morriki
23-08-2005, 19:42
I was on the piccadilly line tube that was hit between kings cross and russel square. I have a very lucky star and thankfully I always get on the last carriage. I came out with nothing worse than a blackened face & having spent 1/2 hr thinking I might die.
I didn't really think it was a big deal compared to what others must have gone through. I read Rachel's blog on this site & that, amongst many other things, made me feel guilty....I got off lightly.
However, all these weeks later & I still haven't got on the tube, I still haven't cried....I have shouted and snapped at people, which I never do. This morning I went to my GP and told her about it, she is referring me to 'someone to talk to'.
I talk about it all the time, everyone wants to hear the story....but I don't really 'talk' about it. I am wary of 'seeing someone' and making it into something bigger than it is. But life is not the same, I have tried to fight it, certain that I am strong & I'll be ok. But I guess I'm not as strong as I thought.
What, I think, would really help would be to talk to, & maybe meet, some of those people who were in my carriage and on the train....the guy who opened the doors a couple of inches and kept telling us there was fresh air so we would be fine, the girl who admitted in the tunnel that 'at least now I know I'm crap in a crisis' and the man who gallantly carried my bags along the tunnel, handed them back & said 'have a nice week end then'! All of those and more I would like to find & see how they are doing. Although I'm still wearing a smile, I'm not doing great! I thought I was but I seem to be having a bit of a delayed reaction....are you?
I didn't really think it was a big deal compared to what others must have gone through. I read Rachel's blog on this site & that, amongst many other things, made me feel guilty....I got off lightly.
However, all these weeks later & I still haven't got on the tube, I still haven't cried....I have shouted and snapped at people, which I never do. This morning I went to my GP and told her about it, she is referring me to 'someone to talk to'.
I talk about it all the time, everyone wants to hear the story....but I don't really 'talk' about it. I am wary of 'seeing someone' and making it into something bigger than it is. But life is not the same, I have tried to fight it, certain that I am strong & I'll be ok. But I guess I'm not as strong as I thought.
What, I think, would really help would be to talk to, & maybe meet, some of those people who were in my carriage and on the train....the guy who opened the doors a couple of inches and kept telling us there was fresh air so we would be fine, the girl who admitted in the tunnel that 'at least now I know I'm crap in a crisis' and the man who gallantly carried my bags along the tunnel, handed them back & said 'have a nice week end then'! All of those and more I would like to find & see how they are doing. Although I'm still wearing a smile, I'm not doing great! I thought I was but I seem to be having a bit of a delayed reaction....are you?