am partly terrified because of how they will react once they receive it. I am distressed and upset already by their lack of support and the way they have been dealing with me, and I am worried that they will be cross when they see that I am blaming them for me doing this.

    I need help from the urban massive :(

    Help me press the send button!
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
  2. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    Oh, I don't have a job to go to. But I will get my occupational pension tomorrow, which will help, although I will need to adjust my lifestyle somewhat.
    pinkmonkey and Pickman's model like this.
  3. krtek a houby

    krtek a houby The end is meh

    The very fact that you are terrified as to how they will react says (to me, anyways) that you need to send it. Sharpish, like.
  4. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I know, it is a bit of an irony.

    I have just removed my line manager from the cc: because I don't want him to phone me up and have a go at me, when he realises it is him I am blaming for this.

    However, my terror is also about how I will manage without a salary, and how I will manage without a job. Last time I was unemployed, I felt like less than a person - I have always been defined by my occupation, which has always been a huge part of my life.
  5. dessiato

    dessiato Maholo e ke akua no kei la

    If they are making you feel like this getting out is, despite being difficult, the right thing to do.

    My last job in the UK was like this. My solution was more radical than yours, I moved to a different country. I have a lot less money, but I'm much happier and have a better quality of life. You could be the same.
  6. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    And, I have been struggling financially since I went part time 3 years ago - every month has been a struggle - so I am going to be struggling even more once I only get my pension.

    Whereas, if I can stick it out, I will have lots of money because I will have both my salary and my pension.

    But the job is making me ill and I can't take it anymore.

    But perhaps I will feel even more ill if I don't have a job.
    Pickman's model likes this.
  7. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    That's what I have got to work towards!

    Also, I really am so distressed by how overworked and unsupported I am, that I feel I will be properly ill if I don't hand in my notice.

    But it is terrifying me because I can't see myself being happier and having a better quality of life without money.
    Pickman's model likes this.
  8. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Every man and every woman is a star

    Can you see yourself being unhappier if you remain despite having money? You know how you will feel if you fall at this hurdle. At least if you leave you'll have removed a major source of unhappiness and created at least the opportunity for greater happiness
    space-tout likes this.
  9. pug

    pug Well-Known Member

    If you leave you will have a pension and could get a different job which won't make you sick, you could conceviably earn more and be happier or earn the same and be happier, or earn a bit less but still be happy because it's enough and the job doesn't suck.
    muscovyduck and heinous seamus like this.
  10. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I can see myself being ill and having to go off work sick.

    But I have this vague notion that maybe my employer will get its act together and everything will sort itself. Which seems highly unlikely!

    In fact, in the last week, I have been downloading emails which I have sent to my boss over the last few years, asking for help with my workload and stress, and I have been complaining about this for nearly 3 years and nothing has happened.

    I sent an email before I went on leave for a week recently, in which I made a desperate plea for help, but my boss has not responded at all.

    I have to leave, but I am so, so scared. I am so close to tears right now, that I know I am going to burst into tears and have panic attacks as soon as I press send. It is kind of going to get worse before it gets better.
    Pickman's model likes this.
  11. krtek a houby

    krtek a houby The end is meh

    It's a tough call. I know my job was killing me in the end. I could have stayed but at what cost to my health, gosh only knows.

    Polish up that resume and be positive about it. You're saving yourself. If you have courage to do the hard part (resigning) then you can face what comes next.

    Or... stick it out for another 2 or 3 months max. Use your spare time to apply for other jobs.Make a solemn oath to yourself that these last few months really are the end of it.
    Spymaster likes this.
  12. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I can't see myself getting another job. I went for an interview recently, for a job that would have been ideal for me - it felt like it was written for me. I interviewed really well, and did a really good presentation, but was unsuccessful. The successful candidate was internal.

    There are not many part time jobs available in my field, and it is going to be even harder to get a job from a position of unemployment, and when I can't guarantee a good reference from my current employer (yes, I know that would be illegal, but this is a small field, and word will get around that I left negatively and complained about my employer as I went...)
    Spymaster and Pickman's model like this.
  13. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I have done that bit. I swore that, if i didn't get the job I went for recently, I would resign anyway.

    That's where I am now.
  14. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Every man and every woman is a star

    What other fields would your skill set suit?
    pug likes this.
  15. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Every man and every woman is a star

    Why not go sick take the sick pay and give the urban massive time to offer solutions?
  16. 19sixtysix

    19sixtysix Life as viewed from a Gay Gorbals Garret

    Can I suggest you get yourself signed off at work (I'm presumming sick pay) as it's making you ill and just defer the resignation for when you are ready. Sounds as if you need head space to think and get better not wprrying about where the money is coming from.
  17. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I have been a trade union official since the 1980s.

    I did try and get a job that wasn't in a trade union, in the late 1990s, but no-one would have me, and I ended up getting a job for another trade union.

    I am also disabled and would struggle to commute, and can only work part time.

    So, not many jobs out there!
    equationgirl and Pickman's model like this.
  18. dessiato

    dessiato Maholo e ke akua no kei la

    Get your doctor to sign you off on long term sick due to work related depression. Then look for a job while off.

    You deserve to feel better than this.
  19. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Every man and every woman is a star

    So it's a union fucking you over?
    Albert likes this.
  20. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    Yeah, I have thought about that, but I don't think that will work for me. I think the distress of being off sick, and knowing that my work is not being done etc, would make me more sick.

    Whereas, when I hand my notice in, I can manage my departure.
  21. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I think i have deferred the resignation long enough already.

    I have done all the fretting, and I am tying this in to receiving my pension, which should be with me tomorrow.

    i have worked out that I can, in theory, manage financially, but it is certainly going to be a struggle.
  22. Miss-Shelf

    Miss-Shelf I've looked at life from both sides now

    dessiato and Guineveretoo like this.
  23. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    Yeah. Anyone who thinks trade unions are good employers has never worked for a trade union!
  24. Plumdaff

    Plumdaff joy in people

    What others have said. Don't make this decision when you're so stressed. Get signed off and have time to think and look for other work
  25. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I really did think about this.

    I am entitled to four months sick pay under my contract. But I just don't think I could do it, and I don't think it would make me feel better.

    I hope that I will feel better once I no longer have the pressure of the work, but I also know that I will struggle without the pressure of the work, as I have always worked under pressure, and always had people relying on me.

    yesterday, I was with a union member who is even more distressed than I am, and I was giving him lots of support and advice without telling him how distressed I am about my own job. It felt so odd.

    Afterwards, he went on and on about how wonderful I was, and said he wanted to hug me (I asked him not to) and sent me an email raving about how wonderful I am.

    But that wasn't enough to make me able to cope with the workload - i got back and immediately wrote the resignation email, although I was unable to press send.
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
    Pickman's model likes this.
  26. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    That was a few months ago. I am at the later stage now.

    I will always be this stressed until I leave.
    Plumdaff and Spymaster like this.
  27. cupid_stunt

    cupid_stunt & dyslexic cnut.

    Guineveretoo, sorry to hear your troubles.

    I've been in similiar situations & have walked without another job lined-up, it's scary, but sometimes it has to be done. Clearly, your circumstances are different, so all I can do is wish you luck in whatever you decide.
  28. Miss-Shelf

    Miss-Shelf I've looked at life from both sides now

    Would a few weeks (or months ) off sick help you to leave in a more certain and settled way?
    Spymaster likes this.
  29. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    I think it is also scary because, last time I was between jobs I was diagnosed with cancer and went through a seriously scary time. Although it is not logical to fret about that happening again, I suspect it is on my mind.

    Being unemployed is not something I relish.

    I have friends who retired at this age, happily and merrily, and who are enjoying their retirement. Admittedly, they have better pensions than I have, but I need to get myself into the mindset of being a retired trade union official, rather than fretting about work.
  30. Guineveretoo

    Guineveretoo Mostly bewildered

    No. I think it would do the opposite, which is why I didn't sign myself off sick weeks (or months) ago!
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018

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