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2012

I LOVED it. I love the footage of the poll tax riots they used to show London coming apart at the seams in panic, I loved the VATICAN getting blown up, I LOVED the first sequence of destruction...I loved it all. Anyone who complains about the acting or the script or whatever...what the fuck are you even doing going to see a film like this in the first place? YOU UTTER SCUM!!!!
 
8den said:
I liked the cracked.com review.



From this point forward, Cusack outraces an earthquake, drives through a collapsing building, jumps a limo AND an RV over giant cracks on the ground, outruns the ash cloud from the eruption of Yellowstone National Park on foot, drives a Bentley out of a crashing airliner onto a glacier and manages to hold his breath for roughly eight minutes underwater. Because he's been cast to be "cool" and appeal to "the kids," he does it all with the same bored, lazy, uninspired look on his face, even when he's screaming for his life.

The characters aren't even characters, they're single personality traits dressed up in human suits. When it's most convenient, they transform into convenient stepping stones for the plot. Like when Peet's plastic surgeon boyfriend happens to know how to fly a plane. Or when Cusack, mankind's least published author, also happens to also be the human being best equipped to navigate raining automobiles, failing skyscrapers and, most impressively, Los Angeles traffic in a fucking limo.

Everyone else in the movie can be summed up entirely by two-word descriptions. Danny Glover is: BLACK PRESIDENT. George Segal is: OLD DAD. Oliver Platt is: ASSHOLE BUREAUCRAT. Beatrice Rosen is: HOT WHORE. One of Cusack's kids still wets herself at age seven, an endearing character quirk until we realize that it's her defining characteristic. In fact, as the camera pulls back through the clouds to bring us the end credits, we get: "No more pull-ups!" she proudly tells a smiling Cusack. I forgot this was a plot point until she capped off the survival of humanity by reminding us of mankind's real victory: bladder control. And you're going to need a mastery of that skill if you hope to make it through all two-hours and 40-minutes of 2012

Emmerich doesn't try to avoid the classic disaster movie cliches. Nor does he try to put a creative spin on them. He simply grabs every single one of those cliches, and I mean every single disaster movie cliche you've ever seen, from Irwin Allen to his own Independence Day, and he wallows in them shamelessly. I don't mean that in the haughty literary way. I mean to use the word in the way mangy dogs understand it as they flop on their back--feet in the air, tongues lolling--and wallow in the freshly flattened carcass of some large rodent that found itself under a semi's wheels. That is how Emmerich wallows in 2012, twisting his hips, eyes glassy and wild, red rocket gleaming in the beautiful, pointlessly destructive asshole we know as the sun.
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This! This! It was cunting dreadful!

The best bit was:

"Is Rrrrrussian" about the big plane
 
MikeMcc said:
Did notice that the style of shooting changed suddenly when the gate didn't close, the first part of the film was very cinema style, then it changed to a more TV style.
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Yes. I thought it went digital for a sec or something - filming in a tank. Shit :facepalm:
 
We might be seeing it tonight - I fear, hope, I will be of Sadken's opinion 'cos I like scences of destruction!!. And I also quite liked the remake of the Poseidon Adventure :o
 
QueenOfGoths said:
We might be seeing it tonight - I fear, hope, I will be of Sadken's opinion 'cos I like scences of destruction!!. And I also quite liked the remake of the Poseidon Adventure :o
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I just get disappointed about the flatness of the characters. The review in a spoiler I just quoted, which you might not want to read of course, sums it up for me. Cut-outs - and we're expected to care? The over-wrought music expects us to care, the star billing of the actor expects us to care, the clunking script indicates somewhat that we're suypposed to care but instead it's all B-movie: Disaster 101 :mad:

I'm insulted, you know, but I really did call myself a cunt because I spent £14.75 at the snack counnter too :facepalm:
 
We are going for noodles before hand which means we can't have snacks during the filum :o I'd rather spend the noodle money on popcorn, nachos, cola and ice cream tbh but that is not a nutritious meal, apparently :(
 
I still have some of my sack of Revels left. I'm going to eat them without using my hands while I wash-up tonight :)
 
Sadken said:
I LOVED it. I love the footage of the poll tax riots they used to show London coming apart at the seams in panic, I loved the VATICAN getting blown up, I LOVED the first sequence of destruction...I loved it all. Anyone who complains about the acting or the script or whatever...what the fuck are you even doing going to see a film like this in the first place? YOU UTTER SCUM!!!!
Click to expand...

Yep. If you want King Lear, go to a play!

If you want to see the Pope being run over by a church, see the movie.
 
It was great!! Perfect mindless, undemanding big screen fun. Great destuction scenes - though no Paris :eek: - cheesy dialogue and characters plus a dog.

What more do you want!

Also set off an interesting discussion about which world leaders/figureheads would save themselves and which would stay with their sinking ships, well countries in this case. I reckon Liz and Phil would stay but send off Charles, Camilla and the boys whereas I think Berlusconi already has various escape routes already in place :D
 
The fireworks factories were amazing but I found everything else to be pretty tiresome. I know I shouldn't complain that a huge Hollywood blockbuster has weak characterisation & a wafer thin plot but can it really be that hard to do both? There's plenty of big dumb action films that have decent plots with characters you actually want to win at the end.

I think that cracked review is completely on the money really.
 
About the ending...
The film could and should have been about 20 minutes shorter really.

That 27 days later stuff with everyone looking out the side of the ship was superfluous, as was 'tying up the loose end' that wasn't really a loose end about the president's daughter and the scientist, I mean it was *obvious* that was destined to happen, so they didn't need to spell it out.

And why couldn't Gordon have lived and Jackson got off with the got Russian bird? And then everyone could have lived happily ever after? It was like, oh dear, test screening audience says that hero and his ex-wife have to get back together so what are we going to do with the boyfriend?

Anyway, I loved all the CGI and destruction and disaster scenes.
 
I thought it was hilarious the way this bit happened;

At the end there was the big-shit-deal opening of the windows on the Arks and all those people stepped out into The New World...their New Planet....New Earth where Kwazulu Natal was now the highest mountain and the South Pole was in Wisconsin and....and....it was just a boring orangey sunset :D

Fucking hilarious :facepalm:
 
12013283-12013285-large.jpg

Jackson Curtis
hkh3ep-560x420.jpg

Martin Q. Blank

:D
 
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