Olympics closing ceremony on TV now.

Its not the cliche I hated as much as the tiny scale of it all. It was like they had designed a tableau for a small provincial studio.

It was cheap and looked it.

the entire ceremony is about China, they gave us ten minutes or so as a courtesy cos that's how it works.

CGI Fireworks again

spot on.

Agreed. I could feel them all going- Ahem... watch this!

Since about 1997.



"Cool Britannia"

They had ten minutes or so to do it and the entire arena has been taken over by the athletes and the rest of the show. They could have done better but it's a bit unfair to complain about the scale of it.

Oh its just gone pure eurovision!

Come on, this bit's far worse than jimmy page and leona lewis

well, if you want naff... looks like the chinese are giving us lessons in that too.

I don't think those singers are really singing

*clicks fingers*

*taps foot*

Oh, our 8 minutes was great!

I can finally see what kind of Olympics we need to have - we mustn't take it seriously, or earnestly, or lose our sense of humour over it. We should do it our way, limpingly and drearily and cunningly cheap! And if it is ever in any danger of failing, then we should wheel out an old rock star - in fact, we should have old rocks stars on podiums hidden under the very streets for just such occasions.

We have, at various times, led the world in fashion, music, theatre, film - we should rely on our old staples like this, wheel out Paul McCartney if he's still alive, and the Queen, backed by Queen! Oh yes, I can see it now, glorious and hilarious and spectacularly ours. And cheap! So lovely and cheap.

We don't have billions of people willing to act like computers in choreographed dance routines, we didn't invent fireworks, we don't run a one-party state with unlimited budgets - we have a pissant, wet little island that is quite possibly the funniest, coolest, place on earth.

If we take it seriously, we will get another Millenium Dome. There's something a little distasteful about the efforts the Chinese have gone to to look good - we don't need to try that hard, FACT.

It's all gone Bucks Fizz.

Lovin' it!

Are they lip synching?!

Straight after our own rubbish attempt at naffness. They are even doing naff better.

why can't we be the best at ANYTHING?!?!

At least Leona was genuinely singing About the only point we have scored so far against the Chinese! I hate to say it but all this talk about us providing an 'intimate' Olympic experience just sounds like damage limitation in readiness...

since, like... always?

The Aussies has Midnight Oil and Kylie playing at their closing ceremony!

Godammit, imagine what they are saying about our little interlude

we're not even any good at being naff?

I actually pretty much totally agree with this

*goesoff back to watching wigan v chelsea online rather than this shite*

''beijing beijing i love beijing.''

fuckin' awful.

this next but is okay.

Perhaps we should have had a troupe of perpetually embarrassed people feeling self conscious in the belief that everything produced by their country looks rubbish in comparison to anything done by anyone else, anywhere in the world. Anything foreign must be cooler than anything we can manage. Quintessentially British that.

You lot would have been great at it.

Thats the spirit, old chap.

Who's that old cunt singing now?

Jesus wept.

Just what I thought, someone buy that man a new (fitted) suit. (and tie).