Can squirrels get addicted to crack?

[Bob]

Now in many ways this thread should be in Suburban, or maybe drugs. But you'll see why it really belongs in Brixton.

Yesterday I was chatting to one of my neighbours and he pointed out that the reason I had found his screwdriver in our front garden (in central Brixton) was that crack users / dealers sometimes hide bits of their stash in our garden.

An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.

Now I assume that if the squirrel dug up a rock of crack and nibbled it it wouldn't get any effect. But what if it did? And do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels? Turf wars (flower bed wars) between dealers & squirrels? :confused:

Squirrels have nasty bites so I'm now worried by being done over by a twitchy squirrel.

[zenie]

LMAO only in Brixton :D

[Ms T]

I still don't understand why your neighbour's screwdriver was in your garden? :confused:

I don't know about squirrels, but I reckon our cats have become addicted to kitty crack (catnip). We got home last night to find they'd found the bag, and ripped it open so it was all over the kitchen. :D

[Bob]

I still don't understand why your neighbour's screwdriver was in your garden? :confused:



They'd been using it to either mark where they put something or to dig the crack up with. My neighbour's front garden is fairly full of building rubbish - so they'd probably nicked it from there.

[passenger]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v643/passenger2/squirrels2.jpg


i gooogled it :D

[fanta]

Now in many ways this thread should be in Suburban, or maybe drugs. But you'll see why it really belongs in Brixton.

Yesterday I was chatting to one of my neighbours and he pointed out that the reason I had found his screwdriver in our front garden (in central Brixton) was that crack users / dealers sometimes hide bits of their stash in our garden.

An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.

Now I assume that if the squirrel dug up a rock of crack and nibbled it it wouldn't get any effect. But what if it did? And do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels? Turf wars (flower bed wars) between dealers & squirrels? :confused:

Squirrels have nasty bites so I'm now worried by being done over by a twitchy squirrel.

Wow :eek:

Have you though of writing and suggesting this as a vital research subject to New Scientist?

[twistedAM]

I don't know about squirrels, but I reckon our cats have become addicted to kitty crack (catnip).

It's true. That happened to Cartman's cat in South Park...she invited all the cats round and they were chopping up lines of catnip and snorting it.

[lang rabbie]

Now I assume that if the squirrel dug up a rock of crack and nibbled it it wouldn't get any effect. But what if it did? And do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels?

Medical researchers have developed self-medicating cocaine-binging rats*, so I supect a squirrel could become a crackhead.

But, who cares about the science - just issue a press release to the South London Press, saying how concerned you are about the health of the squirrels. Crime and furry animals - it's bound to make the front page of The SLP. :)

When the RSPCA get wind of a story that there are crack-crazed squirrels at risk of harm in the area, their vigilante forces will zoom into action.

The local crack dealers will have to face the daunting prospect of hundreds of middle-aged Home Counties animal-lovers maintaining a twenty-four hour vigil to protect innocent squirrels from the crack menace.


* Source: I kid you not - Repeated self-administered cocaine "binges" in rats: effects on cocaine intake and withdrawal (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=11351936&dopt=Citation) Psychopharmacology (Berl). 2001 Mar;154(3):292-300.

[Bob]

Medical researchers have developed self-medicating cocaine-binging rats*, so I supect a squirrel could become a crackhead.

But, who cares about the science - just issue a press release to the South London Press, saying how concerned you are about the health of the squirrels. Crime and furry animals - it's bound to make the front page of The SLP. :)

When the RSPCA get wind of a story that there are crack-crazed squirrels at risk of harm in the area, their vigilante forces will zoom into action.

The local crack dealers will have to face the daunting prospect of hundreds of middle-aged Home Counties animal-lovers maintaining a twenty-four hour vigil to protect innocent squirrels from the crack menace.


:cool: They can clear up my front yard while they're there.

I did read a history of cocaine recently. Apparently they've given it to chimps too - who have to hit a bar to get their dose of cocaine. The researchers then increase the number of times the chimp has to hit a bar til the point that the chimp gives up. With most drugs they find a number of hits where the chimp can't be bothered anymore. With cocaine the chimps keep on hitting the bar until the researchers stop the experiment - in one case after the chimp has twacked it 13,000 times. :eek:

[deese_nuts]

I don't know about squirrels, but I reckon our cats have become addicted to kitty crack (catnip). We got home last night to find they'd found the bag, and ripped it open so it was all over the kitchen. :D
http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7702/pleaseenjoy0yx.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[guinnessdrinker]

:cool: They can clear up my front yard while they're there.

I did read a history of cocaine recently. Apparently they've given it to chimps too - who have to hit a bar to get their dose of cocaine. The researchers then increase the number of times the chimp has to hit a bar til the point that the chimp gives up. With most drugs they find a number of hits where the chimp can't be bothered anymore. With cocaine the chimps keep on hitting the bar until the researchers stop the experiment - in one case after the chimp has twacked it 13,000 times. :eek:

:mad: where are the animal rights protesters when we need them?

[nipsla]

Yesterday I was chatting to one of my neighbours and he pointed out that the reason I had found his screwdriver in our front garden (in central Brixton) was that crack users / dealers sometimes hide bits of their stash in our garden.

An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.

Now I assume that if the squirrel dug up a rock of crack and nibbled it it wouldn't get any effect. But what if it did? And do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels? Turf wars (flower bed wars) between dealers & squirrels? :confused:

Squirrels have nasty bites so I'm now worried by being done over by a twitchy squirrel.

Maybe a more important question is though...

Could we somehow wean the Brixton crack-heads onto nuts? That would be an interesting experiment. :D

[Stobart Stopper]

Maybe a more important question is though...

Could we somehow wean the Brixton crack-heads onto nuts? That would be an interesting experiment. :D
It just wouldn't sound right at the copshop:

"Why did you rob that man of his wallet and mobile phone?"

"I wanted to buy nuts,officer."

"Don't bullshit me, son."

"No, seriously. I needed to sell the phone to buy nuts. I'm an addict."

[Red Faction]

this is one of the reasons i love U75 so
this thread belongs in the archive!!

[Louloubelle]

Turf wars (flower bed wars) between dealers & squirrels? :confused:

surely you mean tufty wars?

http://images.quizilla.com/W/wurzeltod/1047213826_rrel_drunk.jpg












*gets coat"

[Bob]

That's made my morning. :cool: :)

[prunus]

When the RSPCA get wind of a story that there are crack-crazed squirrels at risk of harm in the area, their vigilante forces will zoom into action.

The local crack dealers will have to face the daunting prospect of hundreds of middle-aged Home Counties animal-lovers maintaining a twenty-four hour vigil to protect innocent squirrels from the crack menace.


This is probably the best idea I've heard in ages!!! :D

[geminisnake]

Tears of laughter rolling down my face :D

I'm going to pm pogofish a link to this thread, dunno if he'll be able to advise one way or t'other.

[pogofish]

Brilliant thread! :D :D

There are studies into cocaine/other drugs & the effects on rodents but not specifically squirrells. The picture it conjures is great - squirrells defend their nut stashes with great courage & determination so I'd imagine that a crack-crazed tree-rat would be a formidable opponent indeed.

Some of the dealers might even try training them to defend their supplies!

Bringing it to the attention of the animal agencies would probably be the best thing - If only to sit back & watch the moral panic get into high-gear! :)

[Skim]

surely you mean tufty wars?



:D :D

What a tragic end for Tufty :(

[Louloubelle]

can human get addicted to squirrels?

http://www.scarysquirrel.org/pal/sha1.html

:eek:

[trabuquera]

...in London parks last year or the year before?
I could have sworn I read about it somewhere - folks just toddling along the pathways and being landed on & clawed up by irate squirrels. Or was it just an urban legend?

so glad someone else linked to scarysquirrel.com.... anyway, I too had heard urban legends of squirrels licking out abandoned crack vials and going all antisocial. however it may be bullshit - (sorry for ingcredibly iggnorant drug question but ..) surely you wouldn't be getting any high off EATING crack or crack residue anyway, even if you was a squirrel? don't you have to heat it first to benefit from its wonderful psychological effects?

[Blagsta]

An acquaintance of mine got mugged by squirrels in Springfield Park in Hackney.

[PacificOcean]

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7702/pleaseenjoy0yx.gif (http://imageshack.us)


I haven't laughed so hard in ages!

[aylee]

I hereby nominate this thread for Thread Title of the Year 2005. :D :D :D

[shakespearegirl]

A friend of mine in East London had been stashing weed in a pot plant in her back garden. Next morning half of it was missing (it had been in two bags). She was very puzzled and a bit paranoid. A few days later getting up v early in the morning she spotted a fox digging around in the same pot plant. Needless to say she moved her stash although the fox kept making repeat visits for a couple of weeks

[trabuquera]

about the crack-crazed squirrels but they certainly do attack and bite people every so often. They don't have the excuse of drug dependency tho'. but I like the sound of this rodent bandit:

POLICE OFFICER SEES RED AFTER ATTACK BY RAMPAGING GREY SQUIRREL.
From The Northern Echo - 27/10/2003 (288 words)
POLICE have launched a squirrel hunt after an officer was attacked by a furry felon. PC Graeme Whitfield was working on the crime desk at Consett police station, County Durham, when the squirrel burst in and bit him. Someone had left the door of the station open and the grey squirrel saw its chance, ran up the outside of the officer's trouser leg and sunk its teeth into his hand.

Now police have launched an inquiry and have issued "Wanted" posters in an effort to catch the squirrel. PC Whitfield, 31, said: "I was working when I heard a commotion in the corridor. I looked out and saw a couple of officers who said a squirrel had run into the building. Before I knew it the squirrel had run at me, up my trouser leg and we had a scuffle. It bit my hand, drawing blood, and climbed up the blinds before making off again.

"It was pretty painful but luckily I had a tetanus jab only a couple of weeks before, so I didn't need another one. The word went around the station like wildfire and the lads in the Intelligence Unit soon made Wanted posters with a picture of a squirrel on it. No arrests have been made but we are on the look-out."

It is believed the animal was foraging for food when it entered the building.
Officers at the station are asking colleagues to be vigilant and to pass on any information to divisional wildlife liaison officer, Acting Inspector Eddie Bell.
He said: "It is unusual for a squirrel to attack someone and I think PC Whitfield has been extremely unlucky.We don't want the public thinking they have to be on their guard due to an outbreak of sudden squirrel violence. This was a one-off. PC Whitfield was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

[starryeyedsarah]

I don't know about squirrels, but I reckon our cats have become driver addicted to kitty crack (catnip). :) We got home last night to find they'd found the bag, and ripped it open so it was all over the kitchen. :D[/QUOTE]

ask fat freddy...mrs T , ask fatfreddy....ps don't forget to check yer headphones... ;)

[starryeyedsarah]

I hereby nominate this thread for Thread Title of the Year 2005. :D :D :D

"Aye" :D :D

[Chuff]

this reminds me of Goa'n sussages, famous throughout India, its all the good eating (tourist poo) unfortunately every year when it gets too hot and the season ends loads die from the sudden shoch of their Heroin supply dissapearing. :(

[William of Walworth]

Crime and furry animals - it's bound to make the front page of The SLP. :)


Disturbing premonition from lang rabbie here!!

Has anyone seen the front page of the most recent South London Press? (yesterday, Thursday 6th October)

This morning I saw -- unless I'm dreaming it -- a front page headline about this very subject :eek:

But I can't find it on the SLP website ... :confused:

Maybe they lifted it from HERE!! :(

[passenger]

this story is being discused on L.B.C 97.3 FM :eek: right now

[lang rabbie]

[LR dashes to newsagent - so much for working from home this morning!]

I think I've won a long-standing bet with someone on what the SLP could publish as a front page with the most implausible combination of cute animals and gritty urban crime :o :D

Four column splash
SQUIRRELS ON CRACK

[overlaid on photomontage of squirrel with "rock" of crack
Caption: HIGH UP IN THE TREES: how a squirrel might look nibbling on a rock of crack. ]

Exclusive by Greg Truscott

Nature lovers fear that squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts hidden stashes. The furry animals are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton - stealing rocks of crack hidden in front gardens.
....

Full Squirrels on Crack (http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0400lambeth/tm_objectid=16217629&method=full&siteid=50100&headline=squirrels-on-crack-name_page.html) story now on SLP website

Surely a career on the Currant Bun beckons for our Greg :(

[Bob]

this story is being discused on L.B.C 97.3 FM :eek: right now


Any other reports of squirrels with drug addiction? ;)

[lang rabbie]

this story is being discused on L.B.C 97.3 FM :eek: right now

Someone called Pete is e-mailing them "alarming documentary evidence" of the Brixton squirrel drugs horror as I type.

[Bob]

From here (http://www.lse.co.uk/ShowStory.asp?story=LJ718374D&news_headline=squirrels_may_get_hooked_on_crack)

LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) - Nature lovers fear squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts' hidden stashes.

The creatures are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton, south London, stealing crack rocks hidden in suburban front gardens.

Tough police action to rid the town centre of dealers and addicts has seen crackheads abandon their usual drug stash hideouts.

But the blitz has displaced some dealing into nearby residential streets.

Drug addicts are known to be hiding small stashes of crack rocks in people's front lawns late at night.

Squirrels have been spotted in the same front gardens, seemingly hunting out the buried narcotics.

The discovery has led some residents to speculate that the squirrels are already in the grips of addiction.

They fear the drugs problem has created a new zoological phenomenon known as the Brixton Crack Squirrel.

One central Brixton resident, who asked for his name to be withheld, said "I was chatting with my neighbour who told me that crack users and dealers sometimes use my front garden to hide bits of their stash.

"An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in
the flowerbeds.

"It looked like it knew what it was looking for.

"It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot but it kept on desperately digging. It was almost as if it was trying to find hidden crack rocks."

Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in America.

They are known to live in parks frequented by addicts in New York and Washington DC.

The squirrels have been known to attack other park visitors in their frenzied search for their next fix.

A spokeswoman for the RSPCA said she had yet to hear of Brixton Crack Squirrels but it would not be out of character for an animal that is well known for foraging.

"We have not had any dealers reporting the theft of their stash by squirrels but the animal is attracted by smell and if it detects something it likes it will dig it up.

"If a squirrel did open a bag of crack and start consuming it there is no doubt it would die pretty quickly.

"I suspect that nobody has reported it because they are a wild animal and when they are found dead no-one cares."

[lang rabbie]

The earliest reference to the infamous Brixton Crack Squirrel that I can trace is here, from a Blog by a sometime Brixtonian then resident in Toronto:

Whatever, I don't think they would be any match for the fearsome Brixton Crack Squirrel, which feeds entirely on discarded rocks of crack cocaine and is generally rather bolshy for such a small creature. They used to hang out in the little park in front of the Ritzy Cinema, twitching spastically, dancing to music only they could hear and generally creating a malevolent ambience. The squirrels here are much friendlier and less intimidating. How archetypically Canadian. But I digress... ;)

I, for one, welcome our tree-dwelling rodent overlords (http://rik.typepad.com/blog/2004/11/i_for_one_welco.html)

[alef]

Reports of ground squirrels high on crack believing themselves to be flying squirrels and leaping to their deaths are unconfirmed, and probably just media exaggeration.

What I want to know is why the squirrels might be turning to crack. Is it only occurring in the communities of socially deprived squirrels? Is it perhaps an innercity malaise for young squirrels trying to find meaning in their lives?

I say root out the source of the problem rather than just blame the dealers and the addicts.

[deese_nuts]

http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0200southlondonheadlines/tm_objectid=16217629%26method=full%26siteid=50100%26headline=squirrels-on-crack-name_page.html

Was this thread started by inspiration or is it coincidence that it features in the South London Press?(link above)

[Agent Sparrow]

http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0200southlondonheadlines/tm_objectid=16217629%26method=full%26siteid=50100%26headline=squirrels-on-crack-name_page.html

Was this thread started by inspiration or is it coincidence that it features in the South London Press?(link above)
I think most of us suspect that it was the South London Press which was "inspired" by here. :D

[Johnny Canuck2]

We have a term here: to 'go squirrelly'.

If you're flipping out, and not just from drugs, but in any way, someone might say you're going squirrelly.

I think it's safe to say that crack-eating squirrels would be pretty squirrelly. Squirrels were like the crack addicts of the animal kingdom to begin with. When do you ever see a squirrel that isn't moving or jumping around, seemingly always looking for something? And those are just the normal squirrels, to the extent that any squirrel can be described as normal.

[maximilian ping]

http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0200southlondonheadlines/tm_objectid=16217629%26method=full%26siteid=50100%26headline=squirrels-on-crack-name_page.html

Was this thread started by inspiration or is it coincidence that it features in the South London Press?(link above)

answer here

http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=134279&highlight=squirrels

[deese_nuts]

very good!

[hendo]

This story about squirrels on crack has now appeared in the Daily Mail.
:D

[Johnny Canuck2]

Crack Squirrel
Sonny Charles & The Checkmates, Ltd.


Crack squirrel, precious little fur
Let me put you up where you belong
Crack squirrel little fur
You been in the background much too long
You been working so hard your whole life through
Tendin' other people's houses
Raisin' up their children too
Hey how about something for me and you
Here in my arms you're gonna reign supreme
No more servin' baby
They're gonna serve my queen
It's our turn for happiness and our day has come
Living for each other answering to no one

Crack squirrel precious little fur
Let me put you up where you belong
Because I love you
Crack squirrel pretty little fur
You been in the background much too long
Together we'll stand so straight and so tall
Created by love to love one and all
Hey heart to heart soul to soul
No other one could ever take your place
My world is built around
The very smile that's on your face
You'll never win a beauty show
No they won't pick you
But you're my miss America
I love you

[rastherb]

I haven't laughed so hard in ages!
I need a cat like that :cool:

[LilJen]

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/7702/pleaseenjoy0yx.gif (http://imageshack.us)The real reason Liljen doesnt need skinning up lessons no more

[hendo]

And now it's on Page 5 of the Guardian.

It's a quiet weekend for news. :D

[Wyn]

Let me put you up where you belong
I love you
Aww, Black pearl, precious little girl :) I haven't heard that for years :(

[Johnny Canuck2]

Aww, Black pearl, precious little girl :) I haven't heard that for years :(

It's a nice song.

[Stobart Stopper]

The crackhead squirrel story has just been on BBC Breakfast, they said a Scotland Yard spokesman said "we are not aware of any problem", they would say that wouldn't they?
I have seen dodgy looking squirrels in Hackney as well, they sit on the wall of the police station yard. This is no joke. My husband has seen them digging in gardens around there as well. Take the other day...........
He said the squirrel dug up the crack then along came his squirrel mate who was obviously a dealer. So they both got nicked and taken back but it was a "no comment" interview apparently, lots of tail-flicking went on though.
Bloody disgusting state of affairs IMO>

[Pot-Bellied Pig]

Urban Message Board blows long term police operation code named- OPERATION NUTJOB.
Sources close to Scotland Yard have revealed that senior officers are upset at the prospect of this expensive operation being ' blown' after reports of the crack addicted squirrells appeared in the local and national press. They have been reported as having launched an enquiry to find how the leak occured .
Sources are saying that the squirrells are part of a specially trained elite drugs unit attached to the National Crime Squad. Apparently they have been trained to sniff out and uncover crack deals left burried by pushers in surburban Brixton gardens and parks and to recover them to safe locations. Animal experts have long reported that grey squirrells have the fine sense of smell and intelligence to be trained to do the job.
A quoted senior officer has said that in some cases the squirrells over stepped the operational brief and ingested the crack rocks giving them the appearance of being ' totally out of their furry minds '. Detectives were forced to track them and rescue them from difficult situations involving the public.
One reported incident involved a pair of rampaging greys who were spotted along Electric Avenue, their food pouches stuffed full of crack. After CS Spray had no positive effect the police were forced to use Taser Guns to bring the crazed animals into custody.

[Stobart Stopper]

The Commissioner is going to do his nut when he reads this!

[Final]

First hitting the pipe, now this... sometimes I worry about those guys...

http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/beers.jpg

[editor]

It was on the BBC radio news too!

Come to think of it, there's loads of junkie activity outside my flat and I've seen more and more lively foxes around too. Could there be crack-addicted foxes out there too?

[rennie]

one fox was rummaging thru my bin bag a few weeks ago! on our doorstep!(we're on the 2nd floor) i opened the back door n was pleasently surprised. My screams in Arabic didn't seem to scare him.
:rolleyes:
my mate says i shoudl go Tally ho or summthin.

[LDR]

It was on the BBC radio news too!I've just heard Tony Blackburn on Radio 2 banging on about the crack squirrels of Brixton too.

[passenger]

some one told me it was in the Mirror :o

[JWH]

It's in the frigging Sun, too! :D :D :D

This is really great. I want you to go back and read Leon's posts. I was standing next to two guys in the bus today that were reading the article and they were pissing themselves with laughter. I am sure there are lots of people around the UK doing the same thing, so there's a lot of fun being had today. I guess some people might not see through the fact it's got to be an invention and would be a bit depressed by it, but I can't imagine there are many.

"Squirrels go nuts on crack"
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005460823,,00.html

[hayduke]

In today's Guardian too!!!

South London squirrels after different kind of stash (http://www.guardian.co.uk/drugs/Story/0,2763,1587733,00.html)

[Brainaddict]

yep, just saw this in the guardian. it mentions the possibility of crack foxes too! :D

[Stobart Stopper]

Everyone is getting out of their tree IMO.
Poor squirrels, I feel sorry for them. And there I was thinking it was all a big urban myth!

[Brainaddict]

thing is, how many of these news sources are actually taking this story seriously? it's obvious that the guardian doesn't, but what about the others?

from the guardian:

""I've only been released from prison today but I've heard about the squirrels. They are scoffing all the crack, more stoned than me. Have you ever seen cats with hash? Cats always go for hash."

There is no sign of a squirrel half-crazed on Class As along Coldharbour Lane or Rush Common - but, finally, a possible sighting. "I've just seen one jump down from an old sunflower by the Seventh Day Adventist church," said Reg Throssell. "I locked eyes with it and it stared back at me really confidently. It was scavenging and it looked scrawny.""

:D

[Stobart Stopper]

some one told me it was in the Mirror :o
It is:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=16223386&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=squirrel-crack-kin--name_page.html

[Brainaddict]

A housemate of mine has just suggested a new urban 'crack squirrels' t-shirt.

I'm thinking it would have a picture of a squirrel with really bloodshot eyes and a slogan like: "Urban75: home of the original crack squirrels"
or perhaps "Urban75: the fix for Brixton crack squirrels"

Any volunteers to do the artwork? :D

[Orang Utan]

Urban Crack Squirrel Squad - saving Brixton from the zombies

[Brainaddict]

Urban Crack Squirrel Squad - saving Brixton from the zombies
I like it :D

[Orang Utan]

It's got me thinking - perhaps the crack squirrels are a secret police initiative - they've been trained to steal all the crack

[Brainaddict]

Incidentally, let's look at the science of this story: *can* you get a hit off crack by eating it? :p

[tastebud]

And there I was thinking it was all a big urban myth!
a ridiculous one at that.

[Brainaddict]

Back to the t-shirt theme, how about 'Beware the Brixton crack squirrels'?

[rutabowa]

In today's Guardian too!!!

South London squirrels after different kind of stash (http://www.guardian.co.uk/drugs/Story/0,2763,1587733,00.html)
it's on the front page of the Guardian, with a picture!

[Orang Utan]

it's on the front page of the Guardian, with a picture!
Er..it's on page 7

[tastebud]

it's on both.

[Orang Utan]

it's on both.
:o so it is

[rutabowa]

yep, full story page 7 but picture and headline on front page. it is crazy.

[Orang Utan]

It'll be in The National Enquirer next

[tastebud]

not particularly surprising these days to be honest, but apparently the beeb are taking the story seriously and whilst i haven't read them i'd hate to read what the sun and the mirror say about it.. the guardian snippet was lighthearted enough to be vaguely amusing.. i suppose.

[lostexpectation]

definitly better then the dog on a hook story, which is probably still on the rspca site to their shame...

[Orang Utan]

definitly better then the dog a hook story, which is proably still on the rspca site to their shame...
Did that turn out to be bollocks then?

[ianw]

i burst out laughing on the tube when i got to page seven of the guardian today. :D the power of a slow news weekend!

i reckon t shirts are a must.

i eat crack squirrels

:)

[editor]

It is:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=16223386&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=squirrel-crack-kin--name_page.htmlThat's got a direct quote off these boards!

[rennie]

In the mirror story: "The squirrel raids have led to rival drug gangs blaming each other for the stolen drugs"



priceless!!!! :D

[ianw]

In the mirror story: "The squirrel raids have led to rival drug gangs blaming each other for the stolen drugs"



priceless!!!! :D


yeah, that made me laugh too! just goes to show how much is made up in the tabloid stories. not that we didn't know that already of course, but it's interesting to see it in action.

you can almost picture the process. the hack bashing out the original story and then thinking 'hmm, it's missing something...crack...gangs...ah, yes, i know...'

[rennie]

definitely... what's so compelling about squirrels after all?

[Stobart Stopper]

That's got a direct quote off these boards!That's a bloody cheek! It's theft IMO!

[Brainaddict]

The whole debacle does give you a bit of insight into the construction of a news story doesn't it? :(

I wonder if they'll realise they've been printing shite, and if they do realise, will they do anything to retract the stories?

[Orang Utan]

I wonder if they'll realise they've been printing shite, and if they do realise, will they do anything to retract the stories?
I doubt it, though I can imagine a paper who hasn't covered it (The Independent?) gleefully pointing it out. Perhaps someone should get in touch (I doubt Private Eye would be interested, but you never know)

[Brainaddict]

I've been googling for the effects of eating crack (as opposed to smoking it) but can't find much.

*leaves thread for drugs forum* :D

[cybotto]

Remebered me when I was in Palenque and a quirrel like animal called techon or so used to steal peoples weed and mushrooms what they stashed in the palm roof.

He used to drink mushroom tea as well when somebody left it, I know it was a he since he had sex with my trouser wanking all over it after getting high.

[Stobart Stopper]

I doubt it, though I can imagine a paper who hasn't covered it (The Independent?) gleefully pointing it out. Perhaps someone should get in touch (I doubt Private Eye would be interested, but you never know)
It's not in the Independent, I checked when I went to the shop. Don't think it's in the Times either, I had a look through but didn't come across anything.

[Brainaddict]

Remebered me when I was in Palenque and a quirrel like animal called techon or so used to steal peoples weed and mushrooms what they stashed in the palm roof.

He used to drink mushroom tea as well when somebody left it, I know it was a he since he had sex with my trouser wanking all over it after getting high.
384 posts in five years and when you do post, it's about animals wanking on you. And it's badly spelt and punctuated at that. What are we meant to think of you huh? :D

[detective-boy]

384 posts in five years and when you do post, it's about animals wanking on you. And it's badly spelt and punctuated at that. What are we meant to think of you huh? :D
Sounds to me like we've unmasked one of the lurking journos ... :D

[shandy]

it's in the Daily Mail today. The bloke who runs my local offy was just pissing himself reading the story to me. I thought about telling him it was actually a pile of toss but then I realised i'd get home quicker for an ale if i Let It Be.

[dogmatique]

I still haven't seen Bob's response to his new found media savvidom... have I missed it somewhere, or is the old chap being enigmatic? (Or visiting parents)

I still can't get over picking up the SLP this afternoon and showing it to people in the pub before the England game. It's a crazy crazy world.

[chio]

(I doubt Private Eye would be interested, but you never know)

It sounds like the sort of thing that would get a snippet in "Street Of Shame".

[Maggot]

I wonder if they'll realise they've been printing shite, and if they do realise, will they do anything to retract the stories?Only if the squirrels threaten a libel action.

[nipsla]

Only if the squirrels threaten a libel action.

Dear Sir/Madam

Following reports in the press today regarding allegations of apalling behaviour by the squirrel community in Brixton, my members asked me to investigate the allegations behalf of the National Union of Tree Squirrels (Brixton branch).

My investigations have found that the original allegation lies with your member "Bob". These allegations have had a profound and dangerous effect on the squirrel community. It seems from intelligence within the squirrel communitty that said "Bob" is acting on behalf of the dangerous terrorist cell of red squirrels that have been rumoured to be operating in Brixton for some time. These squirrels have waged a war of PR to try and have the peace-loving community of grey squirrels ostracised from polite society in the United Kingdom.

I request a full written apology and substantial compensation from your website to help the squirrel community as a whole recover from this terrible slur. If we do not receive the apology and compensation within 24 hours, we wll pursue a legal injunction to have your website shut down. The compensation should be left under the 3rd tree from the left by the lido in Brockwell Park. Please bury this in the box marked N.U.T.S (Brixtion branch).

Yours sincerely

Tufty McDougall
Chair
National Union of Tree Squirrels (N.U.T.S) - Brixton Branch

[alef]

Part of the reason this story has spread so fast is that it's funny. But perhaps talking about squirrels has also become a way of actually bringing up the fact that crack in Brixton is horrendous, a story which without squirrels is considered too depressing to give column inches to...

[Mrs Magpie]

I've just heard Fi Glover mention this on Radio 4's Broadcasting House.....

btw, when I showed IntoStella the SLP and the grauniad (amid unbridled hilarity) she remarked that she'd seen a squirrel frantically digging in central Brixton and eating what she thought was a bit of pale fungi...or not a bit of pale fungi, as the case may be......

[Mrs Magpie]

I think I've won a long-standing bet with someone on what the SLP could publish as a front page with the most implausible combination of cute animals and gritty urban crimeDo you get extra for National coverage?

[lostexpectation]

... dangerous terrorist cell of red squirrels that have been rumoured to be operating in Brixton for some time. These squirrels have waged a war of PR to try and have the peace-loving community of grey squirrels ostracised from polite society in the United Kingdom.


no no no, you do its these damn illegal american grey squirrels who come and started taking the red squirrels resourcesthey have so little and these guys are taking it, next you'll want to be giving them rehab centres and free houses in their neighbourhoods area.

[JWH]

T-shirt!
T-shirt!

:D

[lang rabbie]

I've just heard Fi Glover mention this on Radio 4's Broadcasting House.....
:D
Damn, it had to be this morning I had the kitchen radio tuned to Radio 3 - is BH on "listen-again"?

[hayduke]

:D
Damn, it had to be this morning I had the kitchen radio tuned to Radio 3 - is BH on "listen-again"?

It sure is (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/news/bh/)

[Blagsta]

Its made it all the way to the editorial column of the Observer. :D

[gaijingirl]

Today's Observer, page 24

Twisted Tails

Has the World gone nuts?

(Beatrix Potter) would have been shocked to read reports last week that in south London, where an exhibition of her drawings opens this week, squirrels are aping the worst human habits and becoming hooked on crack cocaine..... One report describes a squirrel foraging frantically in a flower bed "Its eyes were bloodshot, but it kept on digging".

[William of Walworth]

Incestuous 'journalism', all this ... :rolleyes:

Involving plagiarism of plagiarists ....

[William of Walworth]

First hitting the pipe, now this... sometimes I worry about those guys...

http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/beers.jpg

Shite taste in 'beer', squirrels! :mad: :(

Best off sticking to crack! :p

[William of Walworth]

Urban Message Board blows long term police operation code named- OPERATION NUTJOB.
Sources close to Scotland Yard have revealed that senior officers are upset at the prospect of this expensive operation being ' blown' after reports of the crack addicted squirrells appeared in the local and national press. They have been reported as having launched an enquiry to find how the leak occured .
Sources are saying that the squirrells are part of a specially trained elite drugs unit attached to the National Crime Squad. Apparently they have been trained to sniff out and uncover crack deals left burried by pushers in surburban Brixton gardens and parks and to recover them to safe locations. Animal experts have long reported that grey squirrells have the fine sense of smell and intelligence to be trained to do the job.
A quoted senior officer has said that in some cases the squirrells over stepped the operational brief and ingested the crack rocks giving them the appearance of being ' totally out of their furry minds '. Detectives were forced to track them and rescue them from difficult situations involving the public.
One reported incident involved a pair of rampaging greys who were spotted along Electric Avenue, their food pouches stuffed full of crack. After CS Spray had no positive effect the police were forced to use Taser Guns to bring the crazed animals into custody.

:D :D :D :p :cool:

[William of Walworth]

"I've just seen one jump down from an old sunflower by the Seventh Day Adventist church," said Reg Throssell. "I locked eyes with it and it stared back at me really confidently. It was scavenging and it looked scrawny.""

:D

'Reg Throssell', eh??? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :D :p

[lang rabbie]

'Reg Throssell', eh??? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :D :p

You are doubting the veracity of The Manchester Guardian :eek:

[laptop]

M.C. Throssell lives just off the Mottingham Road... d'you think they could sue the Grauniad?

[Stobart Stopper]

That post by Pot Bellied Pig, it's all true. Every word.
There are about 10 squirrels in custody at the moment.

[dogmatique]

You could always eat them. Butler's Wharf Chop house does a nice line in braised squirrels legs, or squirrel loin wrapped in bacon (http://www.iht.com/articles/2005/10/09/travel/trlon.php). Marvellous stuff, no?

[lang rabbie]

The Brixton Crack Squirrel has now inspired poetry (http://www.cooksdelight.co.uk/poems/poem.htm?id=1949) :D

[dogmatique]

Another honorary mention (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/10/london_squirrel_terror/)

[top_biller]

After the blanket coverage from broadsheet and tabloid alike ;) , I was relieved to get through the whole of the Sunday Times main section without seeing it mentioned. Until I turned to the back page, where it was commented upon underneath a huge picture of a squirrel.

This whole thing is hilarious. :D

[Stobart Stopper]

This whole thing is hilarious. :D
The Commissioner aint laughing, now that Operation Nutjob has had it's cover blown, he's getting out of his tree, so I have heard.

[subversplat]

People keep coming up to me in the pub and going on about crack squirrels now. Over and over.

Thanks a lot. :(

[Stobart Stopper]

People keep coming up to me in the pub and going on about crack squirrels now. Over and over.

Thanks a lot. :(
nut 'em.

[SubZeroCat]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/10/london_squirrel_terror/

:D

They've stolen the same quote too.....

[dogmatique]

there was a cartoon in the sun today, making a tenuous pete doherty reference, with him as a squirrel jacking up in Brixton.

[pooka]

.....that senior officers are upset at the prospect of this expensive operation being ' blown' after reports of the crack addicted squirrells appeared in the local and national press.

Perhaps now they've been unmasked they can join the regulars and replace the drug dogs - save a bob or two on feeding and they wouldn't have to be transported about in vans; they coould just sit on their handler's shoulder, pointing an accusatory claw as the need arises.

[IntoStella]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/intostella/squirrelbust2.jpg

[Choc]

Today's Observer, page 24

"Its eyes were bloodshot, but it kept on digging".

this thread makes my day :D :D

[IntoStella]

I've just heard Fi Glover mention this on Radio 4's Broadcasting House.....

btw, when I showed IntoStella the SLP and the grauniad (amid unbridled hilarity) she remarked that she'd seen a squirrel frantically digging in central Brixton and eating what she thought was a bit of pale fungi...or not a bit of pale fungi, as the case may be......
It's true. I noticed it because it was digging so frantically.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/intostella/crackyjpg1.jpg

[IntoStella]

That could so easily be the cover of an 'edgy' 'art' magazine. :eek: :eek: :eek:

[TeeJay]

I gave up reading newspapers earlier this year. This just confirms things.

*checks this week's Economist nervously*

[IntoStella]

*checks this week's Economist nervously*Too late

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/intostella/crackyecono.jpg

[PacificOcean]

Does eating crack acutally do anything?

[IntoStella]

Does eating crack acutally do anything?
It does if you're a squirrel

[dogmatique]

Local junkies have resorted to sucking squirrels to get high when desperate.

http://www.something-about-mark.co.uk/stuff/eat.gif

[IntoStella]

Local junkies have resorted to sucking squirrels to get high when desperate.

http://www.something-about-mark.co.uk/stuff/eat.gif
:D Awesome :D

[nipsla]

Jonathan Ross has just had a section on crack squirrels on his show (involving a blinging mechanical squirrel coming in on a souped up lowered convertible) :rolleyes:

Bob - you are a total legend. They should stick a statue of a crack squirrel up in Windrush Square :D

[hendo]

Too late

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/intostella/crackyecono.jpg

This needs to be a tee shirt. And a mug.

[memespring]

Not wishing to be left out of any photoshopping:

http://www.memespring.co.uk/photos/uncategorized/cracksquirells.jpg

[maximilian ping]

edited cos found it

[Bob Marley's Dad]

There's an article on this in the Nov/Dec Druglink magazine, it mentions Urban and quotes Bob as the source of the story, it also names the journalist who nabbed it off here, chief reporter of the SLP apparently.

He says "I'm happy to admit it's an exaggeration of the truth."

[Bob]

There's an article on this in the Nov/Dec Druglink magazine, it mentions Urban and quotes Bob as the source of the story, it also names the journalist who nabbed it off here, chief reporter of the SLP apparently.

He says "I'm happy to admit it's an exaggeration of the truth."

Any chance you could post up the whole article?

[Bob Marley's Dad]

Any chance you could post up the whole article?

Sure, I'll have to type it out as I'm at work but here goes.

Crack squirrels: the making of a bushy tale.

It was the drug tale that had legs - and it ran and ran. The eye-popping revelation last month that squirrels in Brixton, south London were hooked on crack cocaine was reported all over the national media.

SQUIRRELS JOIN THE DRUG WAR screamed the Daily Mail, while rival Daily Express devoted 400 words under the headline SQUIRRELS GO NUTS FOR CRACK COCAINE. Tourists photographed each other standing under billboards advertising the story. But where did it come from?

Druglink can reveal that the source of the story was a tongue in cheek comment on an internet based chat forum. In a post on the Brixton-based web community, urban75 - which made headlines in 2002 when the then commander of Brixton Police Brian Paddick wrote on the forum that he found the "concept of anarchism" appealing - 'Bob' asked 'Can squirrels get addicted to crack?'

Bob explained that one of his neighbours had told him that crack dealers were hiding stashes of the drug in his front garden. "An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering around the garden, digging in the flowerbeds... do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels? I'm worreid by being done over by a twitchy squirrel."

The thread was spotted by Greg Truscott, chief reporter of local newspaper the South London Press. "It was an interesting story and I'm happy to admit it's an exaggeration of the truth," he said. "I doubted there were drug-addicted squirrels out there, but our paper had murders on pages one to five - so I thought if we have some fun and make people laugh then why not." Four days later the story appeared on the paper's front page and the next day it was in every national newspaper, Radio 4 and the Jonathon Ross Show.

'Bob' told Druglink: "My squirrels are still happily scampering round the garden unaware of their celebrity status. And the local cats are stil lchasing the crack squirrels, without any fear. I've had a few happy weeks of seeing my jokey speculation become a major national story. It seems that furry animals and drugs are an irresistible combination."

[Streathamite]

:D :D :D
oh dear oh dear....I am nearly weeping with laughter.
First paddick, then me 'n' bob duffing up michael howard, and now this.
I could fucking piss myself. One jokey post and within 2 weeks flat it's a national news story.
<salutes Bob>

[Blagsta]

Class :D

[Orang Utan]

me 'n' bob duffing up michael howard
:confused:

[Mrs Magpie]

OrangUtan....I think this is the thread...

http://www.urban75.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=90540

[lang rabbie]

OK, who included the squirrel story on the Brixton Wikipedia page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brixton) while I was on my hols ... :mad:

[Streathamite]

:confused:
during the barney between dracula and Polly toynbee, bob dug out a link leading to a speech, made in brixton the year, before showing that letwin had said virtually identical things to PT; I got the link across to PT-she ran it the next day

[Bob]

At my leaving drinks at work last night (I'm changing jobs) I was given a cuddly toy squirrel as one of my presents. :o

[toggle]

At my leaving drinks at work last night (I'm changing jobs) I was given a cuddly toy squirrel as one of my presents. :o


hahahahahaha.

classic.

[dogmatique]

To be forever known as "Crack squirrel Bob".

[lang rabbie]

I think we need to set a challenge for the next Urban-inspired SLP front page.

Something on the lines of:

KEITH FITCHETT
ATE MY CRACK SQUIRREL!

[Bob]

It never dies this.

Originally posted by the Daily Mirror 13 January 2006
WHEN GOOD ANIMALS GO BAD

THEY may look cute - but beneath the cuddly exterior beats the heart of a criminal.

Dastardly dogs, scheming squirrels, cunning cats... And now marauding monkeys who are causing havoc in Cambodia by stealing bags of glue from addicts, getting high and attacking locals.

Here DAVID EDWARDS takes a look at some of the world's unlikeliest law-breakers..

CRACK SQUIRRELS

RED-EYED and twitching, they hang around outside the Ritzy cinema in Brixton desperate for their next fix. But one thing sets them apart from other junkies in this South London neighbourhood - this lot have bushy tails.

Squirrels have apparently become the latest victims of ' Britain's drug culture, after the freebasing fiends began digging up and eating crack cocaine buried by local dealers.

Advertisement
Falk AdSolution

A similar problem is said to have plagued the residents of estates in New York and Washington where drugs are rife.

[maximilian ping]

as you said in the quote you gave me bob, there's nothing hacks like better than a good animals and drugs story

[Pingu]

this is class stuff

[loud 1]

i didnt realise that story came from here!!!!!!


hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


that is fukin classic!!!

:D

[Alan G]

Just a short bump to say this has been picked up by Fortean Times who are also quoting posters to this thread :)

[Belushi]

Just a short bump to say this has been picked up by Fortean Times who are also quoting posters to this thread :)

The article was written by Orang Utans housemate.

[Orang Utan]

This one ain't on crack, but it's one step away.
http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com/image/14772279.jpg
This one's in crack:
http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com/image/6915647_scaled_316x279.jpg
These are from a site run by a mad right-wing American woman:
http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com/
Fucking hilarious reading - check the Osama Bin Squirrel bit.

[Velouria]

Crack squirrels on Saxondale just now...just in the intro bit!!

!!

Thus are Urban Legends born ... :D

[Brixton Hatter]

ah, you beat me to it Velouria!

steve coogan doing a 2 minute rant about the dangers of crack-addicted squirrels....even top comedians are nicking stuff from u75 now!

[Velouria]

I'm Steve Coogan.

:D

[Bob]

I was at a wedding in France about a month back and when I mentioned to the (Camberwell living) couple sitting next to me that I was from Brixton they asked me if I had any crack squirrels. :)

[Brixton Hatter]

I was at a wedding in France about a month back and when I mentioned to the (Camberwell living) couple sitting next to me that I was from Brixton they asked me if I had any crack squirrels. :)
LOL - what goes around comes around! i think you started this after all eh bob?! ;)

[Bob]

LOL - what goes around comes around! i think you started this after all eh bob?! ;)

Exactly. Amusingly it was an accident. :D

[Crispy]

Is this on snopes.com yet?

[Skim]

More crack squirrel news... watching BBC2 last night, Steve Coogan had his Tommy Saxondale character doing a monologue during his therapy session about cocaine-addicted pigeons and crack squirrels.

It's the gift that keeps on giving, Bob :cool:

[RushcroftRoader]

we need to start a new Urban Legend.
Suggestions peeps?
:D

[Skim]

ah, you beat me to it Velouria!

steve coogan doing a 2 minute rant about the dangers of crack-addicted squirrels....even top comedians are nicking stuff from u75 now!


I should have read your post before I repeated it :D :o

[Iemanja]

hehe, I've heard about this thread before, and here it is! :cool:

[maximilian ping]

ketamine ducks

[Skim]

ketamine ducks

And ganja geese. Swimming at the lido together in harmony.

[signor sinistra]

More from the SLP:

http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0400lambeth/tm_objectid=17380903%26method=full%26siteid=50100%26headline=cunning%2dfox%2dsteals%2dipod-name_page.html




Cunning fox steals iPod

Jul 14 2006

By Robert Dex


A sneaky crook has raided properties in Brixton's Trinity Gardens in the last month.

Police say the thief, who goes by the name of Vulpes Vulpes, learnt his trade robbing food from bins in the area before moving on to more valuable goods.

The fox has shown a distinct preference for the finer things in life - making off with a trendy iPod MP3 player and a designer handbag this week.

Now angry residents are demanding the villain be hunted down and hounded out of the square for his crimes.

A Brixton police source said the thief's early forays were carried out under cover of darkness but as he has become more confident he has started ransacking homes in broad daylight.

One embarrassed householder told the South London Press how he lost hundreds of pounds worth of kit.

He said: "It was a warm day and I had left the back door open and he must have crept in.

"I only realised what had happened when I went to get my Paul Smith brogues for a wed-ding I was going to and one was missing.

"My iPod went as well. I think he must have liked the smell of the leather case it was in."

The brazen thief has even been seen prowling around the square flaunting an expensive Louis Vuitton handbag he stole from another house.

The police source added: "What sort of animal does this kind of thing?

"Residents can rest assured we take this sort of crime very seriously and we will catch up with this villain.

"We have chased a few false trails during the investigation but I'm confident we are now on his scent and will catch up with him soon."

Urban fox expert Dr Phil Baker said it was not unusual for foxes to steal from homes.

He said: "It is the time of year when young foxes start to get a bit more independent.

"This could be a young one just exploring the area and doing something a bit naughty.

"Strong-smelling leather objects like wallets and shoes are often taken and found in dens where cubs use them to play with."


---------------------------------------------------------


I can just see the fox taking the iPod to the infamous crack squirrel and asking how many rocks he can get for it. I can also visualise the fox sashaying down the street brandishing the LV handbag.

Delinquent creatures, the lot of them.

[Orang Utan]

I saw that!
It's in my street too, this alleged thief.
There's a great pic of a fox with a burglar's mask on

[laptop]

The London Collection

By Rob Hinchcliffe, Mike Atherton, Matt Plaskitt, William Wiles and Kenneth Yau.

(Think Books, £9.99)

Taking a sideways (and often fictional) glance at London, we find what Plato had to say about the Circle Line, how people on Oxford Street were once drowned by a river of beer, who the least impressive people to have turned on the Christmas lights were, the ten things they wish were true about Camden (but aren’t), why Islington has the only public house on a Monopoly board, and the oh-so-essential advice on how to pass through ten Tube stations that start with the letter H. Oh, and the drug-crazed crack squirrels of Brixton.



Reviewed in Murdoch's cheapest organ (http://www.thelondonpaper.com/cs/Satellite/london/lcsearch/article/1157140037829?packedargs=suffix%3DArticleController)

[Skim]

This thread should never be allowed to die :cool:

[Avantrural]

i've got the south london press front page on my kitchen wall!
didn't realise the story originates here...!
class...

[zenie]

Do you post somewhere else by chance? :confused: ;) :D

[Mrs Magpie]

William told him about here...

[marty21]

i always think this thread is a lot longer than it actually is:confused:

[Mrs Magpie]

Well, it's mostly very short posts....

[hektik]

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20070614/tod-uk-germany-squirrel-1a5e080.html

this one is being blamed on it being the mating season, but we all know the truth, he was just represneting his ends..

[maximilian ping]

fucking classic :D

sounds like a weresquirrel wot has been on a birthday crack binge

[Onket]

For the record then, anyone know if eating crack will have any effect?!

[maximilian ping]

lab tests show monkeys love crack more than any other drug and get off on it

squirrels and monkeys like climbing trees

so yes, squirrels will get off on crack

[Onket]

We're doomed.

[MrSki]

For the record then, anyone know if eating crack will have any effect?!

Probably kill you. Depending on the amount.

[ViolentPanda]

Probably kill you. Depending on the amount.

Probably cure your indigestion though.

[bluestreak]

seems like it's a big day for wild squirrels. whilst clearing my inbox at work i found this:

Please be warned there seems to be a bread of Squirrel rooming the streets of Brixton . Esp church mannor!!!! Attacking our DLO please alert them

spelling and grammar failures Trainee Manager's own.

[Bob]

One of the cheeky buggers snuck into the front of my flat a few weeks back and snaffled some cake... :D

[Skim]

I looked out the kitchen window earlier and saw one in the back garden feasting on the contents of my next-door-neighbour's ashtray :D

[Bob]

From yesterday's Observer, after an absence from the media of a year:

There was a story of squirrels addicted to crack cocaine in Brixton.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/oct/19/red-squirrels-protection

[Louloubelle]

From yesterday's Observer, after an absence from the media of a year:



http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/oct/19/red-squirrels-protection


from your link

'We only call ourselves the Red Squirrel Protection Partnership because if we called it the Grey Squirrel Annihilation League people might be a bit less sympathetic,' Redesdale announces, chuckling. 'But we do nothing with red squirrels apart from save them by killing grey squirrels!'

In the two years of their existence, Redesdale and Parker have been remarkably successful. While other conservation groups go in for education or re-habitation, they favour genocide. With a recruited army of 900 volunteers - grannies and game wardens, families and farmers - they have slaughtered 19,500 grey squirrels in the past 18 months and claim to have cleared England's northernmost county of the rodent. The grannies, Redesdale suggests, tend to be the most bloodthirsty trappers. 'It's like: "Can you beat it to death with a hammer and let me watch?" We had one old dear who went inside and came back out with a sort of elephant gun: "Do you want to shoot it with this?"'

:D

[Pieface]

:D

I used that fish shop in Corbridge.
Might get some squirrel for xmas.

[marty21]

it mentions black squirrels in that article :confused: never heard of them

[Louloubelle]

I've seen squirrels in camden eat tiny mushrooms growing in a church garden and then behaving in a delinquent way afterwards.

One had a huge conker and had it's mouth wide open and biting the conker and its paws wrapped around the conker as far as they would go. The conker was far too big for it to carry but it stayed there wild-eyed and excited and refused to drop the conker even when I got very close. Eventually, when I was almost touching it, it tried to run up a tree but then fell down again as if drunk.

[Pieface]

it mentions black squirrels in that article :confused: never heard of them


a mutation apparently - starting to wonder if the whole article's a piss take :D

[marty21]

a mutation apparently - starting to wonder if the whole article's a piss take :D

imagine the hoohah

black squirrels on crack :eek:

[Louloubelle]

a mutation apparently - starting to wonder if the whole article's a piss take :D

I don't think it is

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-561946/The-pack-mutant-black-squirrels-giving-Britains-grey-population-taste-medicine.html

[LadyR]

it mentions black squirrels in that article :confused: never heard of them

They're definitely real - I've seen them in New York, but never in London though.

[marty21]

They're definitely real - I've seen them in New York, but never in London though.

are they on crack?

[LadyR]

are they on crack?

Hard to tell! They just acted like normal squirrels really :p

[OpalFruit]

How can we attract this squirrel extermination squad to S London?

I can't leave my door open in summer because the nasty aggressive greedy little bastards come in and nick food, I am sure they are responsible for the demise of sparrows - and I remember sweet little red sqirrels in my garden as a child, waaaaah!

[hipipol]

How can we attract this squirrel extermination squad to S London?

I can't leave my door open in summer because the nasty aggressive greedy little bastards come in and nick food, I am sure they are responsible for the demise of sparrows - and I remember sweet little red sqirrels in my garden as a child, waaaaah!

Entirely wrong, Squirrels and Sparras are mates!!!

We have loads o sparratroopers - cos thats wot they look like as they pour down from their HedgeQuarters to raid the ground feeding trays
We get loads of Squirrels too, they never bother the sparras

As for them raiding yer dinner, well I never leave my eats lying about long enough - if they want to try biting out from my gut, they can have a go - but ours run off when you get close

Yours sound like they may be Crack Fiends as yer average tree rat has more sense than to take on something the size of a human - you should get one of these
http://www.norwegieknights.com/arwenfluff.jpg

Norwegian Forrest Cat
Skogkatter (http://www.norwegieknights.com/about.html)

Will put paid to the pesky drug deranged squirrels for sure

[_pH_]

I just had to bump this classic thread after seeing it linked here (http://londonist.com/2009/07/the_london_blogger_interviews_25_ur.php)

Urban's finest moment? :D

[editor]

It was quality, for sure.

[aqua]

an admirable use of the word heebeegeebee's :D and this made me laugh out loud :D

With so many people posting on urban75, the first meet ups were organised at squat party raves, but folks tended to get so off their nuts that they couldn't remember who'd they met. don't know *what* you mean :whistles innocently:

[pootle]

I just had to bump this classic thread after seeing it linked here (http://londonist.com/2009/07/the_london_blogger_interviews_25_ur.php)

Interesting article/interview :cool: Thanks _pH_, and Editor for his bit, obvs! ;)

[Orang Utan]

my flatmate wrote an article in the fortean times about it (i may have mentioned this already).
here it is:
http://wetfloor.co.uk/Articles/index.php?dir=Articles&file=squirrels_on_crack.htm

[badco]

Sorry to piss on your chips but crack is not addictive... Thread over

[Orang Utan]

oh dear oh dear oh dear
badco fails once again

[maximilian ping]

my flatmate wrote an article in the fortean times about it (i may have mentioned this already).
here it is:
http://wetfloor.co.uk/Articles/index.php?dir=Articles&file=squirrels_on_crack.htm

hmmm. that article seems very familiar to me...

[Orang Utan]

maybe you've read it before

[marty21]

oh dear oh dear oh dear
badco fails once again

:D

[badco]

oh dear oh dear oh dear
badco fails once again

It's not addictive

[_pH_]

It's not addictive

It must be or all those sqrls wouldn't be in rehab now :(

[Orang Utan]

It's not addictive

shut up and go away. or at least read the fucking thread, you divclart.

[el-ahrairah]

It's not addictive

There are many who would disagree with that.

[marty21]

It's not addictive

have you read the thread?

[Orang Utan]

hmmm. that article seems very familiar to me...

just to reiterate - are you implying something here? :hmm:

[MrSki]

It's not addictive

What about the fact that a rock or two can & will kill & human when swallowed but squirrels have genetically altered to be able to live off it rather than acorns.;)

[maximilian ping]

just to reiterate - are you implying something here? :hmm:

not at all dude

[_pH_]

I wish i hadn't bumped this now :( It was one of urban's finest moments in showing up the tabloid press for the gullible scaremongerers they are, and now it's just gonna end up being a bun fight :(

[Brixton Hatter]

it even ended up on the front page of the grauniad (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2005/oct/08/drugsandalcohol.patrickbarkham) a few days after the original sun story!

but they were taking the piss by then...

[maximilian ping]

i spoke to the journo at the SLP at the time and full marks to him for getting such a great front page out of a funny post on a fairly obscure website ;)

[Brixton Hatter]

yep, the old adage is true - never let the facts get in the way of a good story!

[linerider]

and now it's just gonna end up being a bun fight :(

NO it's not. :mad:


:D

[Blagsta]

Sorry to piss on your chips but crack is not addictive... Thread over

That's why some people can't stop smoking it innit. :hmm:

[badco]

That's why some people can't stop smoking it innit. :hmm:

You don't get any withdrawals from it

[Orang Utan]

why do people fuck up their lives and rob and steal to get it then?

[editor]

You don't get any withdrawals from itbadco: you're shoving your big size nines in a legendary thread and basically ruining it for everyone. If you want to wow the world with your incredibly in-depth knowledge of crack, please start a thread in the drugs forum. This is a thread about crack squirrels. They're not humans in case you hadn't noticed.

[Blagsta]

You don't get any withdrawals from it

There isn't a clearly defined withdrawal syndrome like there is with heroin, alcohol and benzos. So what?

[linerider]

Sorry to piss on your chips but crack is not addictive... Thread over

Physical and mental addiction add up to the same fucking thing twat.

[Crispy]

Please don't feed the troll

[billythefish]

This one made me laugh when I saw it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikH9ZRcF2Q